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People think I'm weird or ignorant because of my social anxiety.

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spacingspaces

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Mar 13, 2018
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And example is my sister's friends. I think they think I'm some weirdo because I never say hey or hello to them I just walk past them without saying anything if I see them. It's not because I wanna be rude to them I just get so anxious that I can't bring myself to say anything. Anyone else have similar issue
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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When I was younger, I used to suffer from social anxiety, before it was widely recognised as a disorder.

I still get anxious now TBH sweetheart.

What helped was learning that conversation was enjoyable and fun. You can just talk about yourself, or ask questions, or say something random. It does not matter.
 
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Zackthemaniac

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Oct 16, 2019
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Ive never been diagnosed but i hate social situations and interacting with new people makes me extremely anxious. Just start slow and try your best to say Hi. Im sure your sister probably told them you're not rude on purpose.
 
J

Jules5

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Jan 27, 2019
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Hi Spacingspaces. Awa you need to at least nod your head when your sisters friends come by. This must be an awkward situation for you around your sisters friends. I would be like you and not say anything. Why should you? I did not get know my brothers friends until later in life. They would say are you Al's sister? Then I talked to them. So do not worry about that part of your socialization. How is school going for you?
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Yes, I have similar issues @spacingspaces. I have social anxiety as well.

Quite often, I simply have no desire or wish to connect or interact with people [oh, what a crime!] no matter how much or how hard I try to summon those 'happy' feelings. And, so, when I suddenly find myself in a situation that I know the blindly socially judgmental people will expect - yes, expect - me to interact using pointless small-talk, I start feeling anxious, even a little bit angry. I say to myself 'oh, god, here we go again'.

So, yes. I can relate. You're not alone, friend.
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Sorry, @spacingspaces, my previous post wasn't all that helpful but I can relate, yes. I think Jules5 previous post to mine sums it up quite well, too.

You're doing very well to be reaching out and it'll be okay, you'll see.

Thank you.
 
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spacingspaces

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Mar 13, 2018
Messages
261
Yes, I have similar issues @spacingspaces. I have social anxiety as well.

Quite often, I simply have no desire or wish to connect or interact with people [oh, what a crime!] no matter how much or how hard I try to summon those 'happy' feelings. And, so, when I suddenly find myself in a situation that I know the blindly socially judgmental people will expect - yes, expect - me to interact using pointless small-talk, I start feeling anxious, even a little bit angry. I say to myself 'oh, god, here we go again'.

So, yes. I can relate. You're not alone, friend.
Yeah i can relate to what you're saying. Thanks
 
CelticTwilight

CelticTwilight

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Sep 5, 2009
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Nocturnsville UK
There seems to be quite a lot of us these days.

All that glitters is not gold as they say and I am somebody who likes to look below the surface only to find many people are incredibly shallow and when they have started a conversation want me to do all the work. But I am wise to the open ended question tactic.

I am too deep for most people, take life too serious, doom & gloom merchant etc etc - isn't that unfortunate - counter to that I haven't got time for those who prefer small talk and tittle tattle and they are usually negative towards me or about somebody else anyway including family and in laws. The fact I haven't spoken to any of the latter in years has made life far more pleasant for me but I am sure they are still bickering amongst themselves and winding each other up when I at least tried to be polite and understanding (which was a huge waste of time and energy).

I once had two of them talking stupid at the supermarket checkout directed at me and just acted like I didn't know them as though they must have been talking to somebody else ignored them on the way out too disarming and making them look even stupider than they are, and they are stupid living in their little world with their tiny minds.

Key word: Selective
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

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And example is my sister's friends. I think they think I'm some weirdo because I never say hey or hello to them I just walk past them without saying anything if I see them. It's not because I wanna be rude to them I just get so anxious that I can't bring myself to say anything. Anyone else have similar issue
I used to be like this. It changed when I got a dog and every dog walker said hello. Now I say hello to random people. Sometimes I'm blanked, but hey ho. I dont mind so much anymore.
Sometimes I even end up super awkward and say things like "thank you" instead of hello, which I personally find hilarious a while after.

I guess it was saying hello to randomers that helped me overcome it. It's not so easy without my dog though.
 
hicks

hicks

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A galaxy, far far away..
I used to be like this. It changed when I got a dog and every dog walker said hello. Now I say hello to random people. Sometimes I'm blanked, but hey ho. I dont mind so much anymore.
Sometimes I even end up super awkward and say things like "thank you" instead of hello, which I personally find hilarious a while after.

I guess it was saying hello to randomers that helped me overcome it. It's not so easy without my dog though.
100% agree. Getting a dog was great for us. It actually improved our social life immensely. Thing is, I completely identify with the OP, I'm not one for idle small talk. But I force myself to do the "Hi how are you? I'm fine..." etc, even though it's largely meaningless. Does the other person really care how I am? I'm not sure I care how they are :) Maybe that's the problem ;)

But yeah, walking a dog. Who'd have thought that was a social life enhancer? It is though, because dog walkers are like a club. The dog in a way is a social crutch, because it immediately gives you something to talk about. And by having conversations like this with people, it reduces your own social anxiety a bit.
 
hicks

hicks

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A galaxy, far far away..
And example is my sister's friends. I think they think I'm some weirdo because I never say hey or hello to them I just walk past them without saying anything if I see them
I can relate, but if it bothers you to be regarded as a 'weirdo' - and it obviously does otherwise you wouldn't be posting this, try and make yourself at least acknowledge the other person.
However socially anxious you are, you must be able to at least say "Hi" to someone. I'm acutely socially anxious and self-conscious, but I've got into to the habit of saying hi, and 'how are you' to people.
 
daffy

daffy

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Fully relate to all the posts. I also get called snobby because i cant always interact with others. And i do think its becoming more and more common, or else maybe just more people are talking about it. I did tell them where i volunteer that I suffer social anxiety and explained that i cant always get involved in conversations and they've been fine about it
 
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Sarah902

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Oct 27, 2019
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Chicago
And example is my sister's friends. I think they think I'm some weirdo because I never say hey or hello to them I just walk past them without saying anything if I see them. It's not because I wanna be rude to them I just get so anxious that I can't bring myself to say anything. Anyone else have similar issue
I would feel the same way around my sister in law. She finally admitted she was an introvert. I thought she didn't want to talk to me but struggled to. But I'm still very anxious around people. I at least say hi even though I have nothing to talk about. I let other people lead the conversation and I jump in here and there.
 
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Hermanscoil

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Jul 18, 2018
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61
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US
When I go to work, the grocery store, my friends house and God-forbid they ask me to join the rest of our mutual friends lol. There are months where I will do and say the bare minimum to avoid the panic I feel.
 
C

Catears

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Nov 9, 2019
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Europe
I used to have severe social anxiety when I was a teen. I used to walk past people and not greet them. I didn't do it on purpose or out of spite. I wondered when was the right time to say "hello" or whether it was the age appropriate expression or should I say 'good morning' instead, and stuff like that. And while I was anxiously thinking, the moment passed. It's gotten easier over the years. Now I just say 'hello' and know that even if it wasn't the right word, people just expect me to acknowledge their presence and they won't mind.
 
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