Peter Pan Syndrome/Emotionally still like a kid

Midnight.Panda

Midnight.Panda

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#1
Peter pan syndrome is basically when you can't grow up (hence the name). I read about it here. I feel like I might have it..

I am 20-years-old and I feel like I am still so childish compared to everyone else around my age. So much so that my friends and family have called me out on it. I am basically like a 5-year-old. I think it's pretty obvious in the way I sometimes type too (with a million emojis xD :D O: :) BD)

Some of the manifestations of peter pan syndrome seem to relate to me.. For example, I feel that I sometimes unfairly blame my family for my failures. If I am not good at something right away, I quit without trying. I sometimes treat my plushies like they're living and feel bad for them if I leave them in the living room instead of my bedroom. I feel unmotivated to work hard and do the things that are required of me. I am always treated as the baby by my social group, even if I am not physically the youngest. And many other things that seem childish..

Basically, I feel like I can't grow up. I wonder if this is because I feel like I had a poor childhood and can't let go? I feel bitter.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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#2
Wow, a lot of that seems to apply to me as well. But what I don't like about that article is that it doesn't give any suggestions of how to overcome Peter Pan Syndrome. The author of that article sounds a bit judgemental and as if having Peter Pan Syndrome is your own fault and you should just bloody get over it and put your mind to growing up. But it's simply not that easy. People don't develop something like that in a vacuum. Even as a child I felt that I didn't want to grow up, and that became even more intense for me as I entered puberty. I was terrified of growing up. For me, being a child means being taken care of and feeling safe, although I never really felt safe as a child, and while my physical needs were taken care of, my emotional needs were severely neglected. Honestly, I wasn't safe as a child. Not only did my parents fail to protect me and my sisters, they hired the same babysitter to look after us again, after we told them the first time what she did to us. And she did it again. It was more important to them that they give the babysitter a second chance than the wellbeing and safety of their own children. I can't tell you how much that angers me. And it's only in the last few years that I've even recognized what that babysitter did as abuse.
 
Midnight.Panda

Midnight.Panda

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#3
Wow, a lot of that seems to apply to me as well. But what I don't like about that article is that it doesn't give any suggestions of how to overcome Peter Pan Syndrome. The author of that article sounds a bit judgemental and as if having Peter Pan Syndrome is your own fault and you should just bloody get over it and put your mind to growing up. But it's simply not that easy. People don't develop something like that in a vacuum. Even as a child I felt that I didn't want to grow up, and that became even more intense for me as I entered puberty. I was terrified of growing up. For me, being a child means being taken care of and feeling safe, although I never really felt safe as a child, and while my physical needs were taken care of, my emotional needs were severely neglected. Honestly, I wasn't safe as a child. Not only did my parents fail to protect me and my sisters, they hired the same babysitter to look after us again, after we told them the first time what she did to us. And she did it again. It was more important to them that they give the babysitter a second chance than the wellbeing and safety of their own children. I can't tell you how much that angers me. And it's only in the last few years that I've even recognized what that babysitter did as abuse.
I also felt that the author was judgemental (and choosing this article was more out of laziness since it was the first one that showed up). But a large part of me blames myself for acting the way I do. That I am just being a childish brat that doesn't want to work and should just grow up like everyone else. I think that I have always been afraid of growing up too. When I was in kindergarten, I was afraid of going into grade 1. When I was in elementary school, I was afraid of going into highschool and then afraid of university... And now that I am in university, I am afraid of adulthood and the real adult world. I also feel emotionally neglected but it's hard to blame my parents when they took very good care of my physical needs. Maybe it was this emotional neglect that has made me so emotionally immature?

Thank you for sharing a bit of your story, valleygirl. I am so sorry that this happened to you.. I think that you have every right to be angry. Especially since you were a vulnerable kid and someone took advantage of that.
 
Anime-Alchemy

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#4
Hello Panda, I didn't read the link but I would say that I think it's awesome that you use emojis, so please don't ever stop using them and use as many as you like :)
Also it could be about your childhood. I act childish when playing a online game although i think/feel that i do it on another game as well and maybe when i interact with others on a gaming platform. Although i mix it up when chatting out of game.

Here's an example of the stuff i say on this game: Noooooo, welp, welp? O.O, >.>, >.<, -___-, pika.
I wonder about this because I feel and believe that i didn't have a childhood that i think society potrays, such as parents interacting with their children, laughing with them, making them laugh.

But at the same time you are not childish. Childish would be wanting others to do things for you when you could and should do it yourself. Acting up with extreme emotions when things don't go your way.
 
Kerome

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#5
I had some aspects of this when I was younger, I think. I spent a long time reading many science fiction and fantasy books, I had a huge collection of paperbacks when I was a teenager, and I found it difficult to socialise. I was also really into computer games... the likes of Ultima IV... and I liked Dungeons and Dragons too. I guess you could call me a very escapist teen. But this didn’t go away when I entered University. It stayed with me for that time and beyond.

It was only when I started on a career and had some success in that that I really started to feel more confident, got more responsibility and grew out of it that way. I do think that for me, fear and uncertainty were major themes in my thinking for a long time, which kind of powered escapist and childish tendencies in my mind. In a way those tendencies are still with me today, the last five years I’ve had a bit of a fallback to that way of thinking.

I think it’s not so cut and dried as saying there is a syndrome and you either have it or you don’t. There are different levels of severity, different aspects from emotional to behavioural.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#6
i never grew up
im 39 soon and emotionally i am around 11 years old
but i attribute that as being part of my BPD

or it could just be due to my childhood where i was forced to be a grown up long before i was ready

one thing i would say is don't change-you are awesome as you are x :hug:
 
Midnight.Panda

Midnight.Panda

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#7
Thank you for all your kind words everyone <3 I’ve been going through a rough patch so it’s been helping me get through it
 
RoaringTiger

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#8
I as well didn't read the article, but as someone mentioned I'm sure it was extremely judgmental, a lot of these things come from people on the outside only observing the surface and once they think they observed enough they put their own biases and prejudices into their "cure" you'd be surprised how many "professionals" idea of getting better is "just get over it" or "just do it" ..but anyway, I have this in away ..and I know why, like a poster said in here...although we were taken care of physically...emotionally i felt abandoned, I've been in and out of mental health services since elementary school. nothing has really ever improved...but the biggest thing, aside from the "good times" back when I was a kid, ...back in the day we had this thing called Hope, hope for the future, any problems we faced, they'd all be better when we got older...of course that isn't the case and your brain then decides....you know the only time things were good is when you were younger, remember how you felt? so you cling on to things from the past hoping to get that feeling, better than nostalgia...but it never really comes, and your brain won't accept that fact that it won't come...stepping outside of myself, and watching other people who seem to suffer being stuck in childhood..Anime is the worst thing that could have happened to them, (Of course they'll adamantly disagree) they see their hero getting everything they want in the shows, and how "cool" they seem...but that's cause it's fiction...in real life you don't look cool in a fedora and a trench coat lol, greasy long hair and weird cadences are off putting to "normal" people...(look up cringe collections on youtube) it's sad we've fallen into these life traps, but I don't look at it as a problem for myself until it becomes a problem...as a single person I'm looking for a partner and I am gonna just say if you think you're too old to dress up (cosplay) or play with action figures or generally have fun and tell yourself..."adults don't do this" then your obviously too young, because most "adults" don't worry about being adults, because they are adults lol...I think at this point I'm rambling so I'll try to end it here and I will elaborate on any point I guess if it wasn't clear
 

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