Past

[keepsafe]

I wrote a letter outlining my past to my psychologist - she thought this might help us to have a starting place - now I feel a right mess, I don;t know what to do.

Sure I tried practicing my safe place and such

 

[keepsafe]

Right I will just keep talking then cos I don;t know what to do - I feel like chucking myself out of the window - why did I write the letter - I phoned the samaritans - she was a kind lady - I phoned intensive home based therapy )they were shite) - told me to do some cleaning - they were on the phone to me all of 3 minutes - oh flip

Its my fault - when vulnerable do not write letters about your shit past.

Well that doesn;t help.

 

[Jo1760]

Its certianly not your fault at all please odnt feel guilty about writing the letter. I hope you manage a restful evening.

I am sorry to hear the H.B.T were not useful. It must be very difficult to get such little support from a service that is suppose to be there for you. I am glad the Samaritans were of some use to you. I have used them in the past and although I think it depends who you have pick up the phone, they generally seem quite helpful.

It wouldn't suggest their email service, the replies take a while and quite often are full of questions rather than any support of advice.

Please please take care of yourself this evening and most importantly rest and if possible sleep.

XX

 

[Ainsworth]

wow thats caused a huge trigger for you (i know what thats like, not nice) you need to be safe, feel safe, keep talking on here

hugs

 

[keepsafe]

I know I dont know what I was thinking - what was I thinking - just that I feel so desperate that we need to start talking properly in the therapy thats why I started going to the train lines again and ended up with crisis intervention - so perhaps now wasn;t the best time or perhaps now is the only time - god I feel so desperate - what is the point with th home based therapy team????

F*ck

So here I am - no I am not looking for sympathy but maybe like you have both given my empathy - oh god I don;t think I want to seriously be here anymore - its not a game - its not fun - its not even sad

 

[Jo1760]

KS
honestly I promise noone would ever think you were looking for sympathy. I understand how sometimes it's nice to vent ideas and have a friendly reply or just some simple words of encouragement to help keep going. I feel it's really important. Please don't ever worry about what your posting. We are all here to support each other. Sometime friends around us have no idea how we feel so the forum is a nice place to say exactly how we are thinking. I can't tell you how much you have helped me in the past it has also been very much apprecitaed.

Please take care.

X X

 

[Ainsworth]

honestly I promise noone would ever think you were looking for sympathy.

completely right

KS i have been triggered by my past, so know, been in the same place as you, so feel it.

please keep talking, say everything you need to, anything

hugs

 

[keepsafe]

I have flashbacks regularly and dissocation - this week the dissocation hase been bad, I just realised earlier Some things I thought had happened in the week haven;t happened at all - and the places I have been from my past are just that - I know sometimes I don;t realise.

I am wibbling on sorry - Triggers are bad - I think I need to just go away for a while and try to practice some relaxation.

Thanks for listening

 

[gray]

From your reaction to just writing the letter it says to me that your psychologist was right to request the information.
It sounds to me like you have a lot of surpressed bad feelings which you have kept bottled up inside that you have never had any closure on.
It may be very hurtful but try to look at it in a positive way that maybe you will find some relief from your past.

I don't pretend to know your problems but I do know what it is like to supress feelings and have no one to confide in about it.

 

[keepsafe]

Thanks all for last night - I still feel in a state but I am trying not to think about it I think?????

 

[Fartoolong]

Hi Keepsafe,
I'm around if you fancy a chat. I'm sat in work and trying my hardest not work, as I have no want to today!

Tell me how you're feeling today.

Lxxx