• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Please help me figure out what I'm experiencing...

S

susan__

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2015
Messages
3
Hi everyone,
After several months of researching various mental health disorders whose symptoms seemed to overlap with mine and several unsuccessful google searches, I haven't been able to pinpoint what it is that I'm experiencing.:low:
From time to time, my mind seems to want to discard my identity, style of thinking, viewpoint and replace it with that of somebody I know; it creates a perception of the way they think and their thought processes and forces me to follow it...I am always aware when this is happening, but it feels out of my control and I am unable to resist it: my mind refuses to accept that logically, I cannot 'become' them. This 'delusion/change in perception' can last anywhere from a few days to two-three weeks, but my outward mannerisms, voice, movement, etc does not change e.g. only I am aware that this is happening.
Some background: A few years ago, I began to experience severe (general) anxiety over prolonged periods of time (a combination of being ill-equipped to cope with high stress levels and friendship pressures, which generated a lot of uncertainty and self-doubt); this gradually brought on depression ( I didn't realize it at the time.). Tired of crying constantly, overanalyzing everything, and bringing those around me down, I decided that the only way to diminish the pain I was feeling was not to feel anything anymore. After that, I suppressed my emotions and pretended everything was okay, and it became a habit. However, the emptiness ( with which I was content) gave way to a different kind of pain....there's this searing hollowness, and my chest always feels tight, like it's carrying a weight that didn't used to be there before. Telling myself I was worthless every night, I suffered a knock in self-confidence, which I think prevented my identity from evolving...I lost sense of who I was. I forced myself to keep up with schoolwork, but lost the passion and interest I previously held, and distanced myself from friends. I simply didn't care. Fastforward a few months, and panic attacks begin (perhaps a manifestation of the increased stress during exam season?). I found techniques that helped calm me down, and thankfully these have stopped. Every few months, however, I experience the delusions/change in perceptions that I have described in the preceding paragraph, and each time it leaves me a little bit more damaged.

Final thoughts: I have researched derealization and the dissociation involved seems to match my experience...could it emerge from this? Or is it simply the product of constant, intense anxiety? Is my subconscious rejecting my identity? Why have I lost control?

I did see a therapist for a short while, but we didn't seem to connect and I got very little out of the experience.

Any insight/suggestion would be appreciated - thank you
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
41,321
Location
The Prancing Pony
Psychosis can manifest in the mentally ill mind. It probably is more common than we think.

I think what helps is taking control of your life - weed out the dead wood.

Perhaps don't go out so much, stay in and nurture yourself.

And its okay to go a little crazy sometimes.
 
S

susan__

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2015
Messages
3
Thank you for your response!

So this is psychosis? Could it link with Primarily Obsessional Disorder? It begins with unwanted intrusive thoughts before escalating to what I've described. It feels as if my intellectual ability and aptitude deteriorates every time this happens, because I'm always exhausted from trying to resist it.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
soulsearcher God please help me. . Depression Forum 95
Signofthetimes Please help so distracted and confused, Depression Forum 16
O Im losing my mind, help please Depression Forum 12
D Someone help me please... I'm so numb I could harm myself Depression Forum 5
H Changing meds and managing depression. Help please Depression Forum 4
U Can you please offer me some help. Depression Forum 9
Fairy Lucretia im so scared please lese help Depression Forum 11
Y Help Please Depression Forum 5
M 11 years of depression improperly treated by incompetents. 3 suicide attempts. PLEASE HELP!!! Depression Forum 8
J help , advise please Depression Forum 6
G Help. Please... Depression Forum 9
L NEED HELP SOMEONE PLEASE Depression Forum 8
W need help please Depression Forum 6
A Please help me. My brother will try to kill himself today. Depression Forum 6
C Please help Depression Forum 15
ParxSP please help, I've had enough Depression Forum 29
Fairy Lucretia im begging please help Depression Forum 20
Fairy Lucretia please please help Depression Forum 8
M please help Depression Forum 4
K Please help I can't live like this Depression Forum 3
Brokenmirror Please help me Depression Forum 25
C Caregiver. Please Tell Me How to Help Depression Forum 2
Brightlight4others Dating & Depression, Please Help Depression Forum 7
L please help. i need to reset my sleep schedule Depression Forum 20
W Climbing way out of dark days please help Depression Forum 19
W Help me. Please! Depression Forum 5
Riah3 should I consider medication PLEASE HELP Depression Forum 10
J Never have had drive in my life help please... Depression Forum 5
J really odd sleep behavior please help Depression Forum 2
P Help Please!! Depression Forum 13
Vinylcard Nothing feels worth it, please help Depression Forum 2
C Worst week of my life :( Please help. Depression Forum 4
M Stressed, depressed, and in a mess! Help please Depression Forum 3
H Citalopram withdrawal - help and advice please Depression Forum 3
A Complete Loss of Interest in Life, Please Help Me Depression Forum 5
C Help please advice from anyone Depression Forum 3
S Suicidal thoughts .. help me please . Depression Forum 12
T Please help Depression Forum 4
M Looking for feedback, please help! Depression Forum 13
L I need help please Depression Forum 3
Fairy Lucretia please help ,i don't know what to do x Depression Forum 31
A Advice/help please Depression Forum 4
A Please help me Depression Forum 8
J What is wrong with me? Please help me understand. Depression Forum 4
T I can't do this anymore...someone please help Depression Forum 3
J Can't stop feeling guilty - Please Help - Long Post Depression Forum 6
D Alot went down last Friday night... Please help Depression Forum 6
A psychotic depression help please Depression Forum 17
S Please help- am I a terrible person? Depression Forum 6
S Really bad anxiety on wellbutrin. Somebody please help! Depression Forum 1

Similar threads

Top