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Post-pandemic social anxiety

F

fiora

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Nov 25, 2021
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India
I have never really been super a extroverted or out-going person but I was honestly doing okay until the pandemic and lockdown hit. Just having spent the majority of my college life at home has made me develop like genuine fear of having to now actually go to classes and be around people. I hang out w like 5-6 of my friends, my boyfriend but that’s about it. My college recently resumed physical classes and I have been dreading to go to them. Just the thought of being around people I don’t know is uncomfortable- I constantly feel they’d judge me (even though I know nobody really gives a shit about anyone else at college but there is this lingering feeling that just does not go away). Having to acquaint myself with the teachers, classmates, doing all the basic things that are expected of me as a student, have now become so stressful to even think about.
But not all days are like this, some days I feel super good and wanna go out and possibly even meet new people. “Feel” being the keyword. I haven’t actually gotten around to doing that yet.
That was about college. But my social anxiety has affected my personal life too. I met my boyfriend’s family for the first time this year, on hos birthday, we went on a one day trip. That went good but after that my boyfriend’s mother always asks my boyfriend to urge me to call her more and that they’d feel good to stay in touch w me, which I get. I do talk to them on like festivals and stuff, maybe like once or twice every month. But they apparently still want more, like??? I’m sorry I’m not a social butterfly like your other son’s girlfriend but I’m doing the best I can, I honestly do not know how to get myself to call you EVERYDAY. Like what would we even talk about? I feel like people don’t really get how much of a toll social anxiety can actually take on a person. They just dismiss it as a little awkwardness or shyness. I am not being shy, I want to make connections, I want to be outgoing but I genuinely am unable to because of my social anxiety.
That’s just about it for now I guess, general anxiety is a topic for another day.
 
K

Keyboard Worrier

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I think it is a common problem since lockdowns have started to lift that people who were not previously socially anxious have started to be more socially anxious. I consider myself socially anxious, but often feel that the longer I keep myself away from social interaction, the more intimidating the next venture into society seems to become in my head. It helps to have some small, less intimidating, social outlet maybe on a weekly basis to help break the cycle and it can help the bigger more intimidating events to be less so.

I would try not to allow the demands of your boyfriend's mother take up too much of your headspace. I do think it's a little over the top for her to expect you to call every day!! Sure, her other son's girlfriend may do that, but you are a different person. You do not have to live by anyone else's standards. You are doing what you are comfortable with and feels right for you. Do not worry about the demands of your boyfriends mother! As long as her son is happy with you, that is all that matters.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I feel like people don’t really get how much of a toll social anxiety can actually take on a person. They just dismiss it as a little awkwardness or shyness. I am not being shy, I want to make connections, I want to be outgoing but I genuinely am unable to because of my social anxiety.
Yeah, it is exhausting. I imagine most people have no idea what it is like.
 
F

fiora

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
15
Location
India
I think it is a common problem since lockdowns have started to lift that people who were not previously socially anxious have started to be more socially anxious. I consider myself socially anxious, but often feel that the longer I keep myself away from social interaction, the more intimidating the next venture into society seems to become in my head. It helps to have some small, less intimidating, social outlet maybe on a weekly basis to help break the cycle and it can help the bigger more intimidating events to be less so.

I would try not to allow the demands of your boyfriend's mother take up too much of your headspace. I do think it's a little over the top for her to expect you to call every day!! Sure, her other son's girlfriend may do that, but you are a different person. You do not have to live by anyone else's standards. You are doing what you are comfortable with and feels right for you. Do not worry about the demands of your boyfriends mother! As long as her son is happy with you, that is all that matters.
Yeah I will work on not letting that stuff affect me as much. Also, will start going to classes bec I will have to eventually😭Thank you for your input
 
jajingna

jajingna

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With anxiety or depression you get so tired for "no reason."
 
NoNameRequired

NoNameRequired

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Mordor
There is a new mutation so I think the lockdowns will have to come again, if that makes you feel any better.
 
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