please... if someone has some advice -

[Jo1760]

I have spent the last couple of weeks feeling absolutely terrible, very down, no energy, I haven't been able to stop crying properly since Thursday evening. On top of that I have been getting really light headed and feeling as if i am about to pass out - my doctor has put that down to anxity. The weekends are bad but I am trying to keep a balance, however during weekdays at work everything is much worse. I feel sick all the time, my concentration is nowhere to be found.

I agreed with my boss that i will go off sick as of 1/09/09 but i dont know how i am going to make it though the next 2 weeks. I can't keep the thoughts at bay and I really truely feel like I am loosing the plot.

Does anyone have anything they should suggest just to get me though the next 2 weeks?

I have spoken to my dr, my meds are now going to be reviewed by a psychiatrist as they are not keeping me stable although i dont know when the first date for this will be.

I'm sorry its such a drawn out post, i just really do not kow what to do anymore. I've really reached my limit and I cant cope with what i'm thinking and how things are going.

 

[Jo1760]

I feel so lonely tonight. I really am incrediably fed up of everything. I so wish it would all end.

 

[rollinat]

Jo - I'm here if you need a chat.

 

[gray]

I agreed with my boss that i will go off sick as of 1/09/09 but i dont know how i am going to make it though the next 2 weeks. I can't keep the thoughts at bay and I really truely feel like I am loosing the plot.

Forget that, you are ill NOW. When you are sick throwing up everywhere, you wouldn't make an agreement to say you will go on sick leave in 2 weeks time, would you?

Does your employer actually know how you are feeling at the moment?
I ask because I don't believe any self respecting person would ask you to work in your condition.

You feel like you are going to pass out and you have lost your concentration. Therefore you are a potential safety hazzard to yourself and your co-workers. You are also a financial risk to your employer, if you can't concentrate on your job then undoubtedly you will get things wrong more often.

I would speak to your boss, perhaps phone up tomorrow morning? Just say you are feeling worse and you are sorry but you just can't stick to your agreement, you feel continuing to work at this moment will make you even worse.
Don't let them try to haggle you into doing 1 week etc. However, perhaps if you feel up to it make an offer of say doing 2 days per week for the following 2 weeks.

ONLY agree to what you believe you can do, you have no obligations to agree anything. Remember that you are sick and your employer forcing you to work anyway is a discrimination towards you.

 

[Jo1760]

Thank you Rollinat & Gray I know you are right. I think I am just feeling incrediably low tonight. Prob worse than ever and I feel so guilty that I can't cope with day to day things.

I wish I didn't feel quite as lonely as I do right now.

Thanks. X

 

[trombone_babe]

Please try not to feel guilty that you can't cope with everyday things, this is an illness just like the flu or shingles or something. Not being able to do things is just a symptom of that illness for many people, me included. I agree with gray, you need time off NOW, and I hope you've got it by now.

As for the loneliness, yeah I can relate to that completely. No-one can really understand if they've not been there and that puts a divide between you and other people.

Have you got a date for the psych yet? If not, I reckon it's time to go back to the doc. Why cant he prescribe something for you?

I do hope you're feeling better than when you posted.

 

[bubbling under]

jo I'm so sorry i haven;t been here for you

 

[Jo1760]

Thank you bubbling and trombone for your kind words.

Unfortunately I am still feeling pretty similar to last week. I rely can't seem to get a grip. It almost feels like the more I try the worse I seem to be doing. I haven't been sleeping properly for months however the last 3 weeks have been particularly bad and I've only been managing 2 or 3 hours even with tablets. It's left me feeling incrediably lathergic.

I haven't yet seen the pdoc. However I spoke to a cpn on Tuesday and the app should be in the next couple of weeks. I really hope they can balance my meds a little as I am finding this all incrediably draining.

In terms of work I am still there but hope to be gone by wed or Thursday at the latest. I amnot finding it easy at the moment and struggling to cope is taking it's toll on me.

Gosh I am sorry I have ranted on. I guess it's only 4 more days. I just hope that I can started to get my life back on track sooner rather than later. It just seems all too much to bare at times.

Thank you so much for your support.

X X

 

[bubbling under]

leaving more hugs

 

[Jo1760]

Thank you so much bubbling under. I really appreciate everything you have said. I am incrediably grateful for ur support.

XX

 

[Cemtex]

I feel so lonely tonight. I really am incrediably fed up of everything. I so wish it would all end.

I am new to this forum but I know exactly how you feel and I fight hard everyday to make it too the next. I think you should be off work now not later. I could not even keep a job down with the way I am so you are trying your dam best every day by going in even though your world falls down around you and no one notices. No one understands what it is like to live in this world that is my personal hell unless someone has been to theirs. I am always here for a chat or to let off steam xxxxx

 

[Jo1760]

Thank you centex.
I have really tried my best this weekend as i spent the weekend away (something in hindsight i probably should of cancelled, but found it hard to say ‘no’ too) with people that i knew but also a high number of those who I didn't at all. I found the whole experience incredibly draining. Retaining the mask for that amount of time is very difficult and today being back in my normal environment I feel exhausted, barely able to move from my desk let alone focus on work. I look forward to the moment when my review with my boss happens this week and I can finally take some time away and recover. I almost as well as mentally tired, physically ache too. I suppose its just my whole bodies way of saying its had enough and can't cope any longer.

 

[Cemtex]

Make sure you get that much needed time off you really need it. I have sent you a pm ok xxx