- Oct 8, 2019
- Winnipeg, Manitoba
So there is this girl I talked to with the possibility of a romantic relationship the past few months. So we recently ended our talks but I keep on having ocd thoughts about us. Including guilt about why things ended, if it was really my fault or if she was being honest when she said she just lost interest. Well starting two or three days ago I have been having thoughts that she is a secret lesbian now and that its my fault. I thought this wasn't true but to reassure myself I went on her instagram and noticed she had pictures of girls on there. Then I looked at who she was following and saw she is following that lesbian from the bachelorette and noticed the girl I liked, liked a picture of the bachelorette girl with her girlfriend. It got my thoughts riled up thinking she was lesbian so I decided I wanted to end this pain and just ask her. But I couldn't ask her right out so I lied and said I had a friend that was a girl who is interested in her and was wondering where she leaned. She said she is straight and even though I got the answer I wanted I feel creepy. Creepy that I had to lie to get my compulsions over with. I thought about doing this two nights ago but didn't feel right about it but decided last night and needed an answer to stop ruminating. Please help. And also when she answered she said, "you know I'm straight." but then she asked "who was this" referring to the girl that "was interested" in her. I'm not sure if she means it's actually lesbian or just curious of who it was. Please help guide me in what I should do. I don't want to be honest with her cause I know she wouldn't understand what I'm going through. I'm feeling so creepy and know this isn't me but at the same time can't help to feel guilty.