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Personal Account: Odd experiences with voices at night

Boris

Boris

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 20, 2010
Messages
1,332
Location
UK
That sounds really nasty. Thinking back, can you see any pattern regarding these voices waking you up, and any events leading upto it (maybe trouble sleeping the night before, going to bed at a different time those nights it happened, a change of diet, stress etc etc). I was just thinking if you could roughly predict a bout of it happening, maybe you could counteract it with sleeping tablets etc. Sorry I can`t be of any further help. Meditating has also got to be a good positive step forward too. I wish you early success :)
 
Raina Walks

Raina Walks

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2011
Messages
2,403
hi dontwakethedragon,

i tried ignoring the voices but did not work for me....they were too overpowering and the things they were saying were too horrid....when i was at work i likened the experience to sitting there working on a legal document while my boss stood over me yelling a barrage of insults while expecting me to work, work fast and work well...needless to say i could not do it for long...

people would give me the feedback that my voice sounded tortured...i sounded like i was under a great deal of strain...this girl i worked with would always say that i sounded 'awful'...i felt like i was under physical, emotional and mental torture...

i did use meditation and the voices did not like that....and i used prayer too....

they were 'at' me for so long and i have had them on and off since i was 8 years old so it is hard to believe that they have been sent packing for good....i think if i go off my meds and go 'off' even slightly they may come back...they seem to be at their worst when i am at my most vulnerable...

i don't give the meds any credit for making them go away but they did help me get some sleep so that i got a break for a few hours each night....if i can pick up a pattern as far as my life is concerned...when my life is topsy turvy the voices come...when i seem to regain my strength and things are looking up and since they were not successful at taking my life or causing me to then they go quiet...

every time they came back they would talk about everything that happened since they last left...

also...for years i would see disturbing images of me being sexually assaulted or humiliated...sometimes when i was wide awake...i was frightened for a long time and then i changed positions mentally and became the aggressor...except mentally i decapitated the person committing the heinous crimes against me....i felt better after doing that mental exercise...like i took my power back....

i hear you about not being able to talk to anyone in your family...neither could i nor friends...i find that unless the other person has experienced it too they don't understand and they tend to wonder if i'm making it up....it is a lonely place to be...sometimes when they are at their worst i just wanted someone to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay but of course that never happened.....

i remember calling the distress line and they hung up on me when i said that my voices were driving me crazy...whoever i was talking to was not comfortable so she got out of the call...she said bye before she hung up and sounded really freaked out....

the only way i could get help from the distress line was if i called and said i was hearing voices but the voices stop talking when i am having a conversation with someone else...would they talk to me for a while so that i could have some peace....they would talk about the weather, what was on the news whatever to distract me...but they could not handle details about what the voices were saying to me...they found that frightening...

i experienced incidents of the voices taking over my body too...it did feel like possession...they also caused me pain...suddenly a part of my body would start to hurt and i had to keep working or walking telling myself that it was not real pain it was the voices...

they even made me feel one day like i was being raped...yep...they were that awful....and that powerful...

please keep posting...i started posting on here when i was hearing voices but the hearing voices sub forum was not that active back then...

i can understand your thinking that this experience has a spiritual element....they harped on my every misdeed and mistake and said that i had to pay.....what got me off that train of thought was the fact that they kept repeating that they were on everybody else's side against me....then they proceeded to wish all of the worst things on me...all kinds of misfortune and they were so loud...i fought back by telling them that i wish it right back on them and that i did not believe that any of that would happen to me...

i think writing, prayer, meditation and then after a while i started reading out loud because they did not talk when i was talking or else i would journal out loud into a digital tape recorder....i would say what i felt about what the voices were saying and doing into the digital tape recorder...i found myself talking into the tape recorder for hours because they had said so much that i had a lot to respond to...it was soon after i started doing that they changed their tune and eventually went away....

just today i went outside my apartment for the first time in weeks and as i walked i remembered that at this time last year i was walking the same route while they beat me up with their words etc. i was so happy to be free of them but honestly they raged on for four years so i am still getting used to life without them...

take care of you today....and know that you are not alone...i still consider myself a voice hearer because they have been there for 34 of my 42 years on and off and in different ways...ruining my life every single time they 'struck'....
 
D

dontwakethedragon

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2012
Messages
125
Location
Nowhere, United States of AmeriKa
That sounds really nasty. Thinking back, can you see any pattern regarding these voices waking you up, and any events leading upto it (maybe trouble sleeping the night before, going to bed at a different time those nights it happened, a change of diet, stress etc etc). I was just thinking if you could roughly predict a bout of it happening, maybe you could counteract it with sleeping tablets etc. Sorry I can`t be of any further help. Meditating has also got to be a good positive step forward too. I wish you early success :)

Thank you Boris :)

Not sure I have noticed a direct pattern. I sometimes wonder if perhaps negative emotional states could feed into these experiences. I know one source that describes negative energy attachments, had indicated that going to sleep when in a negative mood may help facilitate psychic attack. I also tend to ruminate on my experiences a lot, which may border on obsession; this could exacerbate the problem. What I would like to work on is learn how to successfully transmute negative emotional states into positive ones. Hopefully one day I can figure that one out.

Interestingly, I have noticed that when I take a lorazepam as a sleeping aid I tend to avoid the experiences. Wish I could predict when they happen, but alas I have not yet been able to do so.
 
D

dontwakethedragon

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2012
Messages
125
Location
Nowhere, United States of AmeriKa
hi dontwakethedragon,

i tried ignoring the voices but did not work for me....they were too overpowering and the things they were saying were too horrid....when i was at work i likened the experience to sitting there working on a legal document while my boss stood over me yelling a barrage of insults while expecting me to work, work fast and work well...needless to say i could not do it for long...

people would give me the feedback that my voice sounded tortured...i sounded like i was under a great deal of strain...this girl i worked with would always say that i sounded 'awful'...i felt like i was under physical, emotional and mental torture...

i did use meditation and the voices did not like that....and i used prayer too....

they were 'at' me for so long and i have had them on and off since i was 8 years old so it is hard to believe that they have been sent packing for good....i think if i go off my meds and go 'off' even slightly they may come back...they seem to be at their worst when i am at my most vulnerable...

i don't give the meds any credit for making them go away but they did help me get some sleep so that i got a break for a few hours each night....if i can pick up a pattern as far as my life is concerned...when my life is topsy turvy the voices come...when i seem to regain my strength and things are looking up and since they were not successful at taking my life or causing me to then they go quiet...

every time they came back they would talk about everything that happened since they last left...

also...for years i would see disturbing images of me being sexually assaulted or humiliated...sometimes when i was wide awake...i was frightened for a long time and then i changed positions mentally and became the aggressor...except mentally i decapitated the person committing the heinous crimes against me....i felt better after doing that mental exercise...like i took my power back....

i hear you about not being able to talk to anyone in your family...neither could i nor friends...i find that unless the other person has experienced it too they don't understand and they tend to wonder if i'm making it up....it is a lonely place to be...sometimes when they are at their worst i just wanted someone to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay but of course that never happened.....

i remember calling the distress line and they hung up on me when i said that my voices were driving me crazy...whoever i was talking to was not comfortable so she got out of the call...she said bye before she hung up and sounded really freaked out....

the only way i could get help from the distress line was if i called and said i was hearing voices but the voices stop talking when i am having a conversation with someone else...would they talk to me for a while so that i could have some peace....they would talk about the weather, what was on the news whatever to distract me...but they could not handle details about what the voices were saying to me...they found that frightening...

i experienced incidents of the voices taking over my body too...it did feel like possession...they also caused me pain...suddenly a part of my body would start to hurt and i had to keep working or walking telling myself that it was not real pain it was the voices...

they even made me feel one day like i was being raped...yep...they were that awful....and that powerful...

please keep posting...i started posting on here when i was hearing voices but the hearing voices sub forum was not that active back then...

i can understand your thinking that this experience has a spiritual element....they harped on my every misdeed and mistake and said that i had to pay.....what got me off that train of thought was the fact that they kept repeating that they were on everybody else's side against me....then they proceeded to wish all of the worst things on me...all kinds of misfortune and they were so loud...i fought back by telling them that i wish it right back on them and that i did not believe that any of that would happen to me...

i think writing, prayer, meditation and then after a while i started reading out loud because they did not talk when i was talking or else i would journal out loud into a digital tape recorder....i would say what i felt about what the voices were saying and doing into the digital tape recorder...i found myself talking into the tape recorder for hours because they had said so much that i had a lot to respond to...it was soon after i started doing that they changed their tune and eventually went away....

just today i went outside my apartment for the first time in weeks and as i walked i remembered that at this time last year i was walking the same route while they beat me up with their words etc. i was so happy to be free of them but honestly they raged on for four years so i am still getting used to life without them...

take care of you today....and know that you are not alone...i still consider myself a voice hearer because they have been there for 34 of my 42 years on and off and in different ways...ruining my life every single time they 'struck'....
Wow Raina, those are terrible experiences. So sorry you have had to endure such torture for so long. It seems like the one thing the voices are good at is cultivating fear. The more fearful we are, the more powerful the voices become. Amazing that they dissipated after you did the tape recording, prayer and meditation. This gives me some hope.

That distress hotline you spoke of sounds very unhelpful. Can't believe they hung up on you. I plan on volunteering for a hotline service in the near future and there is no way I would hang up on someone for being a voice hearer. Maybe that stems from my experience with hearing voices, hence it would be easier to lend support to someone hearing voices. At any rate, I'm sorry you did not get much support from them. So many people seem to be afraid to go anywhere near the contents of what we go through. Like you said, we are sort of in a lonely place, (no-mans-land). As much as would like to share our experiences with others, we cannot do so. We tell them about it and then they either brush it off as fantasy, or that we are still unstable and need to get fixed-up.

You spoke of feeling like you were being raped. I had that experience as well! During my first episode (after I had gone into convulsions been moved around like a puppet on a string), I was paralyzed in terror while the voice said it was going to rape me. I then felt a painful sensation in my rectum, like I was being anally penetrated. Man that was bizzare and scary.

Glad you did that tape recorder thing. What a great idea. I too have found keeping a record very benefical. In my case, it has given me a sense of satisfaction and helped validate my experiences. I intend to continue writing about my experiences and look to meditation and invoking the support of higher spiritual principles. Hopefully in time the voices will go away for good and stop harrassing me at night.

I have gotten angry at them as well and reflected at them what they have directed at me. Not sure if this is a really effective tactic as negativity likely only fosters more negativity and futher attacks in the future. My ability to ignore them most of the time seems to diffuse their potency. The more I interact with them the easier it is for me to be emotionally and rationally disarmed. Every time I tried debating with the voices, I lost every time. They are very proficent and pushing my buttons and planting seeds of doubt.

After being a participant to such shocking phenomena, it's difficult for me to deny the spiritual dimension. I wish I could accept the medical model explaination but I am unable to do so. I suppose the healthiest approach would to be open to multiple possibilities and not get locked into a specific belief as to what I went through. At the end of the day, there is no way to prove the involvement of negative entities one way or the other. Who knows, maybe these voices are a manifestation of the primal contents of our unconscious, archetypes gone wild perhaps? Anyway, most of the literature I have read on this stuff seems to agree that we must be resolute when dealing with the voices and do our best not to give into reactivity (fear and suspension of logic) as this leads to our disempowerment and lends them control over our lives. Looking to a higher power also seems to help (sometimes indirectly, as the higher power helps us help our selves). Anyway, going with our intuition may be a way of how the higher powers communicate with us. I still need to work on that one.

It really is amazing that they seem to strike at the most inopportune times. It's like once you get in a good space, they decide to ruin things for you. After my first episode, I managed to get back on track and made some new friends. I was having some (what I perceived) to be some genuine positive expereinces. I was doing well in college again and enjoying teaching assisting. Then boom! I have a second attack and end up having to quit school and move back in with my family. My thesis has been completely derailed and when I go back to university I'll need to figure out how to write and defend it in one year. Also, by the time I return, most of the friends I made will have graduated and moved on. It's gonna be tough starting over. Feels like my life seems to go in circles, always seem to experience the same mistakes and pitfalls over and over. Maybe some kind of Karmic debt is involved.

I guess in way, I'm trying to look at the voices as being a part of the spiritual lessons I need to learn in this life rather than just antagonistic enemies. Definately harsh and difficult lessons to learn, but perhaps necessary for teaching me how to grow. My ego tells me to just think of them as evil enemies and that I am a victim. While it is true that I was a victim of these voices, now it's my responsibility to figure our how to deal with them. This is a big test for me.

I definately look forward to posting more on this forum. I hope you do as well Raina. I greatly appreciate having someone to talk to about this stuff. I wish you well. You have been through hell having had to deal with them for 34 years. I hope they are gone for good and leave you alone. May you have good days ahead. I look forward to hearing from you again.
 
A

askjesustohelpyou

Guest
Dear dontwakethedragon, Please check your messages on this forum. An alternative explaination for what we are going through is that angels exist and you are communing with Satan's angels and they will lead you and others away from God. Please ask Jesus to help you! Please consider that these beings are real and they want to hurt you. Please stand firm. It is what you do that matters. Do not believe them if you think you have surrendered. Please do not do evil, whether to yourself or others.
 
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dontwakethedragon

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2012
Messages
125
Location
Nowhere, United States of AmeriKa
Hello askjesus

While I do not fully subscribe to your believe system, the hyperdimensional astral influences I described can be likened to demons as their main goal is to strike fear in human beings and absorb their energy source. Others who have been psychically attacked by these entities have invoked benevolent deities and figures such as Jesus, Buddha, higher self, spirit guides and angels to help them out of a jam with mixed results. Sometimes it works great other times it does not. I have asked for help myself lately, but the foreign thoughts I am experiencing are not going away. I'm going to have to cope with it on my own until I can find a trustworthy source (and $) to get spirit healing and a proper exorcism to remove the astral attachment.
 
A

askjesustohelpyou

Guest
Dear dontwakethedragon, I am glad you asked Jesus for help. That is the first step. I asked Him over 11 years ago for help, but I have continued to hear the voices. I would like to assure you that my asking Him to help me is what made all the difference. Please continue to ask Him for help and trust in Jesus. You do not need to cope with it on your own. You will find there are going to be many times when He can help you and it will make all the difference. Thank you, Karen
 
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