• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

PTSD and depression?

L

Lilypadkingdom

New member
Joined
Jul 7, 2021
Messages
3
Location
London
Hi guys, thank you for reading this, I've just found the forum and wanted some advice from the community. I have just been told by a doctor after one brief conversation that I might have PTSD or an adjustment disorder with depression after my metal health deteriorated.

For context, I have a history of low mood and was admitted as an inpatient facility for anorexia at 18, meaning I had to drop out of school and receive intensive professional support. I'm 22 now and completely recovered, but while in there a very close friend attempted suicide in front of me after confiding that she'd been having suicidal ideation. I was racked with guilt and focused all my energy on recovery and getting out. After I got out I went on a trip with friends and another of my close friends was raped by two men. I was beside myself and ended up in a hospital abroad while my friends tried to deal with the situation.

These were a long time ago, but after a lot of intense stress I feel they are still very present for me. Over the last year I have been in a relationship which has been extremely toxic at times and there have been episodes of infidelity. I felt like I was losing my mind and used smoking and alcohol to cope, also with the extreme stress of university coupled with the job of a carer. My grades dropped I became depressed. Later on I began to feel completely emotionally numb, like all of the feeling suddenly disappeared.

I then discovered I was pregnant. Abortion was the only route that made any sense and I had the support of family and my partner, but it was awful. I saw its heart beating, got the scan pictures - all of it - and then had to have an at-home abortion. I saved the pregnancy remains and later had a ceremonial burial. I had no time to grieve because I had university exams so just became what felt like an automaton - no feeling, brain frazzled completely. I continued to drink and shortly after experienced overwhelmingly intense episodes of rage. They come out of nowhere, paired with fear, and my beheavior has led to being scared of myself and how I cope alone.

I often see images of the things I have experienced and feel my body begin to react with anxiety. I can sometimes snap out of it with anxiety methods but generally try to completely push all of it out of my head. I still drink, still feel rage, cannot concentrate or socialise and I feel vaguely stunned and muted.

I want to turn things around but feel helpless and would like to understand my situation better. I'm not asking for a diagnosis or anything of the sort, I just feel like an imposter and have told no-one in my life as a result. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.
 
Jolly

Jolly

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,710
Location
United Kingdom
Welcome to the forum. This is so sad and the forum will be around shortly to support and help
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
5,285
Location
United States
[email protected] 😊,

It seems like you have a handle on this and I don't see where to advise you. I have been having some rough PTSD with the things I think happened to someone I love, so I can relate to you there.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
S Depression and PTSD? Something More? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
TamiHutch PTSD,GAD, manic depression, dysthymia Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 7
H Is a person a PTSD trigger (TW child loss) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
Lilly776 PTSD after rape TW Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 5
K How do you get over ptsd when what your scared of happening is really happening? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 8
E PTSD from MH treatment/hospitalisations Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
M COMPLEX PTSD ; support,advice,sympathy Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
R Recently found out I most probably have PTSD: looking for advice Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 9
D PTSD from abusive relationship? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 12
jajingna Book about PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
W PTSD after accident Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
P Living with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
E PTSD from hospital admissions? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 5
L PTSD from loss of Brother Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 9
R Need to understand my complex PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 10
carlita PTSD and emotional neglect Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 21
Bluejay7500 PTSD and anxiety discovery Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 70
P PTSD and abuse those who cared for you Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
S PTSD I Didn't Know I Had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
Tawny Getter Better - PTSD and CPTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 14
T Trying to deal with a roommate that has PTSD and other issues. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 8
angel1982 prazosin for PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
B Helping someone with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 6
K Can long term PTSD lead to psychosis/schizophrenia Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 7
J Could this be PTSD? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
Z Is this PTSD? Petty problem, but still.. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
U is this PTSD? **** trigger warnings, abuse described **** Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
P Is it PTSD, or something else? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
S Is this part of PTSD? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
O PTSD and blocking most events out Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 5
S Support with Partner Who Seems to Be Struggling with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
fireandairo TW Ptsd emotional and drug abuse Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
C PTSD cheating/physical abuse.. partner doesn’t support me.. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
K I have OCD and PTSD, a recent guy on the internet is triggering me to have bad panic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
C How long does PTSD last? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
O PTSD and feeling “fake” or “dead”? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3
M Feeling guilty for being diagnosed with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
lizard56 Do I have PTSD? Please help! Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
9 PTSD Suffocating ***TRIGGER - Discusses abuse *** Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 10
Keesha Mind-Body Workbook for PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 1
micas Do I have PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
B PTSD because of traumatic psychiatric hospital experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 13
H Past relationship and ptsd Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 8
A Alcohol anaesthetised PTSD... Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
S Is this PTSD or just trauma? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 4
S PTSD from emotionally abusive relationship...do I leave now things are getting better? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 26
B What is considered a traumatic event to be considered PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 5
P Told dont need ptsd, agoraphobia diagnosis because autism diagnosis. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 9
L Negative criticism PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 2
B Depakine, olanzapine for ptsd Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum 3

Similar threads

Top