Possible Bipolar Disorder ? - Help!

A

AJN17

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Hello all, this is my first post in a mental health forum...I am grateful for any support/advice on my situation with my partner.

We have been together for three years and in these three years there have been three "episodes" (I don't have a better word for them), in which his character changed drastically, and with severe consequences. One of them is going on right now...After it happened the first time I started paying close attention to his behavioural changes, and also to stories he tells me from the past that sound like similar episodes. I will try to summarize:

All three times this happened so far, a traumatic event in his life happened (last time, his father almost died in an accident), followed by a time when he can't sleep, or can't sleep deeply, or feels energized after 3h of sleep (and at the worst point, 20min of sleep). He usually doesn't drink alcohol (he is a Muslim), but then suddenly starts drinking compulsively, he is usually very careful with spending his money, but then starts spending all his (our) money, f.e. on buying 5 motorbikes in 1 month. I have a substantial debt from the first time this happened and I had to pay a lot of people back for his debts...The worst part though is that he gets extremely irritable and difficult to talk to. Everything I do upsets him, when I look at him too long, when I do something too slowly. He starts accusing me of very absurd things (like I am stealing his music and selling it to Universal behind his back), gets very insulting (again, very out of character for him). He suddenly wants to realize all his career plans at once, thinks he will be a millionaire soon, gets into fights with everybody. Is suddenly all social (he usually likes to spend time by himself). Wants distance from me, questions our relationship. He talks nonstop, mostly starts with a small everyday thing, and ends somewhere in his childhood. It is extremely difficult to interrupt him or get him to listen, even if he does, most times he doesn't remember it afterwards. His thoughts seem to be racing...

The first time this lasted 2 months, the second time ca. 3 months. It just recently started again after he broke his ankle and had surgery two weeks ago. I am really at loss of what to do...I cannot go through this again, especially with a baby to take care of. I try not to take anything he says personal, which helps a lot, but is difficult. I tried talking to him several times about getting help, but he gets upset that I am trying to convince him he has a problem. He had a very traumatic childhood with all kinds of abuse... I love him so much and I want to have this family with him, and I know he loves me too. But I cannot take the emotional abuse (I have no other word for it) that occurs in those episodes, and the financial strain they put on me.

Help?!
 
calypso

calypso

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Obviously no-one on a forum can diagnose but I think you answer your own questions really. I would suggest that he gets help very soon and tries to find a way to have more balance in his life. I think you could go to the GP yourself and ask for help and talk about his behaviour. He sounds manic doesn't he? I think its difficult to get soemone to the doctor when they are high so perhaps wait until he is calmer and try to talk him into this as a matter of urgency.

I am not someone who promotes medication as the be all and end all, but I am also bipolar and know that meds do have a good effect and are needed at times with this condition - if he has it. He needs an expert to diagnose him properly. He doesn't take any street drugs does he? They can also cause these reactions as can anti depressants at times. This is why diagnosing on a forum isn't possible, there are other things that might be going on in a person's life.

I wish you all the best.
 
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AJN17

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Thank you for your reply! You are right, he does seem manic to me, but noone can give a diagnosis online and neither can I. I am not looking for one, just for any advice on how to proceed really...
I agree that it will be difficult to talk to him about getting help while he is in this state...And when he is out of it he does kind of acknowledge the possibility of a mental health problem, especially when he cannot remember certain details. But to be perfectly honest the first time I was hoping it is a one time thing, even though from his stories it seems like has had this problem since ca. 20 years. I guess both last times I did not want to acknowledge the severity of the problen even to myself...And I also don't believe in medication,but I will try to educate myself more.

What do I do now though? We have a 7month old baby, I literally have 10$ to my name right now because all my maternity leave money went to fixing his problems of the past 2 weeks. For now, it seems to only be getting worse. Do I take my distance (as in, a different city) until the episode is over? Do I try my best to be by his side despite the abuse?
 
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AJN17

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No he doesn't take drugs, butI am almost certain this episode was caused by the pain medication and narcosis in the hospital. I don't know what tgey gave him,but at some point he thought he is a pink elefant, while being perfectly normal hours before. The doctor just laughed off my concerns about the meds and his mental health and said hallucinations are a normalsideeffect.
 

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