• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

PTSD from abusive relationship?

D

Dhdhe

Active member
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
34
Location
Southampton
Looking for a bit of guidance, not planning on seeing the doctor soon since I have other things to worry about. I will go to doc eventually.

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠ sexual, physical, emotional abuse within a relationship, sexual assault. Not detailed.
-
I entered into an abusive relationship Mid July 2019. Initially it was golden and perfect, but soon I became his “therapist” and every excuse was made in order to get me to do whatever he wanted. Even in valentines cards (which I am BURNING) he would make excuses about his “horrible” behaviour.

Anyways, I came out of it with a bunch of trauma including:
-countless cases of sexual coercion (if I didn’t do it he would not talk to me & break plant pots in the next room, I have sensory issues)
-one or two cases of rape (mid autistic shutdown, unable to consent)
-daily emotional abuse (mainly gaslighting)
-I was separated from my friends - I don’t know how to make friends so as a result I have had none for about a year
-triggering out very young alters because it made me “attractive” (EW),
-I am asexual towards men which made it all 20 times worse.
-all that and so much more & a bit of physical abuse, all whilst multiple different people knew what was happening and did nothing to help me *just because he was respected*.

it really did a number on my mental health, I was admitted to hospital twice.

8 months after ending the relationship and I’m starting to get more and more jittery when i am reminded of him, I have unpleasant dreams where he is the antagonist, and things like heavy breathing make me panic. As of this week, I have been getting phantom smells (olfactory hallucinations) of what his house smelled like, and it makes me feel awful, terrified and like I’m stuck back there again.

I’ve tried everything, I thought if I could just write down everything he did to me then I’d have “officially processed it” but it seems it’s not so simple. Plus, when I start trying to write it all down I dissociate and other alters in my OSDD-1b system try to paralyse my access to my memory bank, haha.

Ahyways, simple question - does this sound like ptsd/cptsd?

Thanks!
-Dhdhe
 
A

Aurelius

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
598
From the way things are escalating, I think 'eventually' needs to be very soon!!
 
D

Dhdhe

Active member
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
34
Location
Southampton
From the way things are escalating, I think 'eventually' needs to be very soon!!
oh thank you, yes, it does seem to be getting worse. as I'm part of a traumagenic system (not diagnosed, just me observing the obvious) I by definition must have c-ptsd already from some kind of childhood trauma which I don't fully remember but that's besides the point... I might ask for a referral. I need to get my autism assessment anyways, so... anyways thanks again :)
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
5,164
Location
United States
@Dhdhe it sounds an awful lot like me and I have PTSD from the rapes etc...even one due to a mental breakdown where I was unable to move, don't know if that is similar to your experience though. How are you doing today?
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2021
Messages
1,277
Location
Tirana
Sounds horruble and yes, textbook PTSD. Hope you get the professional help you need.

From what I've learnt reading these forums over several years - vulnerable ladues with mental health and autism issues often end up with awful men. I guess one reasin is that they fail to spiyt the danger signs early enough. The flip side is that awful men prey on vulnerable women because a 'normal' woman would give them a wude berth.
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
5,164
Location
United States
Sounds horruble and yes, textbook PTSD. Hope you get the professional help you need.

From what I've learnt reading these forums over several years - vulnerable ladues with mental health and autism issues often end up with awful men. I guess one reasin is that they fail to spiyt the danger signs early enough. The flip side is that awful men prey on vulnerable women because a 'normal' woman would give them a wude berth.
It also happens that some strong ladies get stuck in relationships with some form of abuse because they know they are strong and may think of the abuse as a small matter or sometimes that is when mental disorders step in and one cannot remember a variety of things and are unable to reason. Everyone has a limit... unfortunately we do not know what limits are placed on us for us to be given mental disorders.
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2021
Messages
1,277
Location
Tirana
I guess anybody can end up in an abusive relationship. Abusers are good at hiding their bad side to begin with.

John Lennon was a woman beater. How many of his victims would of been believed at the time?
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
5,164
Location
United States
Yes you are right. And I better be careful, thinking about the rapes caused a flashback
 
D

Dhdhe

Active member
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
34
Location
Southampton
It also happens that some strong ladies get stuck in relationships with some form of abuse because they know they are strong and may think of the abuse as a small matter or sometimes that is when mental disorders step in and one cannot remember a variety of things and are unable to reason. Everyone has a limit... unfortunately we do not know what limits are placed on us for us to be given mental disorders.
hi, thank you for the reply, I wasn't feeling up to replying for quite a while! I'm doing okay & am fairly stable in regards to my depressive episodes & anxiety. the hallucinations are still happening as is the dissociation and it happens about once or twice a day.

I'm trying to distract myself. my favourite hobby (my autistic special interest) is plant care which is annoying because it makes me think of him because he also cared for plants & because of him smashing the plant pots all the time.

anyways, I really appreciate your comments & feedback, I hope you have a lovely day
 
D

Dhdhe

Active member
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
34
Location
Southampton
I guess anybody can end up in an abusive relationship. Abusers are good at hiding their bad side to begin with.

John Lennon was a woman beater. How many of his victims would of been believed at the time?
absolutely.
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
5,164
Location
United States
hi, thank you for the reply, I wasn't feeling up to replying for quite a while! I'm doing okay & am fairly stable in regards to my depressive episodes & anxiety. the hallucinations are still happening as is the dissociation and it happens about once or twice a day.

I'm trying to distract myself. my favourite hobby (my autistic special interest) is plant care which is annoying because it makes me think of him because he also cared for plants & because of him smashing the plant pots all the time.

anyways, I really appreciate your comments & feedback, I hope you have a lovely day
I understand and glad to hear you are doing okay. Sorry that there is disturbance with your favorite hobby. The voices I have did that to me with a lot of things. Hoping you keep feeling better and better.
 
D

Dhdhe

Active member
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
34
Location
Southampton
Sounds horruble and yes, textbook PTSD. Hope you get the professional help you need.

From what I've learnt reading these forums over several years - vulnerable ladues with mental health and autism issues often end up with awful men. I guess one reasin is that they fail to spiyt the danger signs early enough. The flip side is that awful men prey on vulnerable women because a 'normal' woman would give them a wude berth.
yes, that's very true, even at the beginning of the relationship my sister, who is neurotypical, warned me that it wasn't a good idea to be with him, I should have listened to her.

he even told me at one point that she was pregnant (she's a minor) and other things which I still don't know if it was her that lied to him or him that lied to me. it really messed me up.

there were lots of red flags & I almost encouraged the abuse because of my low self esteem, but at least now, I know what to look out for.

thanks for the reolyy
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
S PTSD from emotionally abusive relationship...do I leave now things are getting better? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 26
C PTSD from an abusive relationship with a psychopath Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 6
Lilly776 PTSD after rape TW Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 5
K How do you get over ptsd when what your scared of happening is really happening? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 8
E PTSD from MH treatment/hospitalisations Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
M COMPLEX PTSD ; support,advice,sympathy Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
R Recently found out I most probably have PTSD: looking for advice Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 9
L PTSD and depression? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
jajingna Book about PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
W PTSD after accident Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
P Living with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
E PTSD from hospital admissions? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 5
L PTSD from loss of Brother Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 9
R Need to understand my complex PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 10
carlita PTSD and emotional neglect Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 21
Bluejay7500 PTSD and anxiety discovery Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 70
P PTSD and abuse those who cared for you Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
S PTSD I Didn't Know I Had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
Tawny Getter Better - PTSD and CPTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 14
T Trying to deal with a roommate that has PTSD and other issues. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 8
angel1982 prazosin for PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
B Helping someone with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 6
K Can long term PTSD lead to psychosis/schizophrenia Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 7
J Could this be PTSD? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
Z Is this PTSD? Petty problem, but still.. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
U is this PTSD? **** trigger warnings, abuse described **** Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
P Is it PTSD, or something else? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
S Is this part of PTSD? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
O PTSD and blocking most events out Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 5
S Support with Partner Who Seems to Be Struggling with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
fireandairo TW Ptsd emotional and drug abuse Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
C PTSD cheating/physical abuse.. partner doesn’t support me.. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
K I have OCD and PTSD, a recent guy on the internet is triggering me to have bad panic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
C How long does PTSD last? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
O PTSD and feeling “fake” or “dead”? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
M Feeling guilty for being diagnosed with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
lizard56 Do I have PTSD? Please help! Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
9 PTSD Suffocating ***TRIGGER - Discusses abuse *** Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 10
K Mind-Body Workbook for PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
micas Do I have PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
B PTSD because of traumatic psychiatric hospital experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 13
H Past relationship and ptsd Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 8
A Alcohol anaesthetised PTSD... Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
S Is this PTSD or just trauma? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
B What is considered a traumatic event to be considered PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 5
P Told dont need ptsd, agoraphobia diagnosis because autism diagnosis. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 9
L Negative criticism PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
B Depakine, olanzapine for ptsd Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
H PTSD involving Emergency contraception **Trigger warning - sexual assault Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 8
Jess96 Complex PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2

Similar threads

Top