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person with bipolar saying hurtful things?

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goldentoad97

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Anyone have any tips / insight on how to not take it personally when someone with bipolar says very personally hurtful things to you? My best friend said some very mean things to me while they were irritable and they were very unfair and harsh and things I was already insecure about. It was also relating to an idea that they had while manic that I didn't agree with, and I know it's common for people with bipolar to get hyper irritated when people don't go along with their manic ideas, so maybe that's why they lashed out. Is this common?
 
Passionflower

Passionflower

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I don't know whether it is common, but I wouldn't put up with it. Just because someone is bipolar doesn't mean they should be allowed to get away with being mean and hurtful.
 
G

goldentoad97

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I don't know whether it is common, but I wouldn't put up with it. Just because someone is bipolar doesn't mean they should be allowed to get away with being mean and hurtful.
I totally agree. Bipolar is not an excuse and doesn't make it okay, but having it as an explanation makes me feel better in a way.
 
Blooming

Blooming

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People that use their diagnosis as an excuse for not taking responsibility for this or that should not be allowed to hurt others. They have to live with their diagnosis and learn how to cope as well as to treat others with dignity.

I don't have any advice for how to not take it personally when a person with bipolar (or somebody with another diagnose) has said unkind things that hurts. May be you can meet that person more seldom, knowing that this person uses his or her diagnosis to hurt you.People who hurt others without an apology afterwards is not a real friend. If they continue to hurt others and apologize again and again, I would have left the friendship. Their apology is not real.
 
K

keith74

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Anyone have any tips / insight on how to not take it personally when someone with bipolar says very personally hurtful things to you? My best friend said some very mean things to me while they were irritable and they were very unfair and harsh and things I was already insecure about. It was also relating to an idea that they had while manic that I didn't agree with, and I know it's common for people with bipolar to get hyper irritated when people don't go along with their manic ideas, so maybe that's why they lashed out. Is this common?
This is basically dysphoric mania in a nutshell. The best way to handle this emotionally is to remind yourself that during a manic episode, it is very very difficult for the person to think logically. Basically their frontal lobes of the brain (the part for logic and reasoning) have been essentially shut off.

This below article is helpful:
 
G

goldentoad97

Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
17
Location
Seattle, WA
This is basically dysphoric mania in a nutshell. The best way to handle this emotionally is to remind yourself that during a manic episode, it is very very difficult for the person to think logically. Basically their frontal lobes of the brain (the part for logic and reasoning) have been essentially shut off.

This below article is helpful:
this is very helpful, thank you! it was especially confusing and hurtful because at the time i wasn't thinking much about how they had bipolar, and they are usually a very smart articulate person when they aren't unmedicated and chemically unbalanced so i took what they were saying to heart. it's still hard but this helps put it into context!
 
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