Pre-graduation loneliness

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sagehoney13

Member
Joined
May 24, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Florida
#1
Hi everyone,

I'm new to mental health forum and I really need to get this off my chest. I am graduating high school tomorrow, and in the past few days I have been suffering through severe loneliness that is almost unbearable.
I was homeschooled as a child, and I rarely saw children my own age. When I did see kids, they didn't accept me and left me out. This caused me extreme social anxiety because I never felt accepted. In my life I don't believe I have ever had a true friend who loved me. And it feels like a knife in my heart.
I have basically zero social skills, and while people do like me and think I'm a nice person, I don't have any real friends. As graduation nears I've been ruminating on the pain of being lonely my entire life. It's extremely painful. I worry that I will never make friends and that no one will ever love me. I feel like the weirdest and most unlovable person in the world.
Mother Teresa said "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty". I 100% believe this. My heart is broken and I am in searing pain. I feel really alone and lost and literally anything anyone says will be helpful right now. If anyone has a similar experience please share, it would be so helpful.
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2019
Messages
824
Location
Minnesota, USA
#2
Hi @sagehoney13

Congratulations 🎉🎈🎊.
You’ve accomplished an important era for n your life. High school is stressful enough. You survived the most influential environment. Be assured that graduation is an accomplishment to under all that pressure of being a teenager and wanting to be out and about. Maybe not having close friends was a good thing so they don’t distract you from your studies.

My son goes to high school 🙂. He has one more year to go. I know how it feels as well.

If you are not a social person, it will be very difficult to make friends. You are still young and there’s so much time ahead of you to make friends.

I thought about having my kids through home schooling but I thought about their social life. I am sure your family were very concerned about you that’s why they decided that home schooling was the best thing for you.

I can tell by the way you write and your choices of words that you are a very polite and respectful person. Maybe very shy and quiet?? You need a bit of change. Be happy and think positive and put a smile on your face always🙂. Our thoughts can affect our surroundings.

You have to be courageous and confident and start conversations with people your age. You can see it yourself that people are drawn towards those that are confident and have strong self esteem.

I apologize for the late reply. I didn’t pay attention earlier and just saw your post.
 
hicks

hicks

Well-known member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
310
Location
UK
#3
I can identify with this. The first thing is, don't try to mould yourself into something you can't be. Some people are naturally very social, and able to put people at ease. Others find that difficult. You can't change your basic personality traits. You can to some extent improve your social skills, by practice. That means putting yourself in situations where you talk to people. If you find group situations uncomfortable, focus more on one to one. When you meet someone, ask about them. Try to remember specific details about what they tell you e.g. do they have kids. Next time you see them, ask them about these things. People like it if you remember stuff like this, and it puts them at ease.

Are you a member of any clubs? Do you have hobbies that can bring you into contact with others? When joining something new, try to make a conscious effort to start conversations.
One thing I have learned over the years is that quietness is bad news, both in professional and social settings. If you don't say anything, people tend to form an opinion that you're useless, or unsociable.

And also, if you are part of something and feel involved in it, then that can improve your feeling of worth, and it will increase your self confidence.

Btw you're not alone in having no friends. I can honestly think of only one person (outside my immediate family), that I'd class as a true friend. But then 99% of the time I'm quite happy to be in my own company, and I've accepted that I'm not a naturally sociable person. Sometimes it bothers me, but I've come to a level of acceptance that I'm never going to be a social magnet.

These days technology has provided many more ways for people to meet up. When I was younger, the options were limited, particularly for someone who doesn't drink alcohol.
But I think you would be surprised at how many people out there do have some kind of social anxiety, and have similar issues to yourself. Don't give up hope!
 

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