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Please could someone help me

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SianB

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Nov 11, 2014
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UK
Hi, I feel an idiot writing this but I'm so confused and really need help. Iv been dieting for about a year now and have lost a lot of weight.

My boyfriend is really worried and Iv tried everything to reassure him that I am fine as Iv not lost an extreme amount of weight in a short period of time but getting nasty verbal abuse from him, calling me names has really hurt me. He wants me to put weight on but I honestly don't no how to because my mind won't let me. I can't bare the thought of putting FAT on.

So I finally decided to go to see the nurse at my doctors practice, just to see if my boyfriends concerns are real. So the nurse told me I had to put quite a bit of weight on to be healthy. She made me a doctors appointment for tomorrow (12/11/14) about being refered as she thinks I have a problem but I don't think I actually do. I no I'm underweight but I'm not drastically underweight and when I get really depressed I stuff myself while crying like a big fat baby! I go to the gym 4 times a week for an hour at a time unless I have an emotion eat in which case I exercise for 2 hours cos I feel so guily :(

I hope you all won't judge me because I am really at a low point in my life.

Thank you for reading x
 
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MarlieeB

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Of course we won't judge you Sian.

How did the Doctors appointment go?

Marliee x
 
blueflames

blueflames

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It sounds like you may have a problem but it is not for me to judge/diagnose you.

I hope it goes well with the doctor and well done foe going to get it checked out xx
 
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volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
Id say your boyfriend needs to stop giving you nasty verbal abuse, is there no nice way he could formulate himself? i dont know if you have a problem or not, i dont know your weight or anything but judging from your pic you look like alot of girls that i know, some of them are friends and some are not.

However, if it's spiralling down then it's something to worry about what is your current weight and height at the moment?

However what i do need to say is that the more you exercise the more you need to eat, we burn x amount of calories just sitting still aswell and walking around, ill paste this.

Daily Calories

Herzog estimates that, if you're an average person, you need to eat between 1,000 and 1,400 calories per day to run your body doing absolutely nothing. If you move around a little bit, then you need to eat an additional 400 to 600 calories per day. Herzog cautions that these are general figures, and that only a trained dietician can advise you on your specific, daily calories needs.

And i will rest my case on that matter, however if you exercise you need more.


BELOW IS A GUIDE TO MAINTAINING YOUR WEIGHT, THIS SHOULD BE YOUR OPTION.

If you've reached your goal weight - which should be equivalent to a BMI of 18.5 to 24.9 - congratulations are in order!

While you should celebrate your achievement, it's important not to lose sight of your goals or forget all the healthy habits you've worked so hard to put into place.

Once you've been at your goal weight for two weeks, you'll need to adjust how much you eat to shift into the weight-maintenance phase. The main change will be an increase in the number of calories you eat and drink.

While to some people this is a very welcome change, for others it can be quite difficult to jump off the weight-loss train.

Watching the kilos drop off can become addictive, but it's important to stop before you lose too much - being underweight has its health risks too! (For more on this, see Goal 3 below.) So it's not a good idea to eat at the same rate as when you were aiming for weight-loss.

After increasing the number of calories you eat to the maintenance level, you'll have to continue monitoring your weight to make sure you stay within 1kg to 2kg of your goal weight.

Because everyone is different, you might find that you're starting to put on weight again, in which case you should cut back and eat fewer calories until your weight stabilises. And if the weight is still dropping off, you'll have to boost your calorie intake a bit more.

Keep exercising as hard as when you were trying to lose weight. Don't scale back on your workouts in a bid to halt your weight loss - you can always adjust how many calories you eat if need be.

To find out exactly how many calories you should eat each day to maintain your weight.


Aditionally here is a calculator to gain weight, i believe this is you now,
Moderatetely active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/week)

Here you can calculate calories needed to gain weight if the doctor believes you are underweight.
The Most Accurate Calories to Gain Weight

Just some copy-paste, a link and my personal opinion the rest needs to be adressed with the nurse.

Hope this helped a little.
 
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SianB

Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2014
Messages
11
Location
UK
Thank you for your replies. Well I went to the doctor and she has refered me to speak to someone because of my BMI ( don't really get it).

I have to admit I am really scared at the moment because I feel stupid having to see someone when I'm not actually severly underweight and I don't want them to look at me funny.

I don't think I have a problem as I do eat, I just don't eat over a certain amount of calories.

Thank you once again x
 
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MarlieeB

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Isn't it worth going to see anyone, anyway just to make sure you are 100% right.

Sometimes when we are in the grip of an issue (not saying you have one, I'm not a Doctor) we can't see everything.

It also gives you a health check which is always a good thing.

If your BMI is considered low as well they may want to try and investigate and see whether there is any underlying issue. I saw what you said about your BMI etc and that, IMO is really not healthy hun.
 
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SianB

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UK
Oooops I don't think I'm allowed to write my weight sorry x
 
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Nicola398

Guest
Sian,I am not going to judge you.it sounds like your bf and others are very worried about you.We want to help you and get you back to health if you are not well. You seem quite a lot underweight for your height IMO.I am 5" 7 and my BMI should be around 25 .If your calorie intake is low and you are not exceeding it, you may feel you eat enough but you may not be eating enough to get sufficient or the right nutrients and your body may be burning its own muscle for fuel instead of what you eat.Also you may have little or no fat in your body and not getting the right fatty acids through your present diet.Your physical health might be at risk if you do not gain weight.I know it doesn't make sense to you but it sounds like you could have the early signs of anorexia IMO.The doctor must be worried and have good cause to refer you.
Why not go to the refferal and find out what the doctors concerns for you at your current weight are and take things from there,see what they say they think is the best course of action.You will at least find out if what your bf and GP say is really something to be worried about!Nicolax
 
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MarlieeB

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Oooops I don't think I'm allowed to write my weight sorry x
It's hard sometimes. We have all said things unintentionally in our time. It happens more than you think :)

x
 
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volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
Dont worry about that, im not sure if i even remember it now i was gonna get back to writing a reply to it, sorry tiredtina if this was out of order, ill refrain from asking those questions again.

You are not aiming to be a model or something? the normal weight for them is not normal weight in most cases, and you should shtrive for a healthy weight, where you are still relatively skinny but not in a danger zone, if that's what you enjoy, clearly you like going to the gym nothing wrong with that and im sure you'd see pleasurable results even though you ate some more, and remember when you exercise for 2 hours, dont know what intensity but then your body usually needs even more calories, follow the calculator for gaining or maintaining weight, id suggest first gaining and then maintaining.

Best of luck to you.
 
Prospector

Prospector

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Oct 24, 2013
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I would recommend some protein powder mixed with milk taken with a multivitamin supplement. The body uses protein to rebuild itself and as a precursor to important brain chemicals. Protein is not normally used as a fuel source for our bodies. Check with your doctor before doing this of course.

Oh, and welcome to MHF Sian. :cheer:
 
ClimberGirl

ClimberGirl

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Oct 31, 2014
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Location
Birmingham UK
Hi Sian,

There are two problems here, your weight and your boyfriend's behaviour. The doctors can advise best about weight, and though it's scary, do hang on and listen to them. You can always write on here about it afterwards.

Your boyfriend clearly cares about you and wanted to bully you into stopping or seeking medical attention (the latter worked, if only to prove him wrong!), but it's not a good technique because it isolates you and increases your anxiety, which you could take out on yourself. Talk to him about his behaviour and explain how, if he wants to look after you, what you need is support and somehow to hold your hand, not burn you when you mess up. There are a few good sites of advice for supporting people with mental health issues (esp depression-specific, but this would still be helpful) that you could look at together.

I hope things get better.
 
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