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Planned procrastination panic.

tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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My daughter will be coming to visit me for the first time here...we have had a very strained relationship for the most part for the last decade.

She is near OCD and high strung about keeping her house as near to perfect as can be. (She grew up in a decently kept home, I was not ill then..never good enough for my mom tho :( )

My housekeeping since I moved here has been non-existent other than doing dishes.

My meds are really sedating and I have no motivation nor energy.

So I waited until I have 5 days to put the whole house in order at least surface level. It's like moving in...as there is much that was never sorted when we did move in.

My stamina sucks and I tire easily. So far I have spent the whole day washing down the bathroom. I just have the floor to do to finish it. I have broken it down into small efforts at a time and taken numerous breaks, responding on here.

For my own sake I am going to keep coming back to this thread to help me achieve what I intend to.

It may seem a petty manner but it is a big goal and a big effort for me.

I do think how happy I will feel, when finally things are orderly even if I know I have bagsfull of stuff hidden in storage bin, under bed & etc. Still it will be pleasing not to be surrounded by mess.

and I so want things to go well with my daughter.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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It sounds as though you are making every effort possible and have achieved a lot already.

It doesn't sound petty at all. I know how hard it can be when everything is such a struggle but, knowing that you have done so much and will also feel better yourself, is encouraging.

It's good to take rests in between. You'll wear yourself out if you don't. Just pace yourself and allow for plenty of breaks.

I hope your time with your daughter goes well and is enjoyable.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Thank you Purple Chaos, you have been such a blessing to me today.

I finished the bathroom and have started to find my bedroom floor. roll eyes. lol

We have both been slobs. There are enough clothes to outfit an army but few fit our sizes and my age anymore.

My schedule calls for me to finish the bedroom today..feeling sluggish after dinner....but if I make a pact with myself, as I have with this, I can be pretty stubborn and determined.

Off to make a few feet square ready for partner to vacuum tomorrow.

loves yas!
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Was just about to log out when I saw your post. Lol. Thank you. You've made my evening!

Best of luck with it all. Sounds as though you're making great progress!

Goodnight.
 
blueflames

blueflames

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Well done you. Keep us posted on your progress :)

It can be really hard to get anything done when o the meds so you should feel proud of yourself

Stay determined xxx
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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well now...I discovered that cleaning at the end of the bed was easy because apparently that is where my dearly loved one deposits all his dirty clothes. lol

also handy to have 2 spare suitcases to dump stuff in and put in closet. also have plastic storage bins we used to move that I can fill up and put in storage building.

Under the bed is surprisingly empty.

My daughter won't be here long at all, she is coming to pick us up to take us to her house for Thanksgiving and hopefully we will travel to visit my parents (my mother's health is seriously failing). It's a 7 hr drive from her house to here so I will be prepared for her to spend the night. So I can get away with a crisis surface cleaning.

I hope being at her home which I LOVE will be inspiring to me and when I get back I want to get back on the Flylady program and keep up the progress and get things the way I really want them to be.

ok, easiest half of floor is picked up.

Just got to keep pushing at it.

(progress report is mainly for my sake...thanks for the support given)
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Thank you, thank you, thank you, Domaine!

Working on a buddy system is greatly helpful to me, so each word of support is invaluable.

2/3d done. beginning to wear down but your words motivate me to meet my goal for today.

A lesson not to languish over morning coffee so long tomorrow.

This last third is where my pile of sorting is, so won't go as quickly. But if I have to I will break it down to picking up 15 things at a time, take a break, repeat until done.

:dance: I will get to sleep in an uncluttered room tonight too! I hadn't thought of that yet.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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You guys did it!!!
I admit I almost wimped out on the last part. But I could not bring myself to waste your encouragement and your faith in me. and to fail myself.

It wasn't as much work and trouble to finish as I anticipated. I nearly cheered for joy when I opened the big suitcase we would need expecting it to be crammed full and it was EMPTY!

David walked thro the bedroom on his way to the bathroom and EXCLAIMED "OH SHIT!!" Then "You really got a lot done."
Super big deal, as I am not sure I have ever heard that tone of voice out of him + he does not use swear words but rarely.

Too many times he has heard me express intentions, plans for the next day that never happen and he doesn't really have any expectations of me other than remaining faithful to him and our relationship. (Which is a given.)
That's kind of sad.

The bedroom is still fugly and in disrepair. And I plan to tear that bathroom out in the future. I bought a fixer upper knowing we would have to re-do everything but on a low fixed income, that is a slow process and it will be the last room to get attention.
We are talking tearing things out to the frame and re-building. Lotsa $$$ needed but to me it is a capital investment tho in truth I have already spent 10's of thousands and we would never recoup close to that from an older trailer home but I do own it outright, paid in full.....so I am fixing it up to make me happy to live in. I do have to pay lot rental, we could not afford land.

I got a settlement from the govt because my prior (and in wonderful shape but smaller) mobile home was destroyed in a tornado that I used to buy this one. Pretty neat getting to choose my location! and we moved cross country.
A year and 1/2 ago I got my disability settlement and invested that starting in the other end of the trailer. New insulation, walls, paint, flooring, furniture, art...everything but the window and it needs a new one. Converting the 3d bedroom into his office.
Knocked out and removed the small bathroom, took down walls to combine it with 2d bedroom to make one large and very nice bathroom and a wide hallway with built in bookshelves down one side. Was not able to finish the fantasy spa bath. I got the flooring in and all the fixtures including a large jacuzzi but the plumbing isn't finished nor the walls and I need lighting, some electrical work too, I think. That has been stalled out and David has been putting his efforts into winterizing and outdoor work while the weather was still amenable.

David did hook up the wiring to the jacuzzi motor recently but our water heater isn't big enough so had to heat water on the stove which he did one day while I was napping to surprise me. In the end he was the one thrilled with it and pronounced it "amazing". It is a luxury but a practical one in my mind. He already has a bad knee which soaking helps. And aging usually means our joints become more stiff and sometimes painful, so we have built in hydrotherapy for easing and comforting aging aches and pains.

Also built him a small shop as there is no storage inside and we actually had a table saw in the living room for awhile. He enjoys it and has made it worthwhile with all the work he has done fixing up the outside & etc. He just overcame his depression a few months ago but has been go-go-gadget ever since. Well, until I found out how much he was spending at Lowe's.

I am sitting here a little chagrined that he did not express as much enthusiasm over his freaking built-for-him office! Go figure. The only thing in that room that is to my taste and perfect, I think, even tho others are not able to see it is the art. To heck with the others. I studied art history and visited more than a few art museums.

Just putting in background and setting.

My plan and goal for tomorrow is to clean the living room, the hallway and bookcases. Much easier than what I tackled today. I will wash the two paneled walls that I haven't been able to replace yet to freshen up from tobacco and kitty cat odors. The other walls are drywall that hasn't been painted yet.

Gosh, I am starting to get excited about my home again, which I haven't since we ran out of remodeling money.

Hope you don't mind the novella.

(((many hugs)))
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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Wow you've taken a lot onto yourself and in the rebuilding of your fixer upper. I know what thats like, the frustrations and sometimes it seems like it's never going to end. My last long term ex and I built our house from the ground up, With only the foundation, roof trusses and brick being outsourced, everything else we did ourselves, or with a few friends for the bigger stuff, and yes those damn hidden expenses are hard to keep control of. I'm glad to hear things are coming together for you and you can actually enjoy your home now. Good work and good luck in your endevors.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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wow, Gajolene, you are one of my heroine figures. I have always wanted to be like that and be able to do those things. I am not much use with even simple things like a screwdriver or hammer. So I am uber impressed with your tale. It would slay me to work together like that and then wind up breaking up and losing the home that is truly the labor of my own hands, time and love.
I would love to hear more about it, no detail too small.

I should change every "I" statement in my post to we and they. I paid for everything. I hired a handyman to take the lead on my projects. David worked long days beside him. I was the one with the plans and directions. I want this taken out and I want this installed here etc. I did all the shopping, choosing the flooring, fixtures, lighting, paint, furniture and did the ordering. The guys did the work to implement my projects.

I drank coffee late at night thinking I needed it to boost me to finish...I didn't need it after all but still drank it. So I got caught up on an email my mother in law has been asking for and next thing I know I have stayed up all night. So I have only slept 3 hours. Not a good way to start today.

I lose all track of time when reading or writing.

One way or another I will find a way to meet my goals for today as I am tightly scheduled (on purpose) to have things done when Dayna arrives.
 
M

Mastiff mom

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Way to go, Tiltawhirl! You are inspiring me! Hope everything goes well with your daughter. Have a lovely time!
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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What are your projects, Mastiff Mom?
Everyone has been so very generous with me, I will happily cheerlead you on.
Do you find house keeping overwhelming too?
You have child(ren) at home tho don't you. That really helps to keep one on schedule with daily routines.

Your post means a lot, thank you.

I could kick my butt to there and back. Staying up all night totally sabotaged today. I've been useless on so little sleep. Plus taking my night meds so late I have been a zombie all day. What a dumbass thing to do!

I am just so pissed at screwing up my plans. Sucks when I was so proud by the end of yesterday's chores.

I picked up just a few things but not enough that anyone would notice.

This is probably not the best idea, but I do often have more energy in the evening altho not this evening, but I just asked David to make me a pot of coffee, hoping for a boost to pick up and tidy. There isn't enough light to wash and polish the living room furniture. That will have to wait for tomorrow. and he has been working on the wiring so there is no light in the hallway to do that and the bookcases. But if I tidy everything up, pick up, fold laundry and get a couple more loads started then I won't feel I am starting at zero tomorrow.
We installed a gorgeous and very unique ceiling fan with light in the living room but he has that electrical circuit unhooked too...or I could do more.

Tomorrow and the next day and maybe even part of a 3d day are needed in the kitchen. Besides a mountain of laundry, I have to scrub everything down. The trash can, inside the frig, hand scrub the floor.

______________
Coffee made. Successful cheat accomplished. There was a bunch of mail and paperwork and compact discs and misc I was to sort out. I just stuffed it all in a kitchen trash bag and put it all in a drawer. Now that is noticable progress and much needed. NOW I feel a little bitty bit better.
Am waiting for the coffee and Goodie's powders to start to kick in.

_________________
floor picked up and ready to vacuum.
Next, the sofa where I sit is strewn with otc meds we take and use everyday...Rolaids, ibuprofen and muy etc., my purse, cigs, backscratcher. I guess even tho it will be a daily inconvenience for a few days, I think I will go ahead and put them in the suitcase.
taking a coffee break atm.

_________________________
cleared off good enough, put most meds in my purse, those that don't fit in suitcase.
oh hell, now I am down to folding and putting away a huge load of whites. dreadful chore. I hate it.
I twisted David's arm to start a load of laundry for himself but he didn't start the machine right, so I had to go do that and I can see he didn't sort out his clothes at all. I tossed in one winter shirt for him. The rest probably needs to go in storage or Goodwill.

______________
half folded. he can match up his own socks and put his own clothes away. No hints needed, they are stacked on his chair.
all folded, that hurt my back bending like that.

_____________________
done
 
AliceinWonderland

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Well done tiltawhirl, you did it! Massive achievement, you should be so proud :love: Enjoy your tidy space, and I hope your daughter's visit goes well :hug:
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Thank you so very much, Alice.

It is the support here that has kept me going and on task.

I did not get to go to bed early or on time again last night.
My daughter called rather late and we talked for hours. I do cherish that.

But I woke up wiped out. I took a sleeper and turned around went back to bed and slept most of the day.
Just now getting up. Will take a bit to wake up due to drowsy hangover from that trazadone I took.

Too late again to clean furniture, hallway, bookcases....it gets dark so early now. Those are easy tasks tho, so not too worried about being able to get them done.

I will get started on the kitchen in a little while.

I did, however find I have an extra day to get things done.
 
W

white-witch

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Just read through this thread tiltawhirl and wanted to say I know how very hard it is to try and get housework and washing done at times and I, like you, do tend to put it off till the last week or whatever before the visit. I am so pleased you are getting through it all and I hope your daughters visit with you is a lovely one.

My place I use to clean and clean before my outspoken arrogant and house proud son arrived and still he would criticise because it 'smells of smoke'. It mattered no that I had smoked outside more than inside for the few days before he came and would smoke outside all the time he was here - he would still complain.

We are not speaking at all now, too much emotional abuse from him, but I actually find it good that I do not have to clean in a frenzy for a visit that always went wrong. My other son does not care about mess or the smell of smoke and he is the one who lives the closest the other one is over 250 miles away and that is fine with me!

I am sorry to moan but just wanted to say sometimes people do expect you to live up to their standards and have no understanding of how hard it is for many of us to do that. I use to keep my homes lovely when my boys were growing up and now I am not good enough because I do not 'try hard enough' and 'he would not even bother with me f I was not his mother' youngest son sits in judgement of me. He is 33 years old and very similar to his father with his arrogance and 'putting me down' and I just cannot deal with him right now.

I have lived here 3 years and had boxes still unpacked got them sorted with the help of MH support worker and then had the bungalow decorated so had to box things up for that and so I still have lots of boxes...lol.

I have a carer twice a week now for 3 hours in total. I find with her doing the hoovering and changing the bed and bits and bobs it makes me more inclined to keep things in some order and sometimes I get quite a lot done considering. I always feel better when it is clean and tidy, even with the boxes in the spare room and behind the sofa.

It been rather cold and grey here and if I have not slept well I take another sleeper and go back to bed. I set a target for today to actually get dressed and go out and see people and I did it. I have to set targets now because I think I have SAD along with bipolar because this is when I get very low and I must avoid that or it sometimes trips me into full-blown depression.

We must keep fighting the good fight!

Take care xxx:hug:
 
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