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Psychosed

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Apotheosis

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I am feeling psychotic. I have had some kind of a bug, or viral infection. But now I am not so sure how much is physical unwellness, & how much it is mental illness? I have been under stress in my life - noisy neighbours - sleep deprivation; this bug, & escalating feelings of anxiety for the past month or two; which has recently been more like panic. I can't pin point when things started to go odd. It was around a month of two ago that I started get a lot of feelings of foreboding.

Yesterday I was very unwell - dizzy, sick, & very bad feelings & emotional stuff; it was like something went in my head - like an elastic band snapped; is the best way I can describe it. Not felt grounded at all, feelings of unreality, not in my body & very detached; dreamlike. My vision went last evening as well; it's like everything is slightly animated & alive, as if everything is slightly pulsating & luminous - a bit like an LSD or 'E' comedown.

The emotional stuff, & anxiety seems to come & go, with moments of feeling calm & quite contented. I did sleep well last night, & have felt a lot better today. So hopefully things will not escalate. I have got much better at dealing with certain symptoms over the years. & although it will take a while to feel better I think, I should be OK.

Just thought I would share this.
 
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diddypinks

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hi

i had flu the other week and all my symptoms got worse i was very paranois and panicky i think of it like this wwhen a small child has flu they cry and wimper and get very spaced out i dont think we are much different......just older
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
i had flu the other week and all my symptoms got worse i was very paranois and panicky i think of it like this wwhen a small child has flu they cry and wimper and get very spaced out i dont think we are much different......just older
Well, this is what I wonder; I have been sneezing a lot for ages, snuffles, aches, dodgy stomach; so maybe a lot of this has been a viral thing. & being sensitive to things; just accentuates the MH stuff.

I forgot just how physical things are when I feel pscyhosed. It isn't simply - in the head, it's actually an intensely physical experience.

But physical effects mental & vis versa - we are singular organisms. I find it less as less easy to distinguish the two.
 
Cal

Cal

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hope you start to feel better, i've lost touch with reality when i've had the flu before, not sure if that was because of the illness, mental problems or because i stayed in bed for days without talking to anyone (could have been all of the above), i was hallucinating and all sorts. Get well soon :D
 
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Apotheosis

Guest
Thanks Cal

I have been with people today, slept well last night, went for a long walk with a friend, & had a good meal out this evening, & overall I have felt better than I did yesterday. I had a friend ring me today; who has been concerned, & they want to meet up tomorrow, & another friend that wants to go for a long walk tomorrow too. So I am very grateful for the people I do have in my life, & the support they give. That is very important for me living alone.
 
Cal

Cal

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well it sounds like you've done all the best things :), having people around can be very helpful when you live alone, it can be hell without any real support (i know)
 
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Apotheosis

Guest
Yes Cal, we need as much support as we can get. I need some kind of human contact every day, or I start to get unwell. Usually every day I do have human contact; but sometimes I still spend too much time alone. I think that it can be very hard for people living with partners & families to really know what it is like to spend many years living alone.
 
schiz01

schiz01

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Friends are good.....I still haven't got to the point where I'm comfortable around people.I do enjoy being around people when I'm feeling well and my brain is working but if I'm feeling the slightest bit off , being around people only makes me worse and i am forced to retreat and be by myself.
Being sick physically really messes with my head also.
Maybe a walk and a bit of a break from everything will do you good......Hope you feel better soon....
 
intelgal

intelgal

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Take care Apo.. Lots of R and R

XX
 
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