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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Please help I trapped in my mind.

H

Harlej

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Nov 22, 2020
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Evrope
Doctors diagnosed me with anxiety and depression, but I'm not sure. The problem is that I feel very empty. I feel like I live only in my head and in reality. Old memories, songs, various phrases I heard somewhere flash in my head. I feel like I'm getting lost.
My mind dropped in 5 years. I am not able to solve a logical problem.
My memory is terrible. I can barely remember what it was like in the morning. Life is just next to me, I won't get involved. I only do things I have to do, otherwise I don't like anything. They communicate poorly with people, I think I'll stop talking. Please write if someone has the same. Thank you very much. PS: I don't speak much English, so I write using a translator. I'm sorry for mistakes.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Hello, i understood well what you had written. This feeling you have, the doctors do call depression. What was your life like before you felt this way? Or have you always felt this way?
 
H

Harlej

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Nov 22, 2020
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Evrope
hi, my life before that was normal. At 18, I got too drunk. It was different from the good. Somehow I forgot about it and I didn't solve it because it wasn't so bad. When I was 21, hell came. Suddenly I couldn't sleep. He was anxious at night. It took about 1 month. One day I was sitting in school listening to the teacher when I suddenly fell completely into my mind and stopped noticing things around, I immediately woke up, but as if I had stayed in that head for a while. Over time, I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper into that head. Something like dreaming 24/7. Nini is 26 and I feel that the thoughts are no longer so clear, I don't like hobbies like drunkenness and I feel like I'm gradually losing awareness of reality. I feel empty ...
 
D

Deleted member 91323

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Hello Harlej. Welcome to the forum. Have you ever spoken to a doctor about how you feel? It sounds like it would be helpful to have some professional help. You have done amazingly well to write your posts using a translator.
 
H

Harlej

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Hi, yes the doctor said it was depression and anxiety, but I don't think so. I'm writing to see if anyone has similar symptoms. PS: I'm glad you understand what I'm writing. I didn't really trust google translation :)
 
D

Deleted member 91323

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Hi, yes the doctor said it was depression and anxiety, but I don't think so. I'm writing to see if anyone has similar symptoms. PS: I'm glad you understand what I'm writing. I didn't really trust google translation :)
May I ask why you do not feel your doctor is right about you having anxiety and depression?
 
H

Harlej

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because I feel like I'm slowly losing awareness of reality and at the same time becoming stupider every year. I don't think this is true for depression.
 
D

Deleted member 91323

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Have you ever heard of dissociation? This is when our mind can feel like it is shutting down and stopping us from being in the present. I am wondering if you are experiencing that.
 
H

Harlej

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Nov 22, 2020
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Evrope
Yes, I've heard of her before. But I don't feel separated. On the contrary, I feel trapped in my head and the world around me seems indistinct. My thoughts are pictorial and it's like saying them out loud in my head. I don't even know how to describe it anymore.
 
D

Deleted member 91323

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That does sound very difficult for you. I hope other members will have more insight into that.
 
H

Harlej

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it's awful, but at the same time I'm so numb that I don't "seem" to mind. Strange.
 
one light

one light

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This post caught my eye last night - translator is working perfect apart from Europe is spelled incorrectly - I take it you've looked into the obvious to me - grounding and not overuse of the internet gaming/messaging or too much television - walks in nature might help feeling the ground under your feet when walking...
 
L

Luali

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Aug 25, 2020
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Hey Harlej! you well explained in english how you feel:) Sounds difficult. I understand how far-reaching your current experience of your perception must be.

I agree with one light's advice. Being in nature often helps to free the senses. Especially, just walking through the landscapes trying to perceive on whats around you. Like just listen the noises, watching the landscape, feeling the air, without deciding what you perceive. And then again trying to feel your body, observing your breath and heartbeat; and yourself within the landscapes. I experienced doing so as a very grounding and thought-clearing act. Maybe it helps you stepping out of your thoughts a bit.

But for sure this doesn't replace going to someone for help; it sounds indeed like a depressive phasis, basically your bodily metabolism clouding the mind! (I know from some people who went through a depressive episode, who experienced a similar cut off and dark cloudy feeling in their minds, like loosing themselves in their thought, feeling as if not really present, like a spectator of whats happening around rather than being a awaken part of it and feeling tired of explaining and interacting)

Sticking to professional help will surely help, because it isn't a abnormality, but a mental imbalance (which can btw and does happen to so many ppl at some point in their lives, so you're not alone in that); and even if it might doesn't feel like it now, can be overcome with the right support.

Hope this advice helps. :)
 
D

Deleted member 93850

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When anxiety becomes severe you can experience concentration problems and racing thoughts. This explains why you have difficulty with problem solving and retaining memories.

I would highly suggest reading a medical book about anxiety and depression disorders. Since the book will be written in your language it will educate you about it.

You can improve your condition.
 
H

Harlej

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Joined
Nov 22, 2020
Messages
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Evrope
Many thanks to everyone for their answers. I still don't think it's anxiety and depression. I don't feel sad. I was anxious only when this condition started, because I didn't know what would happen. He was literally drowned in his head 24/7, his thoughts were pictorial and very lively. I literally saw them before my eyes. Thus, I had a limited perception of reality. After 5 years, these thoughts subsided and they are again very quiet and I can not think clearly. This condition developed over a period of 5 years and never returned to normal for a minute. On the contrary, I'm starting to go stupid and slowly dull feelings, etc. Life and reality are gradually dampening and dampening :( I think I'll be demented in a moment :( I would like to add that before the start I had strange thoughts such as I'll be here again in an hour "or even thoughts about myself who I am, etc. We were already desperate, no antidepressants helped me get rid of this condition. I think it's schizophrenia, but I don't have hallucinations, etc. Thank you very much for the answers.
 
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