• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Pregnant with BPD

L

Lilipad

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2020
Messages
1
Location
California
Hi all,

This is my first time posting. I was looking to get some advice from anybody who may of been pregnant and dealing with their BPD. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant, and so far I’ve been mainly in survival mode during the pregnancies.

I’ve had a few really bad episodes, early on in the pregnancy where I have self harmed, which obviously led to a tonne of guilt and shame. Since then, I haven’t self harmed in around 2-3 months now, which is something I’m super proud of. More recently I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed, and anxious and have been having thoughts of self harm and suicide. Whilst I know that I wouldn’t kill myself or my child, I’m filled with shame about even having these thoughts!

Has anybody got any good tips/distractions when you get to this point? Any advice is really appreciated.
 
Delilah67

Delilah67

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
109
Location
Herefordshire
Congratulations!
I presume you have support from your midwife ? As an (ex )midwife I would be making sure you get all the support you need during this vulnerable time.
I’m not sure what you get in the USA?
Lots of women are naturally anxious about being a parent, and of course sleepless nights and hormones make this
a potentially challenging period.
All of this is made easier if you have lots of support and remain open and honest with your care givers. If you find it difficult, talk! If you self harm : talk!
it sounds like you have done wonderfully well so far... so pat on the back!
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
5,083
Location
England
Hello Lillipad. Welcome to the forum. I do not have any advice but hopefully somebody will post soon who does.
 
Delilah67

Delilah67

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
109
Location
Herefordshire
I have 5 children (ages range from 31 to 12!) I have only recently been diagnosed with bpd so went for all those years struggling not knowing why I felt so bad.
still I did get plenty of support.
 
Riah3

Riah3

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
109
Location
Texas
Hey everyone, just to share my experience. I found out I had bpd this year once my son was about 5 months old. It was very hard for me at first but I am going to therapy and he's my Motivation to get therapy. my plan was to get healed before he gets old enough to even know. So far, ive been improving mentally gaining more self awareness.

I am doing much better but right now but at first I was at a very dark place. I cried pretty much all day for months, I recall sitting down on the toilet as tears pooled at my feet countless times. and just not wanting to be here. I was suicidal and felt so bad for my son to have me as his mom I thought he deserved better. after his birth I was dealing with depression and anxiety (unrelated to him) so it was just very bad. I didn't feel much of anything besides dread, every now and then I would get high so I could feel all of the feelings actual moms feel... I only felt that for a few hours at a time not very often but now I feel that 24/7!

But overall what helped me survive during this time was my mom coming to the rescue to watch my son when I was too emotionally broken, my boyfriend was very helpful serving as the only parent at times bc I was so broken. But as time went on, I continued therapy and slowly started to be happier and right now im pretty much the sole nurturing and provider of my child, father is still in the picture but he went back to work now that im doing better.

For me it was very be helpful to gain more self awareness, see other moms, use this forum, and go to therpay. I think parents with bpd can be great parents im very empathetic and I like to be helpful in my relationships.

My mom has bpd herself and now that im getting healthier it is much more difficult to deal with her. she's very triggering to me and has almost 0 self awareness, also highly highly. sensitive more than I am, she's over controlling and these are things im now able to see now that I feel like my Brain isn't so overworked I feel I can think clearly. I didn't even realize I myself was this way until self awareness was gained. I dont want to be my mom so I strive to do the opposite of what she would do and that helps give me a model kind of of what not to do.

I also told her I believe she has bpd so she can try to improve her life and not lose everyone around her. She said she's fine and she wonders sometimes if she has it too but just doesn't ponder on it, also says she doesn't need therapy. side note, over the years I watched her destroy each and every friendship and family relationship. she really doesn't have anyone and I also dont want that to be me. its helpful in a way to have a parent with bpd as well bc it helps u gain more self awareness, when I see my mom doing certain things or behave a way that I do but didn't realize, its like looking in a mirror, I think oh gosh this is how I come off to ppl and I try to change it. this was all over the place im sorry but I hope it helps you. and im here for you!
 
Top