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pit of dispair.... oh dear.. sorry little long

N

noodlepixie

Guest
Hi all, am at an all time low, ive had probs with my daughter being in hospital for not eating and drinking shes 9, shes now out of hospital and under a camhs community nurse, he adds stress 3 times has asked me if my illness is why my daughter struggles at times, we have to buy her whatever she wants to eat which i will do obviously but its just turning into a game... weve got money worries, housing worries im finding it really difficult to deal with everything, ive got 2 other daughters one who is 12 the other is 12 months old..who need my attention too and im aaaaaaaaaaahhh stuggling... ive got appointments with my psyciatrist in a couple of weeks and my daughter whos having problems sees a psyciatrist in a weeks time... i just feel im the only one dealing with it all..

have reached the bottom, im struggling to sleep or just want to sleep, i want to run away from it all, i self harm and is having a hard job trying to keep that under control, i suffer with paranoia and thats not good at the moment...

don't know what to do sorry for rambling i don't want sympathy just my head hurts im hurting and im confused..... help...
 
Last edited:
intelgal

intelgal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
1,413
Location
Yorkshire
Hiya Noodlepixie (great aname btw)


You sound like you ve got a hell of a lot of stress going on at the moment and I personally cannot imagine going through any of that.

The forum is great.. what about starting a journal it can be a great way of venting your feelings and thoughts in a safe way.

Is there anyway you can bring you psy appointment forward or visit gp as a bridgegap untill your appointment?

Please take care

Intelgal
 
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noodlepixie

Guest
ive got the crisis teams number if i need to ring them but ive never delt with them before and get very nervous about the response... especially when i have my 1 poorly daughter at home.. don't know what she may hear..
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi noodlepixie

I'm so sorry that you are still having a hard time, it sounds like you have so much on your plate at the moment and you don't know where to turn.

I guess you kind of have to prioritise and separate your problems at the moment as hard as it seems. I would say that first comes your mental health because if you go downhill there is little you can do to help others. So if you can, do call the crisis team. In my experience they have been a great help. When I was in crisis they came round to see me, let me talk about what was going on, and liased with my CPN at the time to see if there was anything else they could do to help. They then followed up with a course of action that was deemed appropriate, for me it was continuing to see me for several days sometimes twice a day to offer some ongoing support.

Can you make an appointment with your GP about your sleep, they may be able to help in the interim before you see your psychiatrist. As you probably know when you are not sleeping everything appears to seem much worse, well it does to me anyway.

I know you have said you have housing and money worries but I am guessing that right now with so much on there is little you can do. So I would just stop trying to worry about it. I know it is alot easier said than done, but it is possible. When the thought enters your head, just let it go and move on. Don't get caught up in it. Just try to approach things one at a time, when they are all jumbled up it can overwhelm you and lead you to feel desperate.

Perhaps writing down your issues then writing down an action plan that involves small but manageable steps can help you feel like you are regaining some control of the situation. Such as: Sleep - make and appt with the GP, Mental Health - Call the crisis team. When you complete and tick off these steps you can feel like you are achieving some form of resolution and as I said regaining control. It works for me.

In the meantime do keep posting as Integal said keeping a journal can help you to vent your feelings which can offer some relief.
 
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noodlepixie

Guest
hi bit of an update....
had the cpn's come out to see me yesterday.. they were due to come out today but i missed the call and can't face contacting them.....

anyway yesterday they questioned me about everything thats going on. i sat smiling as i dont like people seeing how bad i am, they guessed this but i spoke to them, i just feel really stupid in what i say that its all in my head and sounds stupid, i told them i feel stupid.... why do i feel that way ive still got so much going on in my head but dont like to say due to it sounding so stupid.... they wanted to send me to hospital for a rest for a while but due to my partner being on call and my mum being away there was nowhere for the children to stay so i could stay at home....... i don't know if this was good or not i self harmed yesterday my wrist is all bruised but no broken bones so all good (sorry), today i missed the phone call as they were going to come back out armed with diazipan but i missed the call and with everyone being at home i don't want to phone them..... i get really confused when there here thinking that im stupid or im being judged, my partner is supportive but he thinks some of it is a little stupid and in my head or i shouldn't say to much incase they have me put away...... urgh....

am i stupid? is it in my head? do i imagine it all?
 
N

noodlepixie

Guest
another update.... saturday.. the cpns popped round to see how i was doing.. they didnt stay too long but gave me some diazipan 5mg to take twice a day.. theyre ringing me again tomorrow and see how things go from there...
 
KP1

KP1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
Hi Noodlepixie. It does sound as if you have got a lot on your plate. I can I know its difficult but take all the help you are offered if you can and look after yourself.
Take care.
KP
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,626
KP1 is right - I hated the crisis team at the time - but they were what I needed - take all the help you can get.

Stay safe please - keep using the team
KS
:hug:
 
jax

jax

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
869
Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
(((( NoodlePix ))))

You really are having a lot to deal with atm. Hoping soon that things will improve.
Jacqui x
 
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