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Please read me

  • Thread starter LostInSpace2021
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LostInSpace2021

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Joined
Jul 4, 2021
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5
Location
Ireland
Hey. Thanks for clicking on my thread.

Ok so to cut a long story short, 2 and a half years ago I was accused of child abuse by my ex partner. It was a toxic relationship we were in and when I left I found another woman who i fell in love with.
9 months into our relationship, we got a knock from social services to inform me that an investigation was being carried out and that I had to leave my girlfriends house as her son lived with her.

I wasnt allowed unsupervised contact with her son for 2 and a half years while the investigation was ongoing. I cant describe how i felt during this time, but i felt like i would never have a normal life again and that my ex girlfriend had successfully ruines my life completely.

My girlfriend got pregnant with our son who i absolutely adore to bits, i was worried so much when this investigation was going on that i would never be able to live with him or be a proper family unit.

It was so hard to get through each day and night.

Every day and night i would wish that it would come to an end, for two and a half years.
Last month I got proven innocent and the investigation was dropped.
I was allowed to move in with my girlfriend, our son and her son immediately and we are finally all together now.
But i cant seem to get past the trauma. Its like the damage has been done to me and i thought that it would just go away. I felt amazing when i found out that i had been aqquited, but i still find myself feeling as miserable as i did before i got proven innocent.

Is there anyone who can help me figure out why this is and what i can do? I have my life back now, the only thing i wanted but its so hard to get past the trauma
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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I'm glad you were acquitted, it's an outrage that innocent people have to go through this kind of ordeal when the guilty can often go unpunished.

I can see how this has left a wound or scar on your psyche.

I wish I had some advice but this is far outside my realm of experience but I felt you deserved some sort of reply from someone so I'd like to offer my most sincere sympathies.
 
P

Pink1234

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
180
Location
UK
That was a traumatic event for you and I'm sure any type of trauma can take time to heal. Different people will heal at different rates.

I wonder if your GP could assist if things don't settle in a reasonable time.
 
L

LostInSpace2021

Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Ireland
Yeah i just thought a month would've helped me settle back in.

I mean of course im delighted before but its almost like an anti climax if that makes any sense whatsoever
 
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Aurelius

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Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
598
Sadly, full recovery can take a very long time. Basically this results from a process that puts one's life, as you have found out, in a very negative and destructive limbo. The lack of communication about what was happening or the actual accusations, combined with the sense of powerlessness and lack of support during the very lengthy investigations will have placed huge amounts of ongoing stress on every aspect of your functioning. Added to this will have been the anxiety about what was going to happen at the end of the process and the 24/7 anxieties of coping with a life that could go nowhere at the time and being a victim of the one situation where you are assumed guilty until proven otherwise. This is a lot to recover from, which is why it can take so long.

My advice is to move forward with your new life and to see your GP about getting some support and help with unpicking your trauma and dealing with each strand.
 
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