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Phobia of sex and nudity in films

tartan extreme

tartan extreme

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Joined
Mar 19, 2016
Messages
81
I could not have said this any better myself. Absolutely spot on. It really angers me how woman are used as sexual objects, and there’s too much female nudity in films and I can’t sit through a film with my boyfriend and watch another woman naked, it’s so unfair and wrong. It takes a lot of confidence to open up to my boyfriend and show him my body, and he can go on tv and see another woman naked so easily, seeing another nude body should be an intimate thing only, not used as MENS entertainment. Theres too many men that look as woman as sexual objects, nearly every girl has experienced this and this is a massive part of the problem because woman’s body’s are shown everywhere like sexual objects, it’s so easy to see and it infuriates me. It’s not ok and it needs to come to an end. Removing sex and nudity from films will not make a difference to people who don’t mind seeing it lives, but it will make a HUGE difference to people that do and there’s enough people that do. Not everyone will speak up because they feel crazy because this is not a problem you hear every day, but it is a real problem and it needs to be sorted.
I'll give the forum a male perspective from someone who is a big fan of erotic films and photography and who has known several erotic photographers and fetish models.

There is a reason why certificates and showing times exist. They give you an idea of what to expect. If it's a 15+ or R-rated film, or shown after 9pm, you can expect adult content.

I think this is entirely an issue of perspective, confidence and culture. Some women hate porn and erotica, some revel in it. I have had girlfriends who hated porn and some who watched it on their own, one of my gfs used to watch it with me [on her suggestion, not mine]. Please do not think that all women dislike being nude in films/porn - while some do, for many it is a personal choice to celebrate their bodies and to financially profit off them. Some see it as emancipation.

The body is a sexual object. It has evolved to be sexually desirable and our brains recognise this and respond accordingly. I think what yourself and others are talking about is a form of envy, jealously and inappropriateness. Are you worried about yourself or the person you are watching these things with? If you watch a film and a nude scene comes on with a good-looking girl do you feel disgust, jealousy or exploitation? Does the person you're with not make you feel special enough? Do you worry that by suggesting films like this they are dissatisfied [this is not necessarily the case, but is this a concern]?

Do not think this is a one-way street either. Especially in the last decade we have seen a huge proliferation of shirtless and naked men in TV series and films. I watched several series of Vikings and a lot of the time the men walk around wearing very little, and they've all got great bodies. Does this make me feel inferior or exploited? No, they look good, so good for them. It gives me something to work towards [if I had the time/more motivation]. I think the issue to examine is one of personal confidence and why you feel this way and go from there, because nude scenes in films are not going anywhere.
 
V

VictoriaRose27

New member
Joined
Aug 27, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Tennessee
It’s honestly comforting to read all the responses here from people who feel the same way. I really did think I was alone.
It bothers me how as women we are supposed to be okay with men staring at naked women on tv right in front of us.
during nude scenes in movies I’m watching with my boyfriend my palms begin to sweat and I just want to cry. I want to leave the room. My heart races.
I was sexually assaulted by two different men and have been cheated on twice by guys who watched lots of porn… I guess you could say I’m just not comfortable with it.
What pisses me off too is when there is a naked man, he isn’t attractive. It will be some chubby old guy, meanwhile the nude women are all young and attractive with huge boobs.
My boyfriend and I are happy together, we live together and have sex often. I still hate it so much and fear saying anything out of fear he will see me as insecure, controlling and crazy. I suffer in silence.
 
N

_not_alone

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
14
Location
London
I'll give the forum a male perspective from someone who is a big fan of erotic films and photography and who has known several erotic photographers and fetish models.

There is a reason why certificates and showing times exist. They give you an idea of what to expect. If it's a 15+ or R-rated film, or shown after 9pm, you can expect adult content.

I think this is entirely an issue of perspective, confidence and culture. Some women hate porn and erotica, some revel in it. I have had girlfriends who hated porn and some who watched it on their own, one of my gfs used to watch it with me [on her suggestion, not mine]. Please do not think that all women dislike being nude in films/porn - while some do, for many it is a personal choice to celebrate their bodies and to financially profit off them. Some see it as emancipation.

The body is a sexual object. It has evolved to be sexually desirable and our brains recognise this and respond accordingly. I think what yourself and others are talking about is a form of envy, jealously and inappropriateness. Are you worried about yourself or the person you are watching these things with? If you watch a film and a nude scene comes on with a good-looking girl do you feel disgust, jealousy or exploitation? Does the person you're with not make you feel special enough? Do you worry that by suggesting films like this they are dissatisfied [this is not necessarily the case, but is this a concern]?

Do not think this is a one-way street either. Especially in the last decade we have seen a huge proliferation of shirtless and naked men in TV series and films. I watched several series of Vikings and a lot of the time the men walk around wearing very little, and they've all got great bodies. Does this make me feel inferior or exploited? No, they look good, so good for them. It gives me something to work towards [if I had the time/more motivation]. I think the issue to examine is one of personal confidence and why you feel this way and go from there, because nude scenes in films are not going anywhere.
Well your opinion won’t change anyone else’s feelings but thanks, you don’t have to live with it as youre a man which doesn’t have to live with the female body being nothing but a sexual object, nearly every man looks at a woman this way and it’s so wrong yet they’re persuaded to be like this with the amount fo films and tv shows etc there are showing woman as objects , being a girl who has been through a lot of things that are involved with sex, my feelings are valid and everyone else’s are too, we look for support not someone to change our mind with an opinion that is a load of rubbish no offence because telling us nudity in TVs isn’t going anywhere doesn’t help it just proves how ridiculous it is because there is no good reason for how much sex and nudity is in tv and it’s unfair for a lot of people who don’t want to see it, and it’s exposed to younger kids way too much and this happened to me and I think this is where most of my phobia comes from, it shouldn’t be so easy for kids to see even rated 12 movies have sexual content… I could go on I just think it’s wrong especially with the amount.
 
N

_not_alone

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
14
Location
London
Well your opinion won’t change anyone else’s feelings but thanks, you don’t have to live with it as youre a man which doesn’t have to live with the female body being nothing but a sexual object, nearly every man looks at a woman this way and it’s so wrong yet they’re persuaded to be like this with the amount fo films and tv shows etc there are showing woman as objects , being a girl who has been through a lot of things that are involved with sex, my feelings are valid and everyone else’s are too, we look for support not someone to change our mind with an opinion that is a load of rubbish no offence because telling us nudity in TVs isn’t going anywhere doesn’t help it just proves how ridiculous it is because there is no good reason for how much sex and nudity is in tv and it’s unfair for a lot of people who don’t want to see it, and it’s exposed to younger kids way too much and this happened to me and I think this is where most of my phobia comes from, it shouldn’t be so easy for kids to see even rated 12 movies have sexual content… I could go on I just think it’s wrong especially with the amount.
If there was a whole lot less of this content shown on tv, it could be easily avoided but fair for people who don’t want to see this, but nearly everything has it these days and living with a phobia of it isn’t easy
 
L

LemonLimeSunday

Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Australia
I made an account just to comment here, I feel very much the same way. I don’t have a problem with nudity, it’s just how it’s done that I have a problem with. It’s always women, it’s always graphic and it’s always sexualised and it never happens to men. I’ve even heard men say they wouldn’t want to be treated an object but to be seen as a real person, yet they’re more than happy to treat women that way. It’s just so sexist. And the sad part is that most women are okay with it because men enjoy it, and women who don’t like it are just insecure and are dragged through hellfire for assumably being insecure or because they are in fact insecure - those people are probably the most insecure of all. Anyway, I totally agree, it’s so unnecessary to make female nudity a focal point and to have so much of it - it really is in every movie and tv show, it doesn’t even need a rating anymore. Some even argue that breasts are not nudity, yet women still cover them, it’s still sexual assault or inappropriate to touch them, you can still arrested for it and they’re very desirable in the bedroom. I wish I wasn’t bothered it, it ruins everything I watch because it’s done so tastelessly. I always find myself looking it up if I want to watch something or if I find that I do enjoy it and feel so disapointed that a good show has done this. A good example is the man in the high castle which I’m watching now, I’ve loved it so far, even the way they handled nudity has been surprisingly well but then I learned that season 3 and maybe 4 have graphic nudity and I just felt majorly disappointed and upset. And a little upset and insecure that my parter will see her boobs, even though I know he will conveniently become interested in his phone. Hopefully it’s not as bad as I think, and very brief but I guess I’ll see very soon!
I will admit that some of my feelings are from insecurity, maybe it’d bother me less if I wasn’t insecure? I know am not bothered by any other part of the body but breasts being shown, but it could also be that men have butts too or that I think I have an all right butt, or both or that butts aren’t as sexualised as boobs. Though, this is a very small percentage of my feelings on this topic lol
Either way, reading these comments has been very comforting. I’ve only ever seen comments that tell me I’m just insecure and shouldn’t be mad at this because men enjoy it.
 
N

_not_alone

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
14
Location
London
I made an account just to comment here, I feel very much the same way. I don’t have a problem with nudity, it’s just how it’s done that I have a problem with. It’s always women, it’s always graphic and it’s always sexualised and it never happens to men. I’ve even heard men say they wouldn’t want to be treated an object but to be seen as a real person, yet they’re more than happy to treat women that way. It’s just so sexist. And the sad part is that most women are okay with it because men enjoy it, and women who don’t like it are just insecure and are dragged through hellfire for assumably being insecure or because they are in fact insecure - those people are probably the most insecure of all. Anyway, I totally agree, it’s so unnecessary to make female nudity a focal point and to have so much of it - it really is in every movie and tv show, it doesn’t even need a rating anymore. Some even argue that breasts are not nudity, yet women still cover them, it’s still sexual assault or inappropriate to touch them, you can still arrested for it and they’re very desirable in the bedroom. I wish I wasn’t bothered it, it ruins everything I watch because it’s done so tastelessly. I always find myself looking it up if I want to watch something or if I find that I do enjoy it and feel so disapointed that a good show has done this. A good example is the man in the high castle which I’m watching now, I’ve loved it so far, even the way they handled nudity has been surprisingly well but then I learned that season 3 and maybe 4 have graphic nudity and I just felt majorly disappointed and upset. And a little upset and insecure that my parter will see her boobs, even though I know he will conveniently become interested in his phone. Hopefully it’s not as bad as I think, and very brief but I guess I’ll see very soon!
I will admit that some of my feelings are from insecurity, maybe it’d bother me less if I wasn’t insecure? I know am not bothered by any other part of the body but breasts being shown, but it could also be that men have butts too or that I think I have an all right butt, or both or that butts aren’t as sexualised as boobs. Though, this is a very small percentage of my feelings on this topic lol
Either way, reading these comments has been very comforting. I’ve only ever seen comments that tell me I’m just insecure and shouldn’t be mad at this because men enjoy it.
I really feel the same as you don’t worry. I think it’s outrageous the amount of female nudity and how woman are sexualised and always shown for men’s pleasure, I am insecure to but having these perfect bodies plastered all over tv would make a lot of woman insecure, I don’t like my boyfriend seeing other woman like this and I just think it’s unfair the amount there is on tv because no one is wrong for not wanting to see it so even if they cut it down so it was easily avoided it would change everything for me and a lot of other people, but every show/movie seems to have some type of it. I even struggle going to the cinema with my boyfriend now because they all include some sort of sex/nudity.
 
L

LemonLimeSunday

Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Australia
I really feel the same as you don’t worry. I think it’s outrageous the amount of female nudity and how woman are sexualised and always shown for men’s pleasure, I am insecure to but having these perfect bodies plastered all over tv would make a lot of woman insecure, I don’t like my boyfriend seeing other woman like this and I just think it’s unfair the amount there is on tv because no one is wrong for not wanting to see it so even if they cut it down so it was easily avoided it would change everything for me and a lot of other people, but every show/movie seems to have some type of it. I even struggle going to the cinema with my boyfriend now because they all include some sort of sex/nudity.
it really is annoying! I don’t mind so much my partner seeing it now, I used to though. It makes my chest burn and I feel insecure but I try to remind myself that he doesn’t care about it, that he wont even remember it and that he doesn’t love them or want them - he loves me and wants me. It’s a working progress but I’m getting there! The less graphic and the shorter it is the easier it, for sure. But when it’s right in your face taking the up the whole screen, it’s very hard to ignore and not get upset by.
To be honest, I get kick out of it when there is male nudity or something and men can see what its like.
I do know that my partner is insecure as well, and other men make him feel insecure the same way I do but it helps me to know that I don’t care about it either and will forget very quickly, too.
 
N

_not_alone

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Feb 21, 2021
Messages
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Location
London
it really is annoying! I don’t mind so much my partner seeing it now, I used to though. It makes my chest burn and I feel insecure but I try to remind myself that he doesn’t care about it, that he wont even remember it and that he doesn’t love them or want them - he loves me and wants me. It’s a working progress but I’m getting there! The less graphic and the shorter it is the easier it, for sure. But when it’s right in your face taking the up the whole screen, it’s very hard to ignore and not get upset by.
To be honest, I get kick out of it when there is male nudity or something and men can see what its like.
I do know that my partner is insecure as well, and other men make him feel insecure the same way I do but it helps me to know that I don’t care about it either and will forget very quickly, too.
I’m glad you said that because I’m exactly the same! My boyfriend gets annoyed with me he says I enjoy seeing men nude or in a sexual way but it’s really just because I like to see him feel the way that I do all the time. And that I’m not the only one and I do have a reason to feel that way because he gets it too! It’s just rare that you will see men nude as much as woman so it’s really unfair. If it was totally equal I wouldn’t feel so bad because then we could just rant together but it seems to just be me ranting all the time and him not understanding lol
 
N

_not_alone

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Feb 21, 2021
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I’m glad you said that because I’m exactly the same! My boyfriend gets annoyed with me he says I enjoy seeing men nude or in a sexual way but it’s really just because I like to see him feel the way that I do all the time. And that I’m not the only one and I do have a reason to feel that way because he gets it too! It’s just rare that you will see men nude as much as woman so it’s really unfair. If it was totally equal I wouldn’t feel so bad because then we could just rant together but it seems to just be me ranting all the time and him not understanding lol
I think for me a lot of it is that the female body is just more sexualised in general, and is more appealing to both men and women. Hence why it is used everywhere, like I will look at woman and think how hot they are and how nice their body is but when I see a guy it’s just like meh. I don’t know if that’s just the way I think, like I’m not attracted to woman but I just think there’s a lot more to a woman’s body and they’re just so much more sexualised in every aspect. So I think my boyfriend thinks the same which I try to tell myself he doesn’t but it’s hard because that’s how I think myself 😂
 
LearntheEssentials

LearntheEssentials

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May 22, 2021
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416
Location
Germany
I don’t have a problem with nudity, it’s just how it’s done that I have a problem with. It’s always women, it’s always graphic and it’s always sexualised and it never happens to men.
I agree. Its weird. Dunno if i just have a lower libodo then other men, but its really weird for me.
Why behave like cavemen? At work, a colleague (55) has a nude Calender in the workshop.
Im just thinking why? Why do you have to see boobs or a Vagina when you walk into the shop?
You are literally at work. I wouldn't start to watch a porn at work, so why do you have that calendar? Wouldn't a normal one do it? You didnt write in it once either way.
 
N

_not_alone

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Feb 21, 2021
Messages
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Location
London
I agree. Its weird. Dunno if i just have a lower libodo then other men, but its really weird for me.
Why behave like cavemen? At work, a colleague (55) has a nude Calender in the workshop.
Im just thinking why? Why do you have to see boobs or a Vagina when you walk into the shop?
You are literally at work. I wouldn't start to watch a porn at work, so why do you have that calendar? Wouldn't a normal one do it? You didnt write in it once either way.
That’s really weird 😂 I mean I understand people enjoy that sort of thing but some just take it too far. It’s a bit worrying really. Keep that stuff to the bedroom and your private time 😬
 
Sloshiceangel

Sloshiceangel

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Apr 3, 2021
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Denmark
EDIT: As an asexual(aegosexual)myself, i don’t have a problem with watching nudity and sex. But as long as it’s fictional, i’m repulsed by the thought of myself having sex irl. It’s kind of sad how porn and the society ruined the beauty of nudity and sex..
 
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