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PTSD and feeling “fake” or “dead”?

O

orcas

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Jan 31, 2021
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Hi. I’m 22, diagnosed with PTSD but haven’t been to therapy in a few years bc it’s really expensive. I used to take meds for depression but I’m not sad anymore.

Lately I’ve been having weird episodes where I feel like I’m not a real person and I don’t know what to do. This has happened before, when I was a kid. I was just walking at a baseball game after school and suddenly I was convinced that I wasn’t real, like my body was a corpse just moving on its own. And people interacting with me were interacting with some version of me that no longer existed while I was spectating.

I just graduated college and it’s happening again, but really badly. I’m not sure if this is normal for PTSD-havers to experience? It’s worse than my normal “dissociation” for me. I feel like I’m actually a Thing, an echo, an object, a body and I need to check to make sure I’m not transparent or cold or fake.

I genuinely feel so crazy talking about it. I know it doesn’t make sense. I’m not even “sad” but I feel and sometimes truly believe that I’m a ghost or a corpse just walking among real people or that everything is all fake.

Is this a normal symptom of PTSD? If other people experience this, how do you stop? How do you be productive?
 
N

njmisdesperate

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Jan 29, 2021
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It could be part of PTSD or it could be a symptom of schizophrenia. It is an unusual perception. You can message me if you want to talk.
 
gay cotard

gay cotard

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Feb 2, 2021
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I agree with njmisdesperate. I have PTSD and psychosis, and I experience something similar in my early cotard delusion. 550A798F-5925-4E4B-8799-5F11C0A31ADB.jpeg
 
I

Imamess93

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Feb 3, 2021
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I haven't had that myself but I think it's something called 'Depersonalisation' or 'Derealization' from what I've heard from other people. It's a certain form of dissociation. Involves not feeling real or maybe seeing your own body from the outside.

When I dissociate I just feel completely emotionally numb and sometimes I can't remember chunks of time from when I was dissociated but other people who dissociate have told me they experience something closer to what you've described. But whether it's PTSD or Psychosis or anything else, please try and take comfort in knowing it's something that other people experience too and probably a response to stress or a trigger.

In terms of stopping it, I'd suggest the same things that help for dissociation, like grounding or holding ice cubes or anything else that keeps you present in the moment and makes you feel real (that's what I do for dissociation anyway but what I've experienced is not quite the same as you so sorry if that's not a helpful suggestion).

Hope you feel better soon :)
 
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