please help ,i don't know what to do x

Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#1
so I love him more than anything in the world
and I know im being shallow
but he is so handsome and clever
and I am so so ugly and dumb
I took photos of myself this morning and I looked awful

I know is shallow and im a complete pain keep posting

but how can I allow him to waste his life on me when he could do so much better :cry:

im a shallow bitch but is making me ill
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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#2
It's easy to love others but learning to love yourself is the hardest thing to do.

You're both still early days yet, give it time.
 
daffy

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#3
It’s just your insecurities coming to the surface Lu. You deserve to be happy and UH is lucky to have such a good person as you. Try and think positive of yourself for once.
 
Topcat

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#6
Honestly? You can't go by your own opinion! Particularly if you have low self esteem.
I think I'm hideous, in photos I'm triple hideous! I don't think my own opinion of me is going to change, but other people see you differently. Especially people who love you. And the more you like someone, the better they look! If only we liked ourselves that much!
You should just try to accept that he thinks you're wonderful just the way you are! It's hard to work on what you think about yourself, but hopefully you can see yourself the way he/others see you in time.
Do you have times where you think actually you're quite pretty? Rare occasions I think I look nice (but never ever in photos!)
I'm sure you're being hard on yourself xxx
 
Topcat

Topcat

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#7
Have you ever tried daily positive affirmations? I keep meaning to try it. Where you say the same positive message to yourself over and over each day (even if you think it's rubbish to start with) until you soak your brain with the positive message and you start to believe it. Maybe we should try it?


Sorry, am going on a bit
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#8
topcat ,I do have times very rarely when I think im ok looking but my dad used to tell me I was ugly all the time when I was younger ,it has stuck
I think I would feel better if I lost weight

and just after mummy died I met someone on a mh dating site and he was all over me until we met and then he didn't want to know so I must be ugly xxx
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#9
topcat ,I do have times very rarely when I think im ok looking but my dad used to tell me I was ugly all the time when I was younger ,it has stuck
I think I would feel better if I lost weight

and just after mummy died I met someone on a mh dating site and he was all over me until we met and then he didn't want to know so I must be ugly xxx
im scared of that happening again x
 
Topcat

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#10
topcat ,I do have times very rarely when I think im ok looking but my dad used to tell me I was ugly all the time when I was younger ,it has stuck
I think I would feel better if I lost weight

and just after mummy died I met someone on a mh dating site and he was all over me until we met and then he didn't want to know so I must be ugly xxx
I can understand how it sticks, there weren't many compliments in my house either, and most locals thought I was a boy for years, lol.
I think with the guy who disappeared after meeting, it's most likely not because of looks. I think for a lot of people they love the online stuff, they have confidence, can be a person they maybe aren't in real life, then when it becomes real they can't deal with being their true self around someone who only knows the online version so they vanish. Their own insecurities come out, people panic, it's hard not to take it personally though :hug: xx
 
LadyDomino

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#11
@Fairy Lucretia ~ A photograph merely shows a snap shot of our shell at one split second in time, it doesn't show who we really are inside. You say your fella is clever - if he is then let him make his own decision to see your inner beauty.

@Topcat ~ The internet is both a blessing and a curse. It gives us each other, finding support where otherwise we would not have it; but it also allows people to live out fantasies of who they wish they were, but are afraid to really be.
 
pinscher chi

pinscher chi

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#12
so I love him more than anything in the world
and I know im being shallow
but he is so handsome and clever
and I am so so ugly and dumb
I took photos of myself this morning and I looked awful

I know is shallow and im a complete pain keep posting

but how can I allow him to waste his life on me when he could do so much better :cry:

im a shallow bitch but is making me ill

I think you need to trust HIS view/opinion/feelings about you. He is in control of his own life and he CHOOSES to be with you. You clearly consider him a wonderful person, so trust that this wonderful person has the ability and intelligence to choose to be with someone who is worthy of him, and that person is you.
 
Urban Hermit

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#15
@Fairy Lucretia ~ A photograph merely shows a snap shot of our shell at one split second in time, it doesn't show who we really are inside. You say your fella is clever - if he is then let him make his own decision to see your inner beauty.
I like being called your fella XXX
Wise words I made my choice to be with you ... And apparently I'm clever .. xxx
 
Urban Hermit

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#16
I think you need to trust HIS view/opinion/feelings about you. He is in control of his own life and he CHOOSES to be with you. You clearly consider him a wonderful person, so trust that this wonderful person has the ability and intelligence to choose to be with someone who is worthy of him, and that person is you.
All of the yes's !
I couldn't have said it better myself xxx
 
E

EstherRose94

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#17
so I love him more than anything in the world
and I know im being shallow
but he is so handsome and clever
and I am so so ugly and dumb
I took photos of myself this morning and I looked awful

I know is shallow and im a complete pain keep posting

but how can I allow him to waste his life on me when he could do so much better :cry:

im a shallow bitch but is making me ill
I am HORRIBLE at taking photos, especially of myself. So mine always look pretty rough if I take them haha. I don’t think I realistically look the way I do in the photos I take lol.
 
J

Jules5

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#18
I never have liked photos of myself I am just to critical and I certainly do not look like a model. I dyed my hair yesterday I told myself I want to look pretty. So I know just how you feel. Believe me it is a inside job that makes a relationship work. Lots of hugs Lu
 
Mayflower7

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#20
Lu,
Please don't be unkind towards yourself, we are all beautiful especially inside.
The trust will grow as your relationship deepens.
Take care
 

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