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Please help me

J

Jambo85

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Mar 8, 2015
Messages
6
Hi, I'm James, a 29 year old male.
Where to start, I've convinced myself that I'll be ending my life before I turn 30 if my shitty existence on this crap revolving planet hasn't improved.
The hysterical thing is, I rate myself as 1 of very few decent human beings left inhabiting this shitdive earth.
I'm repeatedly let down by woman even though I think I'm a gentleman. I fell for this girl who absorbed me into her life intentionally on her behalf.
I was in a good place till this happened only to have my heart and soul chewed up and spat out for the last time.
I'm fed up of all these robots surrounding me with Facebook this and twitter that.
Society can go fuck itself. It's only going to get worse as mankind continually reproduces its diseased, deceitful race. I've had enough and I want out.
I just feel hopeless and destined to die alone.
Does anybody relate?
 

MarlieeB

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Jan 15, 2013
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Hi James and :welcome: to the forum.

I'm sorry you feel so hopeless and alone.

I made the decision to die on a certain date a couple of weeks ago. Now I am thinking more logically I am doubting it and the reasons why I am thinking along those lines.

I'm sorry that you have been let down time and time again. One day someone will come along who deserves the love and compassion that you have inside you.

Are there any other reasons why you feel like this? How long has it been since you broke up with this girl? (Please correct me if I'm wrong)

It may get worse before it gets better, I'm not going to lie to you. I think you should try and give it some time personally but I know that is easier said than done.

Take care

Marliee x
 
J

Jambo85

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2015
Messages
6
Hi Marliee.

Thanks for the early reply, that in itself means the world to me.
I simply just can't see a future. The world is evolving at such a stupid rate and I really don't want to be part of it anymore.
It's been 2 months since that scorpion woman permanently disabled any hope I had left.
So pretty much since then in envisage myself [removed] there and it actually makes me feel happy because I know it's my way out.
I thank you again for the encouragement that there is somebody for me but I truly don't believe here is.
I've prayed to God with tears in my eyes in my last shred of hope but I find no comfort.
I have a loving family but I don't feel we're on the same page, or realm even...
What are your circumstances if you don't mind me asking?
 
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MarlieeB

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I'm single, my life is falling apart, I'm fat, ugly and the one thing I live for isn't enough. I'm trying to fight it at the moment, I'm having a relief few days where I'm thinking a bit more straight. They don't tend to last for long but who knows. I've been staying at my parents for a few weeks now to keep myself safe so there must be something keeping me here, dunno.

It's only been 2 months, you are still grieving the end of the relationship and how she treated you, that may take a while to get over.

Have you ever had any kind of talking therapy. It might do you good to talk things over maybe?

x
 
J

Jambo85

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2015
Messages
6
Yeah that "relief few days" I know too well.
You think you've conquered it then "bam", there it is again.
I hope for your sake you heal soon. I'd rather you than me because ironically I don't want a fellow human being to take her/himself.
I've done the whole talking therapy...even opened my heart to my dad for the first time ever, which helped dramatically to begin with, but then reality strikes and it's back to square 1.
Stay with your parents for as long as you can.
 

MarlieeB

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Do you think you could go back and get some more therapy or at least tell a Doctor just how you are feeling right now?

x
 
J

Jambo85

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Mar 8, 2015
Messages
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It's a possibility. But I'm weary of the side affects medication can have, assuming my doctor would prescribe me with such. Did your doctor help at all?
 

MarlieeB

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Well if you don't want meds you can maybe say to your Doctor that you don't want to go down that route?

I have a brilliant GP who does help me but there's only so much she can do :)

x
 
J

Jambo85

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2015
Messages
6
Thank you so much for your thoughts.
Perhaps only posititivy can come from that.
 
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