people really confuse me sometimes *mini rant*

B

biggerdandy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2014
Messages
196
seriously, last few months I have noticed that people I used to be friends with dont even respond to me on facebook, ignore me in public or pretend Im not there is social gatherings. Some of these people have been 'super bff' level friendships and are all of a sudden, wanting nothing to do with me. Normally this makes me a bit paranoid but lately Im feeling I either make some of them feel bad for not talking to me just by being there or they have somehow lost the plot (I used to think I had done something to upset them)

Earlier today I was at the train station, onboard and ready to head home, and I saw an old friend I havent seen in about a year. When I last saw her, she wanted a one night stand that we were both cool with and parted on good terms, even kept chatting as friends for a while after and in the last six months she went dead silent. When she saw me, I smiled and as soon as she recognized me, she turned her head and walked briskly off. Funny considering this is someone who seemed to have no problem with me at all and was even asking me if I wanted to meet up a while later anyway.

Ive had similar experiences with passing friends since Ive been at uni. They might never respond, act nice and then not even accept a friend invite on facebook, whatever.

I have absolutely no idea how people work tbh. It seems childish for adults in their early to mid 20's, most of the time I seem to only be contacted by people who want something from me these days. Thing is Im more comfortable now thinking 'It's their problem if they behave like that.' If I did something wrong, they can be honest and tell me or act like that and come off as two faced.


Anyone get this? People suddenly just turning unfriendly?
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I've not experienced this before but it sounds horrible and must be pretty confusing! At least you can see it as immature and as their issues rather than your own, which is good.

I've never understood why people in general can't be more open and honest about things. Life would be a lot simpler if they were.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,534
Location
The West Country
I have had similar experiences to this.

What I would say is that you don't always know what the other person is thinking.
I know that sometimes i'm not as friendly as I have previously been to people, but when that happens, it's almost always because i'm in a bad mood or i'm pre-occupied with worries.
So they may not be intentionally ignoring you in public. It could just be that they're not in the mood for a chat.

Also, Facebook is a very odd one. I know people who will accept a friend request from anybody and others who only allow a tight-knit group to be their 'friend'.
People do have different reasons for being on social media. And perhaps it may be that people prefer to only have people they know really well as friends.

But yes, people are confusing but i'd say most of the time their behaviour has very little to do with you or how they feel about you and is more down to themselves.
 
Jaminacaranda

Jaminacaranda

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2013
Messages
2,192
Location
East of England
Perhaps your one-night-stand friend really was hoping for something more than a casual friendship but was afraid to say it and then when you didn't show any interest in taking it further, she cooled off.

I think it's much harder to establish and maintain friendships the older you get. Most older people have their own lives sorted with family connections and friendships established so they don't have a need for additional friends. It's easier to have lots of friends when you are younger and at Uni for example. Sometimes those friendships can last but only rarely. I have just one friend I have known for 50+ years but we hardly ever meet.

Since I moved away one of my best friends for 18 years has stopped communicating with me simply because she has acquired two grandchildren and I sympathise - I can't compete with them and at best I could only meet up with her twice a year - so what would be the point in continuing our friendship?

Personally I think friendship is over-rated and I've learnt to live without it.
 
B

biggerdandy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2014
Messages
196
Perhaps your one-night-stand friend really was hoping for something more than a casual friendship but was afraid to say it and then when you didn't show any interest in taking it further, she cooled off.

I think it's much harder to establish and maintain friendships the older you get. Most older people have their own lives sorted with family connections and friendships established so they don't have a need for additional friends. It's easier to have lots of friends when you are younger and at Uni for example. Sometimes those friendships can last but only rarely. I have just one friend I have known for 50+ years but we hardly ever meet.

Since I moved away one of my best friends for 18 years has stopped communicating with me simply because she has acquired two grandchildren and I sympathise - I can't compete with them and at best I could only meet up with her twice a year - so what would be the point in continuing our friendship?

Personally I think friendship is over-rated and I've learnt to live without it.
Funny thing with the first point. I'd always thought she was potentially someone I could have been with, and had she said something I might have been more open if that was the case, but she was the one who wanted a one time thing and cut contact with me. Comes back to the honesty point I guess :)

I find it's less a case of losing touch with friends, but its the childish avoidance like Ive done something wrong to any of these people that bugs me. Feels rude, you know?
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
1 People 13
My_Second_Chance People 1
S People 1
My_Second_Chance People 1
My_Second_Chance People 6

Similar threads


Top