• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Please help me understand what my mother is going through



New member
Mar 14, 2015
Hi all, im just wondering if anyone may be able to assist? :) I'm 33 years old, and my mother (in her early fifties) has stated going through something that I can't quite explain and it's causing a lot of anxiety and grief, primarily due to me and the rest of my family not knowing what's going or what we can do to help. I think I just need to go through the symptoms in dot points, as I see from my own perspective:

* when it first started approximately 6 months ago, she was bawling on the phone. She couldn't articulate why she was crying, but it was like something really devastating had happened and she was struggling to speak.
* we met up in person, and she smiled when we hugged, but as soon as I asked how she was, she broke down in tears, in the middle of a busy street. Again, she simply couldn't explain what the problem was. She would just say things like "you don't know what I've been through" and "I'm seeing things clearly now". Again, she wouldn't elaborate.
* We met a few more times, and she was a bit more mellow but she expressed interest in quitting her current job and getting a new job as a courier (she's quite thin and frail, and I don't think she understood how physically demanding such a job would be). She also wanted to hire an agent to sell her house so that she could buy houses for me and my brother's. I told her that we were all self sufficient and this was not required (which is true). I myself have a wife and we are planning our own expansion to the family. She stated how she would have to start getting friendly with the homeless people because she might soon be homeless. This all sounded completely out of character and bizarre.
* she kept leaving her home (where her and my dad live together, still married) and wanting to be near "her boys" (me and my brother). She expressed that she felt guilty about not being near us and helping us. Several times she stayed over at our places, sitting quietly and not saying much.
* after a few weeks of this, there was a crisis where we spoke on the phone and she was barely coherent, telling me she loved me and not to forget about her side of the inheritance. I tried reiterating that things were going to be fine, but she dismissed me. I took this as a sign that she wasn't planning to live much longer. My father and a few of her sisters managed to get her to hospital where she was given a Valium. This calmed her down, but she was still a bit out of it.
* she started seeing a doctor and was given some treatment including medication. For several weeks she was actually very good, like the mother we knew and grew up with. A bit clingy and slightly anxious, but at least coherent and not saying really odd things.
* Today, its suddenly all started up again. She went to stay at her mother's place (my grandmother) for some reason, but then wanted to go home with dad. Then half way home, she said she wanted to go back to her mum's. Then when they got back there, she suddenly wanted to go back home again. It seemed wherever she was, she wanted to be somewhere else. As far as I'm currently aware, she's on her way back home with my dad.

Anyhoo.. I hope that kind of made sense, I'm a bit frazzled now. Shocked more so that her treatment (which seemed to be going so well) suddenly came undone. Not so much looking for a diagnosis, but wondering if anyone has any similar experience or advice to share?. :-\

Thanks all :)


Jan 15, 2013
:welcome: to the forum.

Sounds like you are in a hard place at the moment aren't you.

Of course we aren't Doctors on here so can only give our opinions :)

It sounds like before she was crying out for help but couldn't actually bring out the words as such to actually describe in words how she was feeling. Sometimes people may do things like acting different to try and say help.

I would say because you are her child she finds it harder to speak to you. Can you try and see whether your Dad can try and convince her to go to a Doctor? I think that is a good thing to do to start with. Do you know whether there has been any trauma lately or in the past.

It's hard when we just don't know what to do.

I may be talking rubbish though so hopefully others will be along to give their opinions :)

Marliee x