please help...

[ophere]

Hi, I'm writing because there are a few things I am confused and worried about, i feel like i'm going mad and i have been feeling suicidal recently. Please help!
for the past couple of years, I have not been able to focus on anything or hold any of my thoughts. My mind is constantly active and I can't stop myself from thinking. this had led me to develop erratic sleeping patterns and chronic insomnia. It is really affecting my life, because I cant focus, I end up in a sort of paralysed state thinking of all the things i want to do and need to do, but i'm unable to do them.... also I feel like I cannot hold a conversation with anyone, or think of anything interesting to say... I used to be very good at talking to people. My self esteem has plummeted.. and I feel nervous when meeting new people. - I have had depression since I was 12, I am 24 now. I often get the feeling that my life is being recorded and played on tv to people.... like the film "the truman show" and I feel like my life is very temporary and things don't seem to hold any importance to me.


what can I do? what is wrong with me? i feel really messed up.

 

[amathus]

Hi, I'm writing because there are a few things I am confused and worried about, i feel like i'm going mad and i have been feeling suicidal recently. Please help!
for the past couple of years, I have not been able to focus on anything or hold any of my thoughts. My mind is constantly active and I can't stop myself from thinking. this had led me to develop erratic sleeping patterns and chronic insomnia. It is really affecting my life, because I cant focus, I end up in a sort of paralysed state thinking of all the things i want to do and need to do, but i'm unable to do them.... also I feel like I cannot hold a conversation with anyone, or think of anything interesting to say... I used to be very good at talking to people. My self esteem has plummeted.. and I feel nervous when meeting new people. - I have had depression since I was 12, I am 24 now. I often get the feeling that my life is being recorded and played on tv to people.... like the film "the truman show" and I feel like my life is very temporary and things don't seem to hold any importance to me.


what can I do? what is wrong with me? i feel really messed up.

Hi, have you talked about these feelings to anyone?

Perhaps your first stop should be your GP, they will, if necessary refer you on to
somebody who can help you.




meteos.

 

[BORTU]

Ophere, You ask what is wrong with you? Well you will have to get a doctor to answer that, but if you want to talk about it to people who understand keep posting here.

Most people need help from time to time. Hang in there, it will get better.

 

[Jo1760]

Hi Ophere,

I was so sorry to hear you have been struggling so much recently. I have to say a lot of what you wrote, rang true with me also. So I can understand just how dreadful it is to feel that way. I think Meteos and Bortu are completely right when they say to get some advice from your GP. It really would be worthwhile speaking to them and hopefully they can give you the medical support you deserve. If you are unsure about exactly what to say to the doctor, it might be worth while printing out a copy of your post as you have made your thoughts an feelings very clear.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing.

Welcome to the forum also, I hope you find it a really helpful and supportive place.

X

 

[bluenomore]

for the past couple of years, I have not been able to focus on anything or hold any of my thoughts. My mind is constantly active and I can't stop myself from thinking. this had led me to develop erratic sleeping patterns and chronic insomnia. It is really affecting my life, because I cant focus, I end up in a sort of paralysed state thinking of all the things i want to do and need to do, but i'm unable to do them....

Yeah, this sounds very familiar to me too. Hang in there and go see your Doctor with a copy of your post, as others have suggested.

 

[ADrisk]

Some of what you said is probably true for most people ( i have for one am a generally shy person around new people, just like most other people are). the key to what you said what how you became depressed in the first place. If you wish to share why this happened, please do so as it would be a helpful tool in understanding how to help you get over it. But for starters, i can recommend getting a new haircut you've liked, setting some goals in life which you may find achievable, (learn to do the rubik's cube, learn to play an instrument, go bunjee jumping e.t.c) Try to look at what you have and not what you do not. You are not blind, and therefore can enjoy the beauty of this world, if you are not deaf, you can enjoy the beauty of music and sounds the world has to offer etc. Perhaps take up a sport or start to learn dancing, do things which would force you to associate with others and try living a healthier lifestyle. Eat fruits and vegetables, exercise regularly, get fresh air etc.
Good luck!

 

[maudikie]

Do go and see you doctor andtell him your difficulties. Don't worry about not talking to people if you are in company. Listen. You hear some strange things!. Seriously though Do go and see your doctor.

 

[Rosepoet]

Hi and welcome

i second All the good advice the other posters have offered and also offer a poem for you though you feel so alone and unreal do not give up for there are caring people here who have walked just where you are now they have come through and will show you how you have taken the first and hardest step hang on in there however tough it gets X

 

[ophere]

thanks everyone. i'm going to go and see a doctor.

 

[amathus]

thanks everyone. i'm going to go and see a doctor.

That's good news, do let us know how you get on.


meteos.