Provoked an assault on myself?

Run Like Hell

Run Like Hell

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#1
Today I was assaulted in a very busy area of Manchester city centre.

I heard a young man of about 23 [I'm in my late 40s] using racist language during a phone conversation and told him I didn't want to hear it.
He threatened to knock me out but instead of backing away I started going on about CCTV. He walked away to get his bus and I shouted CCTV loudly, he then came back and punched me quite hard in the ribs several times. Even after this I was making camera signs to his face, I just didn't care.

I think subconsciously I just want someone to kill me. Either that or the extreme agitation I often feel in city centres [too many people, too many vehicles, too many bad mannered people, the relentless pace of life being too fast] just got the better of me.

Of course no one came to my aid, probably out of fear, but of course people seldom do - they're too concerned with themselves, perhaps secretly they garner a bit of schadenfreude from it. The indifference can be more humiliating than the actual assault.

I just think we live in a ruthless cold cruel hideous society and that to be depressed is normal, especially if you're a bit sensitive.
 
D

Dottyone

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#3
I hope your ok. Xx

I think their is a link to subconcious self harm manipulation from third partys.

Please take care of yourself.

Ive done this
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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#4
I hope you are ok. :hug:

I have done this sort of thing too, though no one has actually attacked me it has been a bit dodgy touch and go. Risky behaviour I guess.

Hope the CCTV does catch him as well. xx
 
Run Like Hell

Run Like Hell

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Joined
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#5
Thanks everyone.

I may go to A & E to have a talk with the mental health worker there, I've done this before when in crisis and it was a great help. Funnily enough almost exactly two years ago.
I clearly cannot go on like this, I'm clearly losing perspective, I'm going to end up seriously injured or worse.


This life is so so so painful. :low:
 
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