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Please i need help i said please!

mark payne

mark payne

Active member
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
36
hey please dont just read and go please i need to back my life i need help!

i'm mark 23 years old i'm that normal teenager with a lot of friends ..love sports have an amazing girlfriend i love her to death,everything is so good till the last month when my life become dark i can't sleep i cant do anything i'm just thinking and thinking well what's happened is this!!

we were sitting me and my friend (he is a phylosofy student) so we start talking about philosofy things and life and everything scientific in general, after a while my friend said that everything change nothing stay the same and ofc me i was talking as any other normal teenager i'm not a phylosiofer like him so i said ( no my love to my girl will last forever) he was laughing then he said listing dude dont just talk just to talk dont say shit i'm talking and i know what i read and what i say (EVERYTHING CHANGE THE ONLY THING DONT CHANGE IS THE CHANGE IT SELF) go and understand this sentence first then come talk to me !!! and i was angry ofc i said ok then if everything do change then you may be a fag someday!! then he was laughing he said will if i do u will do too cause the change is for all it's not only u and me its the whole univers and he said some more shits too about god and religions (he is athiest) i out from there and i was thinking about the sentense he said and idk what's really did to my mind but i just kinda start to believe it and i feel kinda will lose my mind, he said ok if you are sure that everything dont change then look around u look how people were and become look at ur clothes is it the same with the past generations clothes ofc no...i know u have a gf and u r the hero in ur schoool that every dude wanna look like but lemme f** with ur mind and tell u the truth to wake up, if everything change around u give me a reason that ur sexuality wont do too someday!!!?just give me a proof and i will shut up forever ... and i was like wtf!! ofc it wont i love women i'm straight im gonna marry my gf and be happy and he told me what the proof that u will love women forever and not change!! when we were small we all dream of become a fireman a football player but that dissapear later..what the proof that ur sexuality wont dissapear too or change!! and i was so mad and out from there and in my way home i was thinking about what he said is that true i mean is it real that i will be like that is it real everything i like can dissapear and i start like other thing i'm so scared i wish he wouldn't told me that i feel hurt so deep is that right plz help me i feel like i'm gonna lose my mind or i already did plz dont laugh i put this in other forums and people call me things i swear i'm just that dude want to have a happy normal life idk what that as** did to my mind plz tell me the change thing is a lie i dont wanna become this way plz help!!!
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
sending hugs

i guess nobody can predict the future but we can choose our paths

stay strong and positive

also welcome to the forums :welcome:
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
2,095
Location
UK
Hi Mark

Your friend is right in some ways, but I think you are panicking about what he said unnecessarily. It is true that lots of things in life change, you were a small child and loved playing with your toys, but you grew up, now you have other interests and you have your girlfriend. You may change career even several times as you go through life. You may marry your girlfriend and be happy together. You may fall out of love and eventually meet someone else. Things do change all the time. But the essential YOU inside will still be there even though things about you change.

As for sexuality, once mature most people don't change their sexuality. People can be gay, straight or bisexual, or somewhere in between, some do fluctuate, but most are what they are. It is unlikely that will change.

We have to accept that things do change. But if there are things - or people - we like in/about our lives, we can work to make sure those things don't change.

Best wishes, Sarah
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Nov 1, 2014
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here
Hi mark,

The love between yourself and your girlfriend sounds pretty awesome.

Take care, all the best for you.
 
mark payne

mark payne

Active member
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
36
hey first thank you everybody for the replies...i'm not trying to be rude but some answers make it more worst, please dont get mad but you just dont understand me guys my head is about to cut to half i wanna to kill myself so i stop thinking of this, i'm 100000% straight i admire women i dont want to hear that it can happen i mean what my friend said it hurt me so deep and my dignity already gone i read somewhere that sexuality dont change and it's impossible to cause its in our genes plz tell me it's right i wanna back my life i feel crazy thinking about what he said, thats not possible plz tell me its impossible to change give me a proof so i can make him shut up, any scientific proof that sexuality dont change? plz if there is one give it to me so i can prove him wrong!! i'm deeply hurt and i feel my brain damaged that just wrong i mean i dont hate gay people or anything but i'm just not that way and dont want to be like this ever!! i mean let's just be honest if everything change then nothing in this world have a meaning!! i mean our beliefs ...things we fight for and living for if it's gonna change and our love to it will change too then why we fight for it it's like nothing have a meaning at all, i feel ashamed cause after that i always think about that 24/7 all day and it hurt me deep knowing its possible and when i see a guy friend i always get away its like my mind tell me its gonna happen now i feel completly crazy,,,so please any proofs that can prove it impossible to change so i can relief and back my life...i swear i will never talk about phylosofy things after that it just abnormal gosh.
 
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R

Rose19602

Guest
We can't provide you with proof Mark....you have to work out for yourself why your friend's comments freaked you out so much.
You are clearly not gay, and I agree with the others that it is highly unlikely that you will become gay.

Your friend sounds like he is a persuasive and determined person when arguing his case. He sounds as if he would be likely to twist unlikely scenarios and information to reinforce his argument too....I suspect that he has used this method of persuasion when talking with you and you have been unable to find an argument that he cannot twist to suit his point of view.

These kinds of debates are often unrealistic and the people who philosophise are often unable to prove their point through experience or example.

This has got under your skin too much. Try to take a step back from it and get it into proportion again by leaving the subject alone for a while.

You are not gay. You do love your girlfriend. End of. Don't be drawn into any more pointless discussions.

...and welcome to the forum btw!
x
 
mark payne

mark payne

Active member
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
36
hey MissKitty thank you for your reply! and about your question it freak me out cause i know he is a student and he read a lot and he know what he say and that fear its cause he said its possible and i can't accept that as a man its just wrong and in my mind it can't happen i was always that manly dude that proud of his self and someone come and tell you this crazy things it will make you crazy and when u know u cant prove him wrong that double it and it make me so so so angry.
 
Jaminacaranda

Jaminacaranda

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Aug 18, 2013
Messages
2,192
Location
East of England
Hi Mark :)

Philosophy isn't 'the truth' (I used to be a philosophy student) - it tends to ask difficult questions and people then argue about the possible answers to those questions and they never agree, but yes, sometimes the questions philosophers pose can be quite disturbing.

I agree with what others have said - you can't predict your future with 100% accuracy and indeed there are some mental health conditions that find this unpredictability difficult to cope with and for those people any 'change' is challenging.

To me (and seriously, I'm no expert) you just sound a bit panicked by the idea that who you think you are now might be different in the future. So, OK, to me that doesn't sound like a bad thing. I'd hate to think that someone said to me, at the age of 23, 'Well there you are, that's you for the rest of your life, nothing about you will ever change' because that sounds pretty boring to me.

I'm talking as an old person (63!) and all I can say to you is, don't get that hang-up on the idea that at such-and-such an age you should be like this, and you should be thinking/doing this...it's complete crap. Life is an adventure from start to finish and what you should be most concerned with is finding out who you are as a unique individual and just enjoying life without trying all the time to conform with what you believe is 'normal' because it's always other people who define what is 'normal' and they always define it to their own advantage!

Really, there's nothing wrong with you. You're only 23. You haven't discovered who you are yet. Yes, sexuality is usually fixed from birth (but I would say it is much more fluid than many people allow it to be) but how you express and act on your sexuality is your choice. You will always be in control of that.
 
R

Rose19602

Guest
That is a very good answer Jamindacaranda.
A lot of sense talked there Mark....and as good an answer as anyone can give you I think.
x
 
Sid85

Sid85

Member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
5
Hello.
I think that everyone changes. I know that I have changed a lot over the years. No one can tell you who you are or who you will become. Only you can decide that. I have had many fears that negative experiences or the influences of others might change me for the worst. I think that your friend got to you and that you are going to be okay. Sometimes it is best to allow what others say to go in one ear and out the other. I have a friend who hurts my feelings all the time and I do not allow it to rule me or damage me. I am glad that you and your girlfriend are so happy and I hope everything works out for the two of you. -Sid85
 
mixtape02

mixtape02

Active member
Joined
Dec 23, 2014
Messages
28
Just because there's change in the world doesn't mean you should automatically conclude you will probably "turn gay" one day. I think he was messing with you. You should have told him, "Yeah, people can realize they have same sex attraction later and even act on it, but I'm pretty sure I love my girlfriend and I'm straight, bud." And pat him on the shoulder and walk away. Why are you so insecure about the "gay" thing?
 
calypso

calypso

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Your friend sounds as though he is showing off to you and I would ask, why is he so insecure that he has to do that? Ignore him and just live your life. He isn't the be all and end all. Ignore him.

As for being suicidal, remember you love your girlfriend and she would be devastated honey. Hang on in there and just don't rise to the bait. Try to just distract from him and remember your truth, your reality. Hugs honey xxx
 
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