PTSD and depersonalization

Amorerose

Amorerose

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Joined
Jun 25, 2019
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83
Location
New Hampshire
#1
Hello,

I had a diagnosis last summer of PTSD with depersonalization symptoms. I am going to find a new therapist to get a final diagnosis and a second opinion. I was wondering if anyone could relate to some things that I do, that has been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder.

When I was a kid I played that house game, like many other children. It just never went away for me and when I got into my tween years, I was take from school and left very isolated (neglected/emotional abuse) and I would pretend to be characters. I had three set characters (plus the side characters- it was very detailed) and still remember their names now. But I would also pretend to be animals. It usually involved me having magical powers. This then led me to pretend that a movie character or anyone that I liked was watching me. I knew it wasn't real though.

I finally stopped pretending to be made up characters when I was 17 years old. I have not acted out other characters since then, except for my occasional regression into child-like tendencies. I am a little (bdsm).

Now I go to school and work full-time. Everything is going well, mostly but I still find myself pretending that certain people are watching me. I will pick a spot in the room and imagine them sitting there watching me. It helps me feel less alone but I realize that it sounds crazy and I do not tell anyone about this.

Can anyone here relate to this? I find myself trying to understand why I do this and if anyone else does it or anything similar.

Thank you,
Rose
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
Hello Rose. I think a lot of people play roles in their lives which involve pretending to be someone else. Its a "fake it till you make it" sort of game. But I realise that you are much worse than that and I am not belittling your experiences.

I don't share your experiences but I can understand where you are coming from. [email protected] not much help but I thought it would be good to reply to you. I am pleased you have a therapist to work things through with you.
 
Amorerose

Amorerose

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Joined
Jun 25, 2019
Messages
83
Location
New Hampshire
#3
Thanks calypso. I'm actually not seeing a therapist at the moment. I am going to find one but so far, I have had two that did not work for me. I think I just need someone very experienced. lol I'm doing good though, well better then I have been in a long time.