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Psychotic Experiences - interested

T

Twylight

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as painfull as it might be i'd like to hear about your psychotic experiences

I heard about some from people i've met in hospital and kept in touch with.

They all say: ' i thought this ' - or 'that', it is most definitly an illness of the thoughts.

Some of the things ' I thought ', is linked to things I saw and heard throughout my whole life

I know this because time has allowed me to watch old films and music and i've picked up on the morals and principles portrayed

All my psychosises contain bits and peices of things that made an impression on me in my earlier life - which i'd consciously forgotten.
 
S

schizolanza

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I thought that people on the ward were my old neighbours where I used to live years ago.
I thought that I was going to be killed by a Jewish patient because of my interest in David Icke.
I thought that people were God out to punnish me for abandoning my Christian faith.
I thought I was being set up by everyone and that I was going to end up in hospital forever.
I had some belongings in a supermarket 'bag for life' which I became very paranoid about the bag.
These are just the things I can remember.
 
S

schizolanza

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Since then I've been having strange dreams.My mind is still trying to fit things together to make sense of it all.
I remember on the way to hospital I thought people in passing cars were trying to communicate with me.There was one car at the side of the road with it's hazard warning lights on.There were a group of men standing by the car.I was convinced that they wanted to talk to me and begged the driver to stop.Crazy stuff like that.
 
S

schizolanza

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After I got out of hospital (i lied to get out) I started secretly recording peoples conversations with me so that the police would be able to find out who murdered me.
I stopped doing that a long time ago.
 
S

schizolanza

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I smoked a lot of weed before I became unwell.I think that what people don't understand is that cannabis is a plant not a drug.Each cannabis plant is a concoction (spelling?) of drugs, not a single drug.
I've found a variety of cannabis which I find beneficial to my mental health.Some cannabis actually contains an antipsychotic.
The particular type of cannabis which harmed me was a sativa variety which is very high in THC.I know to avoid it now.
I also experimented with entheogens such as salvia and mushrooms.These had a effect on my life which I find very hard to explain.I became very acutely aware of how what I took into my body had an effect on the way I behaved.I stopped drinking tea and coffee.I became a vegetarian for 6 months.
I felt that I had psychic abilities which I hadn't had access to before.One day at work a woman was explaining to me that her son had started work as an apprentice at a printing firm.I asked how he trabvelled to work.She explained that he rode his bike.I blurted out that the road which he used was very dangerous for a cyclist.She seemed annoyed and I felt like I shouldn't have said anything.Afew weeks later her son was killed by a van on that road.
She never returned to work.
I became very confused about the incident.I quit my job and became very reclusive.I spent months studying music and smoking weed.Then I had my breakdown.
 
A

Apotheosis

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It is true that there are chemical elements in "weed" which can act as anti psychotics; I once researched the subject in some depth. I can't be bothered looking all the articles up again.

Some of my experiences have been very similar to your own Olanza. This is the thing. I do not believe that these states are meaningless nonsense - altered states; yes they are; mental illness? well yes again; but there is far more to it than simple delirium.
 
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schizolanza

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I don't think the experience is meaningless either.There has been no attempt by anyone to fit the pieces together,or understand why I had the psychosis.

I was told to take my medication,and stay off cannabis and reading controversial stuff like David Icke.

My only hope is that something positive will come out of all this,somehow.
 
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schizolanza

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Would you like to share something of your psychotic experiences Danage?If I remember correctly religion is a major theme with you?
 
D

Danage

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My experience.

Would you like to share something of your psychotic experiences Danage?If I remember correctly religion is a major theme with you?
Yes it is olanza. Well remembered.

My psychotic experiences are a bit complex. They revolve around several ideas in my head.

The psychosis had some of its beginnings back in December 1999, when I decided to write a story in my head. In November 2006 this story came to life, and my alter ego's wife (who I shot for treason) and second son (who I couldn't bring myself to shoot) told me to convert to Biblical Unitarian (they believe the Father is G-d alone) Christianity, despite the fact I had Jewish beliefs since December 2005 (although from October to December 2005 I had Biblical Unitarian beliefs, although unknowingly).

My psychosis began in November 2006 and began with visions. Voices began a year later, and thought invasion began in November 2006 as well (although the psychiatrist does not know this).

When I converted to Judeao-Christianity (Biblical Unitarian with the belief in Jesus being pre-existent) because of my voices in November 2007 my visions, voices and thought invasion ended.

As the year 2008 went on visions, voices and thought invasion returned at various occasions. In the summer (I can't remember exactly when) I was declared a prophet by my son, and had that 'prophethood' revoked in a week. In December last year I abandoned Biblical Unitarianism, because it was not what I believed, and adopted Liberal Jewish beliefs. My second son, who had time-travelled to save his mother back in January 2008, was outraged, as he and his family were Karaite (Torah-only) Jews.

My belief on what my psychosis was was that it was the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and my son from a parallel universe far in the future. My son from a parallel universe sits most comfortably with me now, especially sine I am no longer a Christian.

I hope I have made myself understandable.
 
T

Twylight

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Yes, perfectly understandable

I read " the Hobbit ', in between my first and second breakdown and the second psychosis was very ' Magical'.
 
T

Twylight

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Yes, it has No limits - everything in your memory and everything in your imagination - beyond terrifying...
 
D

Danage

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Yes, it has No limits - everything in your memory and everything in your imagination - beyond terrifying...
Yes, it can be terrifying. My son is from a universe that once suffered a nuclear holocaust of Humanity's home planets, all five races of Man suffered the same holocaust, because of a war between the various factions of Christendom and Christianity. This nuclear holocaust was averted by time-travel, and now their universe's Earth is suffering a massive 5% global economic recession.
 
D

Danja

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My psychotic experience was I thought that most people were laughing at me.

I also believe that psychosis is caused by previous events. My psychotic experience seemed to be based on a fear that I have of people.
 
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