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RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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Jun 25, 2013
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Idk how to respond when mum starts talking like this.....

Im not meant to be happy
I will be a lonely old woman
Life is shit and always will be

And many more things she says

It hurts to see her so hurt and unhappy but she wont talk to anyone idk what to do anymore

This is all my fault
 
P

Purplemess

Guest
Try not to take it to heart. She is probably just lost and maybe she doesn't know herself how to handle it all. It must have been a shock to her and she probably feels she has let you down. Try and take it with a pitch of salt. Concentrate on yourself and make sure you are ok and safe. Your mum will be ok if your ok. Maybe she feels she can't be happy until she knows you are happy. Take each day as it comes. You are the most important person at the moment. Take care.
 
pepecat

pepecat

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Hey....

This is NOT your fault. This is your step-dad's fault.
His.
Not yours.
Did you ask him to do stuff to you?
No?
Then it's not your fault.

As for your mum, maybe she needs time to come round to the idea that talking to someone could be helpful?
I wonder if you could maybe print out some info on local counselling / advice services and just leave it out on the table for her. Don't say anything, just leave it for her to find. She might need some time for the suggestion to sink in and this way she can think about it in her own time.
 
Q

Quickduck

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It’s not your fault Judazz; your shit of a stepdad did this to her not you; this must have come as a real shock to your mum but in the end she’ll be glad she found out. She probably isn’t looking for answers right now; only for you to be there for her; and she’s probably shouldering a fair amount of guilt concerning this as the last thing any parent wants is to have something like this happened to your child. Things are at their worst for both of you right now, but you have each other. She will be happy again, you both will. She will never be lonely because she has you; life is shit but it won’t always be so. You’ll get through this; you’ll be fine and your stepdad will soon be in prison where he belongs. :hug:
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Sorry to hear you are going through such a bad time. You seem to be taking on all of the responsibility and blame on yourself when really, you are the innocent one in all of this.

I can't even begin to imagine how upsetting and awful everything you're going through must be and your mum is bound to be distraught but you really shouldn't blame yourself for this in any way. Perhaps do as previously suggested and guide her towards seeking help? You are there for each other and that's the main thing. I hope that everything settles down soon for you both.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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It's not your fault. :hug:
You have done the right thing.

It must be very difficult trying to help your Mum when you probably feel like absolute crap too.
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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Thanks everyone xxx :grouphug: i really appreciate all your responses i really really do xxxxx
 
A

Alienated

Guest
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, I have been following you posts on this. I just am speechless until now, This man is revictimizing your family..

Your guilt is not what the facts say.. He is the fault of this, not you. And you are there for you mom now, I think you are very brave, strong, and loving of your mum..

That man is NOT.. She has the best for a Daughter, she just can't see that through hers or your pain right now. The two of you can be there for each other.. Don't let him steal that too.

You have NO guilt in this, he violated you and it hurt everyone. You had to speak up, she had to know.. Now you can go from there, maybe you can get a T to walk you though it together.

And you will both be stronger for it in the end, you'll have each other. Both survivors, not victims..
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, I have been following you posts on this. I just am speechless until now, This man is revictimizing your family..

Your guilt is not what the facts say.. He is the fault of this, not you. And you are there for you mom now, I think you are very brave, strong, and loving of your mum..

That man is NOT.. She has the best for a Daughter, she just can't see that through hers or your pain right now. The two of you can be there for each other.. Don't let him steal that too.

You have NO guilt in this, he violated you and it hurt everyone. You had to speak up, she had to know.. Now you can go from there, maybe you can get a T to walk you though it together.

And you will both be stronger for it in the end, you'll have each other. Both survivors, not victims..
Thanks so much xxxxx
 
V

voyager

Guest
Sorry, I'm not much use at the moment, I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and that I hope things improve and that things are sorted out the way you want them to be. You deserve to be happy. It makes me feel angry that your step dad did this to you. Please look after yourself, don't let him get into your psyche too much, easier said than done, but you definitely shouldn't blame yourself. It's him that's the weirdo and deserves to be punished.

Take care, lots of love, Voyager
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
 

MarlieeB

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None of this is neither of your fault, not at all. I like pepecat's idea about the leaflets. Maybe ask her if she wants to make an appointment with a GP, just to have someone else to share these feelings with?

Lots of :hug5:'s for the both of you.

xxxxx
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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Thanks voyager and marilee. I have tried to get her to look at leaflets but she isnt interested at all. She wont go to the gp she cant face nobody right now she is still working in a factory and she is in a state going but knows things will be tougher if it ends up in the news in which case she knows she will need to be signed off so she is forcing herself to work until xmas.
 
P

Purplemess

Guest
So sorry you are having to deal with this. Maybe you could try leaving the leaflets laying around, she may well read them when you are not about. Keep strong and look after you as you are number one priority.
 
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