- Feb 5, 2015
So, hello to everyone reading this. I'm thirty years old and I've spent the past five years dealing with my mental illness. Originally I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, and more recently I've been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. During the time I was first diagnosed I was suffering from delusions. I had delusions of persecution and believed that people could read my mind, and as a result I believed I could be controlled by others. It was a horrible, abrasive experience where I believed every thought I had was public, I had no privacy in my own mind and eventually I tried to commit suicide. After that I was hospitalised, and given medication and the diagnosis. I took the medication for about 18 months and returned to work. I work as a hospital scientist. Eventually some of the symptoms came back, and during an emotionally stressful period when my grandfather died and my mother was looking at jail time i tried to commit suicide again. I was hospitalised again, given medication, risperadone, and diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. The symptoms had returned a little, and I guess I just became emotionally fatigued trying to block the constant narrative that ran through my head. The psychiatrist I spoke to said there was no reason that I couldn't return to my career in pathology, but recently I've been considering a change. I try to keep the illness as simple as possible - it is caused by increased levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine, where increased levels result in cognitive disturbances and produce the symptoms. The medication works to correct these levels. I don't really know why I'm writing this, I guess it's just that I've always had to deal with this on my own and I would like to finally talk to someone who has experienced similar challenges in their own life, and hear their story.