• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Psychological factors and childhood trauma

bongozebedee

bongozebedee

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2013
Messages
50
Location
wales
Ok hi just putting this out there looking for some feedback.

I was diagnosd with para-schiz a lot of yrs ago and recently I have come off my meds and all kinds of emotions and memories are coming up.

When I was young maybe 4 or 5 my mother tried to kill herself violently and unfortunately I witnessed this. And I have just found out through my sister that after my birth my mother wanted to abandon me due to depression. My sisters words were "She tried to do you in", I don't trust everything my eldest sister says but there could be something in it. My father was over the top with discipline and came up to the bedroom one night with a cricket bat held high telling me and my older brothers to be quiet in a threatening manner. I was the youngest of 4 and was spared a lot of the violence but I witnessed him stick a steel afro comb in my brothers head and threaten one time to seriously harm him while holding him by the throat. When my brothers would argue my dads response was to throw them both out on the garden and make them fight, I was a small sensitive child and would cry out for him to stop these things.
He forced me to eat meat when I did not want to and flushed the cats kittens down the toilet laughing at my protest.

My mother treated me as though I was her psychiatrist and confided everything in me looking for solutions from me (a small child) for her problems. If she told me once she was going to commit suicide she told me a thousand times.
When I grew older and my brothers had left I tried to protect my mother all I could but whenever I came between her and my dad I was bullied or assaulted for example one time my dad come home from a football match and his team had lost so he took his football scarf off and put it on the cooker to burn. When I had extinguished the fire in the kitchen I walked into the front room just as my dad yelled at my mother "where's my f***ing tea" my mother went to the kitchen and brought him his tea on a tray as he took a sip of his tea he turned to my mother and said it's f***ing cold and threatened to throw the teapot at her I stepped in between and told my dad to not dare hurt my mother again to which he knocked 7 colours out of me head butting and kicking me then threw me out!

OK sorry I know it's a bit long and too much information for some and believe me I am not looking for any sympathy of any kind I am just wondering if these childhood traumas could have contributed to my later diagnosis,
And also if anyone knows the best method for recovery.

I want to be healed and then see if any paranoid and psychotic symptoms persist and remain.

Nah then! that's a heavy post. Sorry, but at the moment I just need to get things off my chest, I am not a whinger and I know much heavier shit goes on and is still going on for many but I need to resolve all this as fast as I can and try to live a wholesome fulfilling life.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,624
Yes for definite the trauma you went through will be affecting you now. Mine too wish I knew the answers, maybe it comes from acceptance? But how do we just accept?

Therapy and more therapy.

KS
 
porkpie

porkpie

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
433
Location
England
No you're not a whinger, not in the slightest bongozebedee....

I had a very abusive childhood, ironic thing is more in the care system then with my actual parents from which I was being protected from, they say that shit makes you stronger but one bottles all that shit up and you reach the point where one can't bottle that shit up anymore causing damage psychologically.
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 1, 2014
Messages
3,651
Location
here
Hi bongozebede, good you have opened up and i hope there will be a lot of support for you.
 
bongozebedee

bongozebedee

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2013
Messages
50
Location
wales
I really want to get into recovery but don't know how to do this. If there are any success stories please share or maybe this post could be moved to better suited thread if there is one. I want my life back!
 
BillFish

BillFish

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
2,388
Ok hi just putting this out there looking for some feedback.

I was diagnosd with para-schiz a lot of yrs ago and recently I have come off my meds and all kinds of emotions and memories are coming up.

When I was young maybe 4 or 5 my mother tried to kill herself violently and unfortunately I witnessed this. And I have just found out through my sister that after my birth my mother wanted to abandon me due to depression. My sisters words were "She tried to do you in", I don't trust everything my eldest sister says but there could be something in it. My father was over the top with discipline and came up to the bedroom one night with a cricket bat held high telling me and my older brothers to be quiet in a threatening manner. I was the youngest of 4 and was spared a lot of the violence but I witnessed him stick a steel afro comb in my brothers head and threaten one time to seriously harm him while holding him by the throat. When my brothers would argue my dads response was to throw them both out on the garden and make them fight, I was a small sensitive child and would cry out for him to stop these things.
He forced me to eat meat when I did not want to and flushed the cats kittens down the toilet laughing at my protest.

My mother treated me as though I was her psychiatrist and confided everything in me looking for solutions from me (a small child) for her problems. If she told me once she was going to commit suicide she told me a thousand times.
When I grew older and my brothers had left I tried to protect my mother all I could but whenever I came between her and my dad I was bullied or assaulted for example one time my dad come home from a football match and his team had lost so he took his football scarf off and put it on the cooker to burn. When I had extinguished the fire in the kitchen I walked into the front room just as my dad yelled at my mother "where's my f***ing tea" my mother went to the kitchen and brought him his tea on a tray as he took a sip of his tea he turned to my mother and said it's f***ing cold and threatened to throw the teapot at her I stepped in between and told my dad to not dare hurt my mother again to which he knocked 7 colours out of me head butting and kicking me then threw me out!

OK sorry I know it's a bit long and too much information for some and believe me I am not looking for any sympathy of any kind I am just wondering if these childhood traumas could have contributed to my later diagnosis,
And also if anyone knows the best method for recovery.

I want to be healed and then see if any paranoid and psychotic symptoms persist and remain.

Nah then! that's a heavy post. Sorry, but at the moment I just need to get things off my chest, I am not a whinger and I know much heavier shit goes on and is still going on for many but I need to resolve all this as fast as I can and try to live a wholesome fulfilling life.
Sorry mate, I don't do childhood, left school at 16, worked all the hours of light and more,getting up each day in the early hours, and many times working into the night, until I was exhausted each day.Then joined the paras at 17, was the baby of the troop amongst hardened veterans, was like being in a fucking biker gang, my childhood is long gone and forgotten, so forgive me if I'm too ignorant to make daisy chains with you.:peace:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
S Psychological glasses Schizophrenia Forum 3
S The Psychological pillow. Schizophrenia Forum 6
S The psychological glasses Schizophrenia Forum 3
F Are psychological therapies effective in treating schizophrenia and psychosis? Schizophrenia Forum 4
F The Stress of the Street for Patients With Persecutory Delusions: A Test of the Symptomatic and Psychological Effects of Going Outside Into a Busy Urb Schizophrenia Forum 2
cpuusage Psychological & Social Approaches. Schizophrenia Forum 1
lupinerainbow What happens at a psychological evaluation? Schizophrenia Forum 8
F Adverse Childhood Experiences among Men with Schizophrenia Schizophrenia Forum 14
F A History of Childhood Trauma and Response to Treatment With Antipsychotics in First-Episode Schizophrenia Patients: Preliminary Results Schizophrenia Forum 1
cpuusage Different Forms of Childhood Adversity Related to Specific Psychosis Symptoms Schizophrenia Forum 6
F Childhood psychiatric disorders linked to schizophrenia risk Schizophrenia Forum 1
F Social isolation in childhood and adult inflammation Schizophrenia Forum 30
cpuusage Severe abuse in childhood may treble risk of schizophrenia Schizophrenia Forum 12
F Childhood social functioning predicts schizophrenia risk Schizophrenia Forum 5
F Two new studies show genetic link between childhood and adult psychiatric disorders Schizophrenia Forum 3
F Childhood Infection Linked to Schizophrenia Schizophrenia Forum 1
cpuusage Early Intervention in Psychiatry Features Articles Linking Childhood Trauma and Psychosis Schizophrenia Forum 1
A Childhood Adversity, Not Genetics, Linked to Psychosis Schizophrenia Forum 14
F Childhood trauma common in schizophrenia, affective disorders Schizophrenia Forum 18
F Severe abuse in childhood may treble risk of schizophrenia Schizophrenia Forum 23

Similar threads

Top