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pro recovery post - you are not alone

  • Thread starter likesilencebutnotreallysilent
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likesilencebutnotreallysilent

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2020
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10
Location
Columbus, Ohio
Just wanted to post this to remind anyone who feels they are in their darkest moment that recovery isn't impossible, even if your instincts trick you into thinking it is. I am currently over 6 months clean. It is a long, difficult, painful process, and it isn't linear. Relapses (or "setbacks" as my boyfriend likes to call them instead) are part of it too. But the most important thing is that you are not alone. My self harm was driven by a deep loneliness. Even though all I wanted was to be closer to my loved ones again, self harm has a habit of pushing you away from everyone and everything. My depression completely took over my life for 6 years and I never saw a way out. But my life has turned completely on its head in the past year. Part of it is therapy, part of it is medication, part of it is being brutally honest with myself for the first time. But the most powerful driving force behind my recovery is love. I love rivers, I love honeybees, I love my mother, I love the moon, I love bright colors, I love sand in between my toes, I love breathing clean air, I love my boyfriend, I love hardwood floors, I love planting flowers, I love my body for keeping me alive. Those are hard things to say. Hard things to feel, when you're depressed. But as my depression lifted with treatment I realised there are so many things about being alive that I want to feel and experience and love, the way that the people who helped me recover love me. If I killed myself, if I kept hurting myself the way I wanted or felt I needed to, I would miss so much. So much would miss me. I was never alone.
And you aren't either. I understand in my core how much it hurts to feel like you're better off dead. I know this sounds corny and maybe you didn't read the whole thing and that's okay too. But you deserve to live. You deserve to love your body and to be gentle with yourself. You are not alone even in your worst moments, and recovery is possible. I promise.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
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May 25, 2020
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6,927
Location
England
I am so happy to hear about how well you are doing. You have worked so hard on yourself so well done. Thank you for sharing this.
 
TheSadnessWillLastForever

TheSadnessWillLastForever

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Joined
Oct 28, 2019
Messages
51
Location
Ohio
This is beautiful, thank you❤
 
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