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Petrified my boyfriend will commit suicide

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Charliedragonfly

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Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
108
Location
England
Hi there, thank you for your time.

I’m extremely worried about my boyfriend and our relationship. We’ve been together for 4 months now and in that time his depression and anxiety has gotten so much worse no matter how much I try to support him.

He says there’s no point in him staying alive and is at that low where he doesn’t want to get better because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to. He needs therapy but I can’t force him to go, so I feel like there’s nothing I can do!

I adore him and he loves me but I can’t help thinking that our relationship has made his mental health worse, however it’s so hard to tell because at the same time he’s got the stresses of med school looming over him.

His self harm has increased alarmingly and I’m really scared he’ll commit suicide because he said it sounds so tempting and that he doesn’t care any more. He’s attempted suicide in the past.

Is there anything I could say to him (considering that I can’t say “it’ll be okay” because he doesn’t want it to be okay) to make him want to stay alive? I’m incredibly desperate and I can’t handle his mental health issues alone, I have my own struggles that I can’t tend to at the same time as his. Is there anything I could do to help? I would be eternally grateful to anyone who replies and I’m open to anything. Anythinggg x
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

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May 5, 2019
Messages
890
Location
Uk
Are his family aware? Is there a mental health team that he is under that you could contact to share your concerns?

He needs to be encouraged to see his GP and hopefully attends willingly to get some help.
If not, the crisis team or mental health services will need to be contacted and can hopefully intervene. This is where his family should come in and do these steps.

It's a heavy weight for you to be carrying alone. I really hope he gets the help he needs and you get support too!
 
C

Charliedragonfly

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
108
Location
England
Thank you sm for your reply. I’ve tried countless times to get him to see a gp and he refuses. His family aren’t that understanding and refuse to believe that he’s depressed, instead becoming angry. There is someone he could talk to about it, I’ll just have to convince him to open up to her. Thank you ❤
 
daffy

daffy

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hiding behind the sofa
Hi @Charliedragonfly . It must be a very hard and worrying time for you but there are steps you can take. You need to talk to him and i mean really talk dont just agree with him. Ask him outright what’s making him feel like this. Does he feel a burden to you? Or if hes younger is the worry of exams /work. Ask him what hes thinking about at this moment and what does he think is causing it and is there anything that he can think of that can help.
Do you think his threat of suicide is more a cry for help or a genuine thought. Because if your seriously concerned you should phone 999. Otherwise is you need professional guidance you could phone 111 and they could get a psychiatrist to talk to you. There are other helplines out there like MIND and SANE that could give you more advice
You have to acknowledge and focus on him and keep the conversation going. But dont hesitate to use any of the numbers if your concerned

Daf:hug:
 
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Darkforge317

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Alberta, Canada
Hi @Charliedragonfly . dont hesitate to use any of the numbers if your concerned
And if you feel like he's about to do it... Don't hesitate to call 911 either. It's not the first time they've had to intervene in possible suicide, and they'll do their best to handle the situation and make him safe.


I definitely understand how you feel though. It must make you so worried...
But trust me, ANYTHING you do is better than nothing. Even if it doesn't seem to be helping him, it subconsciously is.
You care about him, and you're showing it... That should subconsciously help him.
 
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Charliedragonfly

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
108
Location
England
Thank you both for your replies. He's acknowledging the fact that he is ill and needs help, and says that he will keep himself alive even though he clearly spends most of the day talking about death atm... So he's being very resilient. I am sure he'll be okay but I'll give him all the support he needs until then, and (thank you for your advice!) I wont hesitate to call emergency services or helplines if needs be. Thank you :)
 
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Darkforge317

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Alberta, Canada
Thank you both for your replies. He's acknowledging the fact that he is ill and needs help, and says that he will keep himself alive even though he clearly spends most of the day talking about death atm... So he's being very resilient. I am sure he'll be okay but I'll give him all the support he needs until then, and (thank you for your advice!) I wont hesitate to call emergency services or helplines if needs be. Thank you :)
It's great that he's acknowledging it! Getting past denial is the first and most important step!

Is he going to be looking for help? I'm not sure which country you live in or what your healthcare is like, but here in Canada most of our health stuff is free with a doctor's referall such as counseling.
(counseling would be a great thing for him. I went through it for anxiety and it helped a lot. It should also help with depression!)


Also, you're welcome! That's what we're here for, to support each other during difficult times. <3
 
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