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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

PTSD, Epilepsy, Flashbacks,

A

A R Hellings

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Thetford, Norfolk
I dont really know were to start if i'm honest, i have been diagnosed with complex PTSD at the beginning of the year when i was admitted to hospital but things just kept getting me down and things haven't been good for years. A long story short i had to give my 4 month old daughter CPR and sadly she didn't make it and we loss her 7 years ago. I thought we had dealt with it as a family never forgotten but dealing with the grief as best as we could as a family until we had another daughter 6 years later. Her heart stopped at 6 months old and i had to give her CPR and she was rushed to London to intensive care. We were lucky she survived and she is still with us today, she has her serious health conditions but she is still with us and since then we have found out that my two sons also carry the genetic condition that was effecting her life. It wasn't until i had to give my second child CPR that i realised how much giving CPR to a loved one is so different to giving it in a care setting. I work in a setting were i do give CPR on a regular basis. i came out of hospital just before lock down hit us. It started to effect my job when covid hit as i was front line and the amount of people we loss was physical and emotional hard on us all but we kept going and going i had to stay away from the family as i was working front line. Most of my team caught Covid so there was much staff shortage but together we pulled through and we were lucky we didn't loss any staff to COVID. I managed to keep going until things started to calm down (that seems to happen a lot, adrenaline keeps me going and it not till things calm down that i struggle with it all coming back).
I ended back in hospital for a few weeks while they started me on new medication for depression and to help control my flashbacks. The flashback were effecting me day and night and i was so scared of getting them because i have no control over them. I am now slowly getting use to my medication with a few side effects and slowly getting back into work. So much has happened in the last few years and i have just kept going until i found a massive brick wall in the way of life
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am so deeply sorry you lost your daughter. That must have been truly horrific. To have to give your second daughter CPR must have brought back the pain. It is good to hear you have support and the medication is helping.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
16,637
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
I'm so sorry for your loss, my dad had a massive heart attack then arrested. I had to do CPR got him back, but he sadly died in hospital.
I used to be a nurse.
So I do understand.
Here to chat anytime if it helps.
Hugs
 
A

A R Hellings

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Thetford, Norfolk
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
I'm so sorry for your loss, my dad had a massive heart attack then arrested. I had to do CPR got him back, but he sadly died in hospital.
I used to be a nurse.
So I do understand.
Here to chat anytime if it helps.
Hugs
Thank you for the support and welcome. i am also very sorry for your loss of your father.
I have thought of joining a forum for a long time to talk to people about my story and get advise and to help others who are also struggling.
After going through what you went through do you think you could ever go back to nursing? I have debated coming out and trying something else but this is all i have ever done and i have years of degrees and qualification that i dont know what else i could do. And at the current moment i would feel awful coming out when all nurses and caring staff are needed but then at the same time a second hit could potentially set me back again.
 
A

A R Hellings

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Thetford, Norfolk
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am so deeply sorry you lost your daughter. That must have been truly horrific. To have to give your second daughter CPR must have brought back the pain. It is good to hear you have support and the medication is helping.
Thank you for your support and welcome, it truly means alot. It is something that does bring so much pain and it is not helped that the condition that she has we could have to deal with it again. we dont know her life span or currently if she can get on the heart translate list due to the Neurological issues she has as well. I find most of time my brain is going a million miles an hour.
I work in the caring industry doing medication and care duties and before i go to work and when i get home i have all the kids medication to do as all three are now on medication and at night my daughter has to be put on her sats machine and oxygen. It is non stop, sometimes i dont have time to stop and think about what is going on around the family until things calm down. covid has calmed down and my daughter is doing well and being a fighter (touch wood) so its now when it hits me what we actually going through.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
16,637
Location
England
Thank you for the support and welcome. i am also very sorry for your loss of your father.
I have thought of joining a forum for a long time to talk to people about my story and get advise and to help others who are also struggling.
After going through what you went through do you think you could ever go back to nursing? I have debated coming out and trying something else but this is all i have ever done and i have years of degrees and qualification that i dont know what else i could do. And at the current moment i would feel awful coming out when all nurses and caring staff are needed but then at the same time a second hit could potentially set me back again.
Hi,
Thank you for your kind words, I have lots of physical conditions so not well enough to return.
I do miss nursing terribly.
Wish I could have helped out with covid19, however I'd be scared.
Hope you can find a way to decide, you have to put your health first.
Glad your little girl is such a fighter, hope you get support in caring for her.
Hugs
 

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