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Please get help for self harming as soon as you can. My story

D

Dweani

Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Finland
Self harming took over my life at one point in my life. I hope that by reading this at least someone could get the courage to seek help.

I started self harming as a depressed teenager at 13 with harming my arms. I did this maybe once every few months when life was being hard. Soon I started to do it more and eventually every time I was anxious. My body started to get used to the harm so I started to increase the harm. I won't tell what I did but one time when I was feeling absolutely horrible after a big fight with my family I switched the way I self harmed and this wound was worse than before. In a weird way I felt good about myself for making more harm. THIS IS A DANGEROUS FEELING AND YOU SHOULD SEEK HELP. Greater selfharm does not make your self harm more valid or people to take your pain more seriously. Self harm is dangerous no matter how big the wound or scratch is. Every kind of self harming is worth seeking help. You are worth seeking help. You don't need to prove people you feel bad, if they don't believe you they are the problem not you.

If you still keep reading everything went downhill from here. I needed to make bigger self harm to get the same feeling from as before. I switched to harming my legs since the scars started to get visible. The self harming got worse and worse and I did it multiple times a week. They would take months to heal and leave huge purple scars. I started to look disfigured by all the scarring but I couldn't stop. One time I harmed so bad I lost some function from my ankle. The nerve never healed and I am going to have that nerve damage for the rest of my life. The spiraling to this stage happened quite fast but finding other coping mechanisms than self harm took years. I am now 24 and I have been 1 year clean. But the consequences will follow me for the rest of my life.

Now you might feel that it doesn't matter if you get scars or even think that there is no future. But most likely there is a future and even a bright one ahead of you. When you find help as early as possible you have great chances to feel happy and good again. Many people don't know this but when you have had severe mental health problems for years or decades the chances of recovery are almost non-existent. I am one of those people. I have been depressed over 15 years, my severe depression is chronic and there is a good change I may never recover. I am not working or studying because I am too sick. This is not the life you want or deserve.

This post can be deleted if it is too harsh or is seen as promoting self harm. I tried to not tell any details and I DO NOT want to promote any self harm.
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
7,585
Location
Teesside
Hi Dweani
Thank you for sharing your story with the forum!
Well done for being 1 year self harm free. I know it takes a lot to stop and stay stopped. Especially with all the chaos that is going on in the world right now.
Hugs
Fox
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
620
Location
UK
Beautiful. Stay blessed.
 
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