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Please help me: my anxiety pushed everyone away

T

The greene

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
3
I am sitting here at 3.20am and I am desperately trying to hold all this little bits of my mind together.

What can I do to alleviate my panic attacks? They are so strong that I shake uncontrollably for hours and dry-sob.

It's all centred around my rocky romantic relationship. My partner is not very supportive and is currently out drinking despite assuring me they'd be home by midnight. I have been pacing, raging, blowing up the phone with angry and anxious texts. I know this makes me look nuts and doesn't help the situation but I resent the lack of understanding from my partner about my anxiety issues: I dont want her to be a prisoner in our house! I'd just like to know definite times mean definite times as its a courtesy I give her (she's anxious too).

Please help me? Sorry for the lengthy post!
 
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Diesel1988

Diesel1988

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2015
Messages
50
Some anxiety techniques I have used where to do stuff that relaxes you, like to have bath and think about something other than the situation, or deep breathing techniques also help, long deep breaths. My personal technique is to watch funny animal videos and laugh a bit, that helps to releave a bit of stress.
 
FriendsAreFriends

FriendsAreFriends

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2015
Messages
59
Location
Norway
HELP CRISIS..:eek:. among me and my friends in the psychiatric system we have an expression call "crisis-maximation." It is the art of blowing a small problem up out of scale. We have another expression called
"natural explanations". Most things have a natural cause that one might not be aware of at the time.

I hope you try to relax, take a bath/shower, some good food, or a little trip outdoors. Anxiety attacs are terrably painful, but not dangerous. It will blow over. Dont send textmessages on the phone while youre upset.

Kenneth.
 
katya

katya

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Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this. You don't sound nuts; it sounds like you're suffering right now. Panic attacks are awful, especially when you're not getting the support you need from a loved one, which makes you panic more. I hope you're feeling better now and have managed to get some sleep.

I know it seems bad right now, and you don't want this sort of thing to be happening all the time, for both of your sakes. But you and your partner can move from this forward together. This can be sorted out.

:)

I think she needs to understand a bit more how her actions are affecting you and modify her behaviour accordingly, and you need strategies to deal with the panic attacks when they come. A bit of a compromise really.

I suffer from panic attacks and my key piece of advice would be: don't give into them; don't 'panic.' I try to ignore the pain in my chest and try to breathe, and they tend to be over fairly quickly.

That's really hard to do when you're anxious over a partner, though - in that respect, I would try to remind yourself that your partner loves you and that everything is okay in that department (your partner should help you with this), recognise that you're having a panic attack and therefore your thoughts should be taken with a pinch of salt, and also you should try to distract yourself with something positive (maybe a comedy show).

It's all much easier said than done, though, I know. :(

Have you seen a doctor about this?

Wish you all the best.
 
D

Disenchanted

Member
Joined
Apr 3, 2015
Messages
12
I know from experience that there aren't many things that exacerbate feelings of anxiety, depression and panic quite like having issues with a romantic partner can.

My advice would be to try and just focus on you at the moment. You can't control your partner's behaviour, and (trust me when I say I speak from experience here) sending angry texts won't help. It'll make you both more frustrated.

During your panic attacks, try to concentrate on nothing else but your breathing. Deep breaths in (so your stomach is pushed fully out), slow and steady breaths out. If you can control your breathing, your body and mind will eventually be more relaxed.

Talking to your partner when you're calm will give you a much better chance of getting the understanding you want and need. But try not to expect too much of her. In these situations, we can tend to want them to 'fix' us, but unfortunately they can't. Concentrate on you. The very best of luck; I hope things start looking up for you.
 
T

The greene

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
3
Thank you for your kind words. I did manage to sleep in the end but only after a massive set-to with my girlfriend who says this is absolutely the last time she can deal with my mania.

I set ridiculously high standards for everyone, particularly romantic partners and ultimately it pushes everyone away.

You are right: I need to fight this and currently I've been giving into the panic and feeling sorry for myself just because it's easier.

I will try breathing exercises as you suggested Disenchanted. Thanks.

Jruth: I am going to the Drs on Tuesday to ask about anxiety medication.
 
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