• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Pre-outbreak symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia

S

sajnis

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2010
Messages
9
Location
over the rainbow
Hi.

Since I've started worrying about potentially being schizophrenic, I'd really like to hear if any of you noticed anything weird about yourself in the months/weeks before your first psychotic episode?

And if you didn't notice, have any of your friends said you behaved weird?

Before you became psychotic, did you feel weird? Notice strange smells? Grow increasingly paranoid?..
I've never had an episode. I'm not 100% sure I will. But I've noticed these weird symptoms..
Also, I've heard that before someone hear voices, they'd notice a sort of whisper just beyond the range of hearing..

Thanks,
Sajnis.
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
Personally - when I have gone into a highly psychotic state - it happens very quickly; one minute I'm sort of coping - next my mind is gone. But there does appear to be things that have felt different leading up to such an episode; increased sensitivity to things (heightened senses), loss of reality (things seem unreal), & feeling detached from them, increased amounts of stress; & increased difficulty coping with stress, difficulty coping with things in general, increased worry, anxiety & paranoid thinking. Strange physical sensations; which are hard to describe, but like feeling physically ill or poisoned in some way. Confused thinking; questioning things, & being unsure of self, often wildly fluctuating emotions & feelings. Inability to focus on things properly, like trains of thought, & what people are saying.

There appears an odd awareness of self, of the physical body & the mind - like it is out of sync, or has shifted into a different state of being. A bit like a light headedness or dizziness.

Often there is bizarre visual disturbances, like things appearing less solid, somehow less substantial, like they are a bit see through, or lighted from within; things take on a strange other worldly quality, somewhat like physical objects are 'alive' in some way.

Hard to describe.
 
Last edited:
S

sajnis

Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2010
Messages
9
Location
over the rainbow
Is it possible to reconize the symptoms as psychosis, or does psychosis itself make it completely impossible to see it's fake?

It's a bit worrying that it could happen that drastically..
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
As time has gone on I've got better at being able to recognise certain signs & triggers. A relapse signature if you like. I've been noticing myself getting unwell recently; so I'm doing things to address it; by doing my best to look after myself, good food, rest & relaxation, avoid too much stress, talk openly with people about how I feel, & about what I'm thinking.

Certain things do seem to be unhealthy for people who are prone to psychosis. So I try & stay away from those things.

I've been through 7 major psychotic episodes in the past; ending up 4 times in psychiatric hospital; & the other times getting into some very dire situations. During all of these episodes there was no insight; there was no part of me that questioned or knew that the main things I was experiencing was psychosis. That does appear to be the nature of these states for me, I believe that I am totally sane when in these severe states of mind. In coming through a deeply psychotic state, is when I can challenge things; start to question things, & see that I have been mad. I suppose that I am lucky that I can, & have been able to come out of such extreme states, to the degree that I have done.

The truly mad believe that they are sane, & I would personally question what someone was experiencing if they had insight into a full blown psychotic state, but I may be wrong. The last time I was very unwell with psychosis; there is no way that I could have even turned on & used a computer; let alone have got to a stage of discussing my mental state on-line. I was incoherent, hallucinating wildly, having black outs (not drink/drug related), & semi catatonic. I've had long conversations with other people in psychosis - they don't know their psychotic - i suppose that is the nature of it.

Meds have played a role in things with me. I take a small dose of an anti-psychotic med. It does appear to generally keep me on a level, & prevent me from becoming badly psychosed. It's a complex issue for me though. Meds appear to work by suppressing symptoms & sedating brain function; that can be seen as both a good & bad thing.
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
or does psychosis itself make it completely impossible to see it's fake?
I hope I answered your question. I'm not sure that it is 'fake' - it's real & happening at the time - it is real for the person experiencing it, very real in fact.

There are many perspectives that take into account the view that these states are reflections of very real psychological or pscyhospiritual/trans-personal processes & mechanisms. That these states are meaningful & valid. My experiences of 'psychosis' & madness have been some of the most intense & 'real' things I have experienced. Yes these things are at an extreme end of the emotional & mental spectrum - But as valid IMO as any other emotional/mental states. We do not after all question the validity of someone's grief after the death of a loved one (for example). But many emotional & mental states are categorised as either being valid; & others invalid, or pathological. Are such distinctions that definite?

The question as to their validity is not with the person experiencing them on a subjective level - they are experiencing these things! - it's the question as to whether such things are objectively true - or where the truth is in such experiences. The general consensus of society & the orthodox bio-medical model is that these psychotic states are meaningless nonsense - illness - disease; but such a consensus, paradigm, & understanding, is not the only one there is.

It's a bit worrying that it could happen that drastically..
Severe 'mental illness' can be truly horrific & terrifying. The first time I experienced psychosis; I could not have conceived of a more frightening experience. These MH conditions in their severest forms are no game or walk in the park.
 
R

rasselas

Guest
...

I agree with pretty all of what apotheosis has said there, although of course psychosis varies - its as boundless as the imagination.

Some people it can creep up on them, some people it can be very sudden. When I was younger, there was no internet, and this one time in my 20s I'd spend hour after hour after hour in libraries looking for answers to the weird stuff that was happening - i looked only briefly at dsm and dismissed it - it made me shudder for a second but I was REASONING, I suppose, lacking insight, however - that term is mildly condescending in the way it is used - one of the the common features of a full-blown psychosis is that you feel you are very near to or have attained some absolutely fundamental insight - its just a struggle to share this with any other individual. Ie, they dismiss it out of hand. Without rambling on - or trying not to - a psychosis will take you to a different reality, even as apotheosis says, within which everything is subtly or sometimes dramatically altered. It can be frightening exhilherating upsetting elating, all in an hour.

For someone in psychosis there is a prescribed insight: it is psychiatry. For all my beliefs and feelings about psychiatry it's true that they have become very efficient at quietening a psychosis down. And so have shamans, priests, psychologists - but that's a different ballgame.

If you read a lot about illness syndromes you'll get that internet hypochondria syndrome. The controversy of the DSM is that it is so broad and general that anyone can find a syndrome in it, an on different days theyll be showing early onset psyvhosis, on another a manic high, on another social anxiety....
 
Last edited:
A

Apotheosis

Guest
one of the the common features of a full-blown psychosis is that you feel you are very near to or have attained some absolutely fundamental insight - its just a struggle to share this with any other individual. Ie, they dismiss it out of hand. Without rambling on - or trying not to - a psychosis will take you to a different reality, even as apotheosis says, within which everything is subtly or sometimes dramatically altered. It can be frightening exhilherating upsetting elating, all in an hour.
From being convinced that I was the incarnation of the creator of the Universe; to realising I knew the meaning of life; & at other times knowing I was the Devil, & for 5 minutes sat on the toilet in the nut house having the realisation that I was Christ - How do you impart such experiences to others?

Like you say - to go from feeling as if you are in heaven, to the gates of hades opening up a few minutes later.

although of course psychosis varies - its as boundless as the imagination.
The 'Inner' universe is as massive as the 'outer' one.
 
T

Twylight

Guest
I said to a mate recently:

'Paranoid schizophrenia is more terrifying than flaming hell '

but he couldn't understand
 
R

rasselas

Guest
...

I said to a mate recently:

'Paranoid schizophrenia is more terrifying than flaming hell '

but he couldn't understand
maybe he thought you were implying you'd been to flaming hell.

:clap::clap::clap:
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
[YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/f4zV4pJ8MwM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/f4zV4pJ8MwM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]​
 
Last edited:
R

rasselas

Guest
...

Twylight I hope you didnt take offence by that.

I think all of these 'illness' patterns are really just nodes on the spectrum of human experience.

near enough everyone experiences the symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia, it's simply a matter of degrees.

imagination-1.jpg

I have always maintained that psychosis is a crisis of the imagination. of course, the human imagination, as a 'thing', is so abstract to our understanding of the brain and mind, that it rarely gets a mention. and yet the neurotic dreams of the 'sane' can so often mirror the waking surreal lives of the psychotic. and even in psychosis, a dream can gift you with a tranquil alternate, from which you wake wishing to return.




but of course, imagination is a high functioning process. no amount of synaptic fiddling can reveal it.

it amused me recently when the newspaper headlines were saying, Pofessor X says he'll make conscious machine-mind within 10 years.

metropolis025.jpg

the many articles i read on this in a variety of newspapers and magazines all seemed to be pissing themselves with the overexcited idea of revealing once and for all every secret of the human consciousness that has been hidden from us for all time.

this was a low level mass psychosis, which thankfully rippled away quite rapidly once everyone had calmed down and realised one vital point:

042_pics.jpg

the creation of a consciousness - even if it was accurately incarnated from an exact mechanical mirror of the human brain - would not reveal consciousness. it would create one which would be as indecipherable to us as it would be to itself.

elsa-lanchester-bride-of-frankenstein-c10102251.jpg

if the reverse were true, we'd be able to reveal consciousness to each other, as we all have one. yet we can't. human beings are essentially locked out from each others' consciousness.

of course, emotions, passions, longings and 'chemistry' etc are forms of connections - all abstract, all from consciousness, or an exchange from one consciousness to another. only ever explorable in art.

munchvampire.jpg

science of the mind, when tasked to go further than the artists in expressing consciousness, have so far remained stuck at the stage of histrionic willy waving. this is unfortunate. given the amount of people that are impressed by that willy waving. personally I find it distasteful and not in the least impressive. but the laughing crowd always frowns at me as I fetch my coat. it's a tough business, sam.

 
Last edited:
A

Apotheosis

Guest
science of the mind, when tasked to go further than the artists in expressing consciousness, have so far remained stuck at the stage of histrionic willy waving. this is unfortunate. given the amount of people that are impressed by that willy waving. personally I find it distasteful and not in the least impressive. but the laughing crowd always frowns at me as I fetch my coat. it's a tough business, sam.
Whose cock is bigger?

When everyone's cards are laid down, we have left what we had in the beginning - a mystery.

[YOUTUBE]<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/S5MjTObhR_w&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/S5MjTObhR_w&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]​
 
R

rasselas

Guest
...

Oil Corp. has the biggest cock. Drug Corp. has the second biggest but it's expanding.
 
D

diddypinks

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 7, 2009
Messages
1,946
i got my first symptoms of phycosis at the age of 16 i was always nervous, slightly sad but i isolated myself and didnt have many friends and was smoking weed and dropping acid i dropped out of college one day when i smoked weed there i walked out and never went back, i began to smoke and drink more and one night i began to hear voices i went to see a cpn and they put me on drugs seroxat (it was later told that it should not be given to people under that age) makes me wonder how much they REALLY know about what they are doing now it changes over the centuries so much in the seventies we'd all be living in mental institutes denied our human rights and given etc therapy. its bad being a schizophrenic but either you are or you arent? ask for a diagnosis,, might take a while but then you'll know:D
 
Top