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Ptsd after natural disaster

J

ji_11

Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Bahamas
So I have ptsd from a natural disaster, where I lost everything, was technically homeless, put on the news against my will, just a horrible time I never for-saw myself going through. Though I've had mental illness passed down to me it was mostly manageable and I lived quite an easy life.

It's been 7 months and I remember an object I lost every day still. I have ocd so I hoarded quite a bit as a teen so physical items were very important to me to say the least. Not only did I lose all of that but photos/videos as well. I feel like my childhood memories are slipping away from me. Whenever I think about that I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and that I'm only delaying the inevitable by holding it in. My childhood was the best time, I've had issues being stuck there in my mind like I never should've gotten older. I used to age regress a bit as a teen, so basically those times are really important to me.

I've gotten a little delusional as well thinking this wasn't how my life was supposed to go, that I'll wake up and be in my old home. That I made too many wrong decisions that took me to an alternate universe and I want to go back.

I feel like I now have the symptoms of numerous other illnesses when before it was only social anxiety and ocd. Now I disassociate, I'm impatient and impulsive, will break into a sob out of the blue and surprise myself, how is this supposed to end when every day I'm reminded of it.

Idk what I'm asking for, I just don't want to go through a nervous breakdown like my family members have but I feel like its inevitable since I pushed down any emotions when it first happened. But idk if that's truly how it works.
 
N

NoOne5

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
1,551
Location
USA
I'm sorry about this. I hope you get better. :hug:
 
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