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Please help OCD

E

Ermie24

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Joined
May 23, 2020
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4
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Europe
Hello,

I've been struggling with OCD since my childhood. I'm extremely anxious at the moment, so I would appreciate some help.
Yesterday evening I googled a famous hentai website because I had read in a news article that it had been down and I wanted to know why. I had absolutely no intention of watching hentai as I'm not interested, I was just looking for an article to answer my question. While I was scrolling the results, I saw a google page title (with hentai in the title of the website) that was very suspicious involving minors. It was on the first page of the search results. I feel terrible. Of course I didn't click and didn't visit the website, but I am disgusted by the title and I wished I hadn't googled the website in the first place. I don't know if there was a cartoon video or if it was a clickbait, but either way I feel bad, terribly bad. As I suffer from OCD, it makes this worse. I feel like a monster. I hate myself. I don't see my psychiatrist until Friday and it feels like an eternity. Please help. Thanks.
 
calypso

calypso

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:welcome: to the forum. I am glad you didn't click on the site, they are destructive. I don't know what hentai means I'm afraid. As for your OCD then have you tried Mindfulness? It can help with the intrusive thoughts. We have avery brief introduction on here but maybe look it up on the internet.

 
E

Ermie24

New member
Joined
May 23, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Europe
:welcome: to the forum. I am glad you didn't click on the site, they are destructive. I don't know what hentai means I'm afraid. As for your OCD then have you tried Mindfulness? It can help with the intrusive thoughts. We have avery brief introduction on here but maybe look it up on the internet.

Hello, thanks for your answer.
Hentai is Japanese cartoon pornography. As I'm very anxious to stumble across something illegal on the internet, I wanted to know why it was down so that I don't stumble across it. I'm not interested in children at all. I feel so bad I want to die.
I tried mindfulness in the past but to no avail.
 
calypso

calypso

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There is no reason to get too upset I assure you. These things are set to trip us up. So long as you avoid it then that is fine. I'm an ex nurse and once typed in "strokes" to learn more about Cerebral Vascular Accidents and got porn galore :rofl2:. I am so innocent that I didn't think of the word stroke could mean anything else! It was awful actually and I am much more careful now.

Don't let it worry you too much. I know that is easier said than done but try hard to not let it worry you. Sorry about mindfulness not working.
 
E

Ermie24

New member
Joined
May 23, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Europe
Thanks for your answer.
I'm still worried sick. I feel as if I lost every bit of joy.
 
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