psychosis and agression, diagnosed as bipolar

Sadkittygirl1928

Sadkittygirl1928

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Apr 4, 2019
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#1
I have another mental health diagnosis as well, but for some reason, I just can't except this one. I am so scared and angry I dont know what to do, Im medicated and I dont want to be. In the past I got very aggressive and went into a psychosis, it was thought to be meds now people are saying its bipolar I am so scared that I could hurt someone again if thats the case. I think mental health medication has fried my brain.I also gained 100 lbs in one year I use to be skinny I cant stand this Im thinking id be better off dead. I have been meditatiing every day for 28 days streight, going to the gym, increasing water. nothing stops the mood shifts and I just cant do this the thought of becoming violent or killing someone/"snapping" keeps playing in my head. I dont want to, I just think, what if I went into psychosis and didnt know what I was doing or had no control(that happend once I tried to stab my bf and would attack him daily in black outrage and its unlike me and came out of nowere, it started as mania tho)
 
daffy

daffy

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#2
Hi sad kitty It sounds as if the medication can’t be working for you. I would see my pdoc again to get a review. Have you tried any different medication. I’m sorry about the weight gain it’s an awful side effect of antipsychotics. I put loads of weight on and like you was thin before . I did lose most of the weight (although I’m still a stone overweight ) when I stopped taking them. I think they affect your metabolism .
 
E

eris emmerich

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May 4, 2019
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#3
I'm bipolar 1 and have gone through psychosis. Since I have mixed episodes, I know the place of low mood, hopelessness, anhedonia, violent ideations, restless impulsivity, irritability, etc. I fully know what it's like to be homicidal and suicidal, feeling every emotion at once and then nothing at all. I was a danger to myself and others. Getting the diagnosis of bipolar isn't necessarily the worst thing ever; it means these things are happening for biological reasons out of your control. It's just putting a name to an existing problem. Bipolar psychosis is a very real thing, and it fucking sucks.

I can't talk you into taking meds, and you might be right that they have done more harm than good up to this point. But this is likely because you aren't getting the right ones. Getting prescriptions to meds that won't help but will give you awful side effects is no fun at all. And then they say to increase the dose and give it more time, meanwhile, your mind is slipping further away. It took me a while to find a psychiatrist that finally said I had something other than depression. Since he did, I could get the meds that have actually helped, and I went from a place where I was on the verge of making a mistake that would send me to prison for life or kill me to a place where I'm able to go to college and work a part-time job. I'm on Lithium orotate (different than lithium carbonate, which is the standard for bipolar but can have some unwanted side effects) for the mania symptoms and Wellbutrin for the depression symptoms.

Please feel free to ask any questions about meds or symptoms.
 
embleton

embleton

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#4
I think as far as medication goes they are chosen rather randomly and its a bit of hit and miss, and sometimes to the point they just don't work. It's best to just keep trying the choices until something kind of works with psychiatric pills, then you get into the area of polypharmacology and that best done by the individual taking the stuff armed with a BNF.
 

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