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Please help its for my little girl

F

flower24

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Joined
Mar 19, 2021
Messages
75
Location
South Yorkshire
My daughter is 7 and has been showing signs of OCD, im not sure what to do apart from other reassurance, i dont want to refer her to a doctor yet i want to do everything in my power to help her not labelled.

Her signs are:

She asks every day about when im old and die, she says i dont want you to die, it will take ages for you to get old and this can be repeated for a few mins with me reassuring her.

She says muliple times a day im not doing anything wrong am i mummy she will do this daily for a few weeks then we go bk to me dieing then back to this one again.

she says sometimes she thinks bad thinks she wont tell me what but says its not kind.
which she finds upsetting be cause she is such a well behaved child who is really loving she shares she doesn't like be thought of as not kind.

I just want to know what i can do to help her is there a certain way to reassure or what to say etc she also suffers with night terrors on and off as well but she doesnt remember them .

I dont want her labelled or on medication so reluctant to going to the doctors, is private counselling a option i just dont want her to then feel there is something wrong with her ?
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
11,001
Location
England
My daughter is 7 and has been showing signs of OCD, im not sure what to do apart from other reassurance, i dont want to refer her to a doctor yet i want to do everything in my power to help her not labelled.

Her signs are:

She asks every day about when im old and die, she says i dont want you to die, it will take ages for you to get old and this can be repeated for a few mins with me reassuring her.

She says muliple times a day im not doing anything wrong am i mummy she will do this daily for a few weeks then we go bk to me dieing then back to this one again.

she says sometimes she thinks bad thinks she wont tell me what but says its not kind.
which she finds upsetting be cause she is such a well behaved child who is really loving she shares she doesn't like be thought of as not kind.

I just want to know what i can do to help her is there a certain way to reassure or what to say etc she also suffers with night terrors on and off as well but she doesnt remember them .

I dont want her labelled or on medication so reluctant to going to the doctors, is private counselling a option i just dont want her to then feel there is something wrong with her ?
I wouldn't engage much with these thoughts and turn her attention to positive things. Keeping busy, brownies, tennis, running race for life with you, swimming, friends, reading books, making things, cycling, walking in the woods and naming the trees by taking home a leaf.

That seems to be what other parents do. Constantly teaching them and not dwelling on sadness, not watching the news, not watching telly unless a specific programme, not listening to adult conversations.

If you want to check she is ok, i would get her to write a journal about her day. Maybe then anything suspicious or problematic will come out in her writing and alert you if there is actually a problem.

This is all just my personal instinct and observation of excellent parents and mentally healthy kids.

Children are very influenced by us, our mood our thoughts our conversations with others. If her mind is full of interesting things in the world and not the darker side of life, maybe she will eventually focus on the beautiful world around her.

Do you have a pet? She could have a pet, a hamster or rabbit, and i think they are very good at calming children and giving them something to look forward to seeing in the morning or after school.

There is no harm in you talking to your GP with or without your daughter present to rule out any serious problems. I would think it is only if you accept a referral to a psychologist or CAMHS that a diagnosis would be made. My cousin's son has been diagnosed with anxiety and sees a counsellor via the school which was temporary. He is doing much better now.

I wouldn't worry about labels as one will not be given unless a problem is very serious, and any counselling given will be given only to the most severe cases i would think. We all have problems.

They are small adults, so whatever helps us get through the day, will help them too. If you felt like that, what would help you? The same will probably help your child. A good sleep, a nice bath, nice walk, clean bedroom, calming room, time to be still and quiet, exercise, hot milk, hobbies, friends, we all need the same thing don't we. Positivity, days out, adventures, peace, no stress, no rushing.
 
F

flower24

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2021
Messages
75
Location
South Yorkshire
I wouldn't engage much with these thoughts and turn her attention to positive things. Keeping busy, brownies, tennis, running race for life with you, swimming, friends, reading books, making things, cycling, walking in the woods and naming the trees by taking home a leaf.

That seems to be what other parents do. Constantly teaching them and not dwelling on sadness, not watching the news, not watching telly unless a specific programme, not listening to adult conversations.

If you want to check she is ok, i would get her to write a journal about her day. Maybe then anything suspicious or problematic will come out in her writing and alert you if there is actually a problem.

This is all just my personal instinct and observation of excellent parents and mentally healthy kids.

Children are very influenced by us, our mood our thoughts our conversations with others. If her mind is full of interesting things in the world and not the darker side of life, maybe she will eventually focus on the beautiful world around her.

Do you have a pet? She could have a pet, a hamster or rabbit, and i think they are very good at calming children and giving them something to look forward to seeing in the morning or after school.

There is no harm in you talking to your GP with or without your daughter present to rule out any serious problems. I would think it is only if you accept a referral to a psychologist or CAMHS that a diagnosis would be made. My cousin's son has been diagnosed with anxiety and sees a counsellor via the school which was temporary. He is doing much better now.

I wouldn't worry about labels as one will not be given unless a problem is very serious, and any counselling given will be given only to the most severe cases i would think. We all have problems.

They are small adults, so whatever helps us get through the day, will help them too. If you felt like that, what would help you? The same will probably help your child. A good sleep, a nice bath, nice walk, clean bedroom, calming room, time to be still and quiet, exercise, hot milk, hobbies, friends, we all need the same thing don't we. Positivity, days out, adventures, peace, no stress, no rushing.
Thank you for your reply, this is exactly what i do now, with all the distraction in the world if she says the words am i doing anything wrong you have to answer or she will keep repeating it till you do.

I like the diary idea im going to try that and go and pick her up a fancy diary, make it feel speacial, thank you again.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
11,001
Location
England
Thank you for your reply, this is exactly what i do now, with all the distraction in the world if she says the words am i doing anything wrong you have to answer or she will keep repeating it till you do.

I like the diary idea im going to try that and go and pick her up a fancy diary, make it feel speacial, thank you again.
A little 9 year old once told me that she wanted to die. I told her parents. Another woman once told me that her daughter cries and says she wants to die. She was an emotional child. Both children had very happy homes and good parents. It is maybe not as uncommon as people would think. It doesn't mean we should ignore it but maybe it is reassuring to know it is something many parents have to work through.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,740
Location
Nashua NH
I would try to find a way to get her into counseling. For the OCD, for the bad thoughts and the night terrors. All three to me tell us that you are in over your head with this and could use some support. A good counselor should be able to get her to talk about what bad thoughts she is having and also help with the night terrors, OCD behavior. Getting her help now would take some of the pressure off you in being the only one trying to manage it and help to imrove the quality of her life. These are all big things for a little person to struggle with and I think it would be good for both of you to have some support and professional help in managing this. xo, j
 
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