psychotic episodes

[thedreamswehad]

I have been told I fit the criteria for borderline personality disorder, but cannot yet be diagnosed with it because I'm not 18. I have been on anti-psychotics for 3 years now which have helped massively, but I still have psychotic episodes.

Today was my last episode I was in a supermarket car park when I suddenly felt overwhelmed it feels like I'm not me and my vision of the world is distorted and confusing. I started screaming, crying, running around and falling over trying to find my way out of the car park but I couldn't because I was too confused. Thankfully my boyfriend was with me and he helped me as much as he could and helped me get home when I was less erratic because if I were on my own I would not have made it home. Last time I had a episode when I was alone I was arrested under the mental health act.

Does anyone else experience similar episodes? I know no one will probably know the answer but I'll ask anyway, how do i make these episodes stop? Also I don't seem to feel psychical pain during episodes, often I hurt myself deliberately or by falling over but it doesn't cause me any pain, I still feel it happen it just doesn't hurt. It's also the same with feeling the cold, I once ran outside at 1am on a freezing January night in just a vest and shorts but I didn't feel the cold at all, I actually felt very warm.

Its so frustrating, as I've left my college course because of these episodes and my first job I lost within a week because I had an episode at work. I feel like there is no hope for me to lead a normal life.

Thanks if you did read all of this, I try to make my posts as short as possible

 

[iffybob]

Hi .... They wont give you a PD diagnosis of any type until you are an adult, ( what ever that means ), that is because the condition does not stabalise ( wrong word but the best I got ), until then, you may not get a definitive lable till you are 25 or more, that is just the system, it does not alter what you feel, and does not make it incorrect.

The reson you do not feel cold or pain when you are having an episode is bacause your body is full of adrenalin, this blocks the reaction to sensation, it is ment as a survival mechanisum,it is activatated cos of the fear you feel, keep a glucose drink with you , Lucasade or better one of the isotonic sports drinks "with glucose", the adrenalin rips the sugar out of your bodies blood stream, and it will help replace it, and you will be able to think a little clearer, rember to try and breath , all the way in , all the way out, slowly, I know this sounds a lot and you will only start to do it once you are comming through, but it does help it not last as long.

If you do feel one comming on, take a drink of the glucose, or things like polos, any of the kids sweets that are high in sugar, you only need about 2 polos.

Glad you got a BF that tries to understand and help you.

 

[Apotheosis]

It's very hard to not react with a fear reaction to these states, especially when younger.

However - as I have got older, I don't react in the same ways; I sit with what I am feeling. The last 3 severe psychotic breakdowns I had - which were the worst ones in my life (last one lasted around 4 months, no sleep for over 10 days, blackouts, severe paranoia, extreme hallucinations & delusions); I was never sectioned. Largely because I didn't act out on anything that I was feeling & experiencing - I just sat there.

If I get very extreme emotions, paranoia, fears & all the rest; the most I will do is to argue with certain people. Sometimes I can bring myself down, by practising calming techniques, & being very easy on myself.

I suppose that is progress.

 

[thedreamswehad]

Hi .... They wont give you a PD diagnosis of any type until you are an adult, ( what ever that means ), that is because the condition does not stabalise ( wrong word but the best I got ), until then, you may not get a definitive lable till you are 25 or more, that is just the system, it does not alter what you feel, and does not make it incorrect.

The reson you do not feel cold or pain when you are having an episode is bacause your body is full of adrenalin, this blocks the reaction to sensation, it is ment as a survival mechanisum,it is activatated cos of the fear you feel, keep a glucose drink with you , Lucasade or better one of the isotonic sports drinks "with glucose", the adrenalin rips the sugar out of your bodies blood stream, and it will help replace it, and you will be able to think a little clearer, rember to try and breath , all the way in , all the way out, slowly, I know this sounds a lot and you will only start to do it once you are comming through, but it does help it not last as long.

If you do feel one comming on, take a drink of the glucose, or things like polos, any of the kids sweets that are high in sugar, you only need about 2 polos.

Glad you got a BF that tries to understand and help you.

Thank you, I will try slow breathing next time I feel one coming on and make sure I've got some polos handy.

 

[thedreamswehad]

It's very hard to not react with a fear reaction to these states, especially when younger.

However - as I have got older, I don't react in the same ways; I sit with what I am feeling. The last 3 severe psychotic breakdowns I had - which were the worst ones in my life (last one lasted around 4 months, no sleep for over 10 days, blackouts, severe paranoia, extreme hallucinations & delusions); I was never sectioned. Largely because I didn't act out on anything that I was feeling & experiencing - I just sat there.

If I get very extreme emotions, paranoia, fears & all the rest; the most I will do is to argue with certain people. Sometimes I can bring myself down, by practising calming techniques, & being very easy on myself.

I suppose that is progress.

It's extremely difficult to not react, but there's been times I have 'sat' with what I'm feeling although it was very hard. I have been using calming techniques for a couple of weeks now, mainly a strange one my psychologist showed me that involves staring at an object you wouldn't normally take much notice of (the last item I used was a tea bag).

 

[iffybob]

pratice

These things take practice, also it is what works for you.

For me it is sparkly things, glass stuff I have a collection, but also stuff like cloudes if you are out, even lights ( car lights, florestent signs, esp in rain ).

When I have to go out on my own I always have the MP3 player on, to try and block out the stuff around me, and change the track if I can feel the music is not right, just trying to decide what you want to listern to can provide enough of a distraction.

 

[thedreamswehad]

Yeah, I'm still trying to find what works best for me as you said it's different for everyone. I like the idea of sparkly things I will have to buy some

 

[Apotheosis]

Crystals are good. I have some fine examples.

 

[iffybob]

cheep

I get most of my stuff from charity shops, they have old glass varses and stuff in there, if it is your thing , it will jump out at you, even if it is dirty, take the poor thing home clean it up, ( sugar soap is good for this, can get it from wilco's, dont use hot water, just warm), then enjoy your new sparkly thing.

Hold it up to a light or sunlight even better.

( cant tell it gives me a buzz can you )

There are some I just have to leave though, or keep them in a cuboard, or I would spend all day lost in the pritty..............

 

[Apotheosis]

Bought a lead crystal candle holder - it's big, & heavy, perfect condition - 50p from charity shop.

 

[thedreamswehad]

I've got quite a few charity shops close to my house, I will have to have a look.

I love getting lost in something, it takes my mind off whatever is going on in my life and puts things into perspective.

 

[iffybob]

Bought a lead crystal candle holder - it's big, & heavy, perfect condition - 50p from charity shop.

Ok - jelouse ( an I dont even know how to spell it )

round here they want sooo much for lead crystal, even parts, I am trying to get back into making mobiles, and would like to use lead crystal, I have made them before, but at the mo coping and catching up with everyday stuff is not letting me.

The mobiles I made were soo, cool used to get lost in them for hours on a sunny day, sold or gave them away, but I want to get some more done, have to put them away from cats though, they go nuts with them and trash um.

 

[Apotheosis]

I am going to build a wooden boat kit, one with all the individual planks & rigging - ornament. But haven't had the time as yet.

I recently gave away 2 old lead crystal chandeliers (over 50 years old)- they were in pieces; & couldn't be bothered reassembling them. They would have made good pieces for mobiles.

Dream catchers are good to make & quite simple.

http://www.nativetech.org/dreamcat/dreminst.html

 

[iffybob]

hobbies

Just a thought, I like makin mobiles but there is other stuff.

Here's a couple of links for jewelry beads.

http://www.jenecabeads.com/beads
http://www.bellysbride.co.uk

there are some tutorials on the net, keyword "beadweaving", and some books, even if you just thread the ones you like on strings and hang them up, you can pick up cheep fishing line in pound shops which is plenty good for that job.

If its not your thing ok.

 

[jamesdean]

This is a very interseting thread because exactly whot do you do for distaraction n these crystals seem such a good idea,because I have been through episodeswhilstin a roomof people @meetinga etc and right back to my childhood whilst others would be playing in the play ground etc my head would be no where near e where they were @ n people would laugh @ me because I would answer a question asked say 20minutes before when clearly they had moved on loads n this was said to me a lot but I just didnt understand it then n then in my younger adult life a good friend of mine says I would just give such a blank expression when other would be rollng on the floor,I watched a familyof asperghers syndrome talk the other day n thought I wonder not that I'm looking for anymore diagnosis if perhaps its similar they said you dont understand the rules n then when you do you dont know how to brake them or use them,confusion has been a big part of my life because I've never really understood mh until these last few years that I've been on decent meds,its like has if I were a sleep to the real world all these years,similar to decent pain relief 15 yeras it took me to get whot I really needed,I carnt image how it is still for somepeople that are still not getting meds that they need because its sole distroying to be out of your mind all the time,I wouldlove to be able to wright a book but like I was thinking yesterday its all down to ticking boxes in this world n if you just dont tick the box it aint gonna happen.I honestly have had a terriablelife really because though people say I'm quite articulate at filling out forms I dont seem to have a stronger deep voice that anyone listens to me, I have meet a girl this last six months whom I have been able to tell so much to about my life she isnt scarred she says if she doesnt understand we go backover things she understands whot I'm sayingfor the future she is so comfortable with me she doesnt make me feel second best or that I am vile n only fit for the trash bin like others have made me feel belittling me n making me feel like a piece of shit on the floor,tell me she wasnt god sent and Imightjust be getting somewhere still its a slow progression n only yesterday with communication with the cmht team they just dont know how to talk to people.

Not sure why I choose this thread to say all that might of been best in my blog excuse me JD