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Please help me, my brain hates me (HOCD) [NSFW]

T

ThatGuy104

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Joined
Feb 13, 2021
Messages
18
Location
Georgia
Trigger warning: Talks of masturbation and adult content

Instead of trying to tell you guys what happened I’m just going to take you into my brain and maybe you guys can decipher and rationalise what my brain won’t let


*Opens straight adult content and proceeds to do it*

*Sees male genitals and feels a groinal response*

Brain: “Hey did you just get a groinal response to that, what could that mean? Hey I know, you’re masturbating right now how about you look at the genitals see if you get a reaction”

Me: “Sure...”


Brain: “Well looks like you didn’t feel anything...wait HAHA did you just masturbate to male genitals?!?! Haha and you call yourself straight”


Me: “Wait no I didn’t, you told me to just look I-I didn’t masturbate to it!”

Brain: “Well what do you call it when you stroke yourself while looking at something Huh????”

Me: “No I wasn’t! I was looking at the women first, if I looked at a wall while masturbating it doesn’t mean I’m masturbating to a wall right?!?”


Brain: “If you’re so sure try recreate that situation and see what you really did”


Me: “Ok...”


Brain: “Hahaha you fell for it twice, how gullible can someone be! You just masturbated to it again”


Me: “No-No that’s not what I meant to do, I didn’t do that!”


Brain: “So you masturbate to male genitals? Hahaha go tell your friends that and see how they look at you, you’ll never be the same again”


Me: “No you tricked me! Please stop this”



And this is what I’m going through now, albeit not as dramatic but I really don’t know what’s going on anymore...
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I don't want to read the above so have scrolled down as you seem desperate for support and i wanted to reply. I don't know very much about OCD or the problems you have, but i think there are many other people who struggle like you and have written on the forum in the past.

Try to control your mind, is my basic advice. I often have thought we shouldn't watch all these violent movies because they aren't good for us, and so maybe your problems are related to information that is going in to your brain? I don't know, but i try to filter what i watch and read to keep my mind simple and focused on what i have to do in life like clean, eat, sleep well, keep in touch with positive friends.
 
Bluejay7500

Bluejay7500

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Apr 10, 2020
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6,679
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planet earth
Do you want my scientific theory on this. I think any kind of sexual imaging or sexual promiscuity can turn someone on. Even to things you don’t normally see or want to get turned on by. My brain/ why am I looking at porn anyways I’m a female. It’s not “ok” too look at porn, but who really says. I think it’s natural to get turned on. You should tell your brain your looking at a reflection of yourself and getting turned on. As in the other guy is you in your eyes, that will shut em up!
 
J

ji_11

Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Bahamas
Something about ocd is that many of us have inappropriate groin arousal responses that has nothing to do with what we actually want/like. So even if that were to happen you have to tell yourself that.

I also think creating a more positive view of sexuality is important even for straight people. Instead of viewing sexuality as straight vs gay which is a more modern approach.

I don't think the approach should be "just tell yourself you're straight since you are" since I know that wouldn't work for me. Of course ocd isn't a switch you can turn off but I'm a no labels kind of a person who's liked different people but as a teen I had and obsession around if I could be fully gay.

Instead of proving my attraction to the opposite gender to fix that (bc it was clear it was making it worse) I came at it with an "I don't care" attitude until I believed it. Wasn't going to be the end of the world, I hung around people who didn't fret about their labels and I was all good.
 
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