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Please help. My life is destroyed

M

mickeymoo

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2010
Messages
427
I don’t know where to start and I don’t know if this is the right place. Please bear with me. I am diagnosed with schizophrenia, autism, ocd and anxiety and depression. I also self harm but have managed not to for a few years.

my 18 year marriage is over. My husband pushed me into leaving our council flat. I felt I had no choice. He wouldn’t let me take my young teenager child.

this was a few months ago. He told me it was to be temporary but the next day he turned up, took my keys and dumped my clothes.

he has met someone and moved her in straight away when my daughter didn’t even know her. I found out by accident after she had been living there for two weeks. My daughter was told not to tell me because I wouldn’t react well to it.
He has now blocked me from contacting him in any shape or form including emails and has told me if I want any contact with him I have to use a solicitor.

I lent him some money before I found out he had someone living there. He also borrowed my savings with out asking.I fell out with him when I found out what had happened. He told me he would pay me back and has now got my daughter to tell me he is keeping the money for all the lifts he’s given her to see me.
All the text I sent him when I was upset and angry he has shown my daughter. Only the choice ones of course. This has destroyed our relationship. She said her opinion of me will never change now. She is always coming up with excuses not to see me. I see her maybe 3 hours a week now.

I have now received a nasty message off his girlfriend telling me to leave him alone etc! How can I leave him alone when I don’t have any contact with him anyway!

I walked away with nothing but my clothes. He kept everything.

I have looked into getting a solicitor but have been told I will have to pay unless I say it’s domestic abuse. I do not want to go down that road. I don’t know what to do. I have lost everything including my child
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
303
Location
Scotland
There is a lot going on here.

Are you on the council property as a joint tenant with your husband?

I know legal aid has been cut back quite a bit, but you may have chance being able to access a solicitor through that.
 
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mickeymoo

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2010
Messages
427
Yes I am on the council property. But I moved out. I have been in contact with solicitors and they have all said they can’t help
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
303
Location
Scotland
Yes I am on the council property. But I moved out. I have been in contact with solicitors and they have all said they can’t help
Then, you should have a say then , you`re a joint tenant, so he is in the wrong here. If someone else is living there, not you as the joint tenant, he must be breaching some part of the tenancy agreement. Definitely a call to the council as well.

I would try and see if you qualify for legal aid, I hope so , this is definitely wrong.
 
M

mickeymoo

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2010
Messages
427
I have been in contact with solicitors. They have said it will only be free if I say there was domestic abuse and I do not want to go down that road
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
303
Location
Scotland
I have been in contact with solicitors. They have said it will only be free if I say there was domestic abuse and I do not want to go down that road
You`re misunderstanding me. Legal aid is available, albeit it has been stripped back, for certain cases. It helps to fund assistance for solicitors. There is no guarantee you would get it, but it`s worth looking into it. Have you actually enquired about actual legal aid?

To me, it sounds like you were forced out of your home by your husband, through manipulation and coercion, taken advantage of because of your mental health issues.

Maybe it`s time to go back and explain what has happened was a form of abuse, try stipulating that. Abuse does not need to take the form of beatings, there are are other forms of abuse, financial etc.
 
L

Livebythesea

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
132
Location
East Coast
I am in the US so not sure how these situations work but abuse does not have to take the form of physical abuse, controlling behavior is huge etc...hopefully there are domestic violence agencies there as well and you can get their feedback? In the US there are agencies that have free counseling, legal assistance etc so I hope you are able to get some help.
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
630
Location
Scotland
Just a couple of points, please. Why did you agree to go temporarily and where are you staying at the moment? Is it the case that you have a CPN involved and are they aware of your situation? If you do have access to a CMHT better let them know! Until you tell me why you left the property I cannot really say much more - but if you are saying that you want to return to a house where you hold joint tenancy and you are being prevented from doing so will you let us know, please. The alternative is you are accepting that is not healthy for you and you need rehoused on your own, or possibly with your daughter.
 
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