• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.



Well-known member
Mar 13, 2011
I had a counselling session that has helped with some past memories.

About nine years ago I was in a relationship with someone and I ended it because of my MH issues, I did not know who I was and therefore felt unable to open up to someone else. There were also traumatic events that had happened while we knew each other and at the time I could not be in contact with anything that reminded me of those scary memories, people included.

The counselling has allowed me to reconnect with that period of my life and assimilate it with my present sense of self.

Lots of good memories of spending time with my ex have returned, as well as some of the happy emotions I experienced.

We were always good friends as well as lovers.

My question is should I get in touch? Also has anybody else renewed contact with old partners, friends or family? If so how did this go?


Well-known member
Aug 17, 2012
The West Country
Sounds like the counselling is really helping you.
I'm pleased that some happier memories have returned - that's really lovely. :)

I haven't had any of these experiences, so I can't speak from experience or give you any advice.
But personally, i'd have to weigh up whether or not any potential risks are outweighed by the potential happiness a reunion could bring.


Well-known member
Mar 13, 2011
Yes the counselling is proving helpful, particularly for the PTSD.

I do have many concerns.

I am weighing up the issues that could occur. It has been a long time he could be married with children, or angry at me, there are so many factors to consider. On the other hand he could be pleased to hear from me and happy to be friends again.

A huge part of me feels the ending we had was not satisfactory and I was so confused back then, I had no idea of what I actually wanted from life. My emotions and mood were in constant flux.

I might have to leave it as a regret and unfinished business. I guess sometimes it is better to have fond memories than taint them and end up causing angst for both of us.
Last edited:


Well-known member
Jul 19, 2010
middle earth
I've reconnected with a couple of old friends, and it's been ok, but there are also others whom I would feel VERY wary about being back in contact with again, mainly because of how the relationships stopped, or how I've changed since then. I think some of them wouldn't approve and I'm loth to put myself back through that really.

It's a tricky one, I think - considering whether to reconnect with people from the past. I guess we have to be careful as to our motives - are we doing it so we feel better about something, or is there a genuine desire to reconnect with someone we had good times with? One my friends I"m recently back in touch with knows something of how I've changed since I saw her last (about 17 years I think) and she's ok with it, so we are going to meet up soon which will be good, but I think there will still be that wariness there. Others I might like to see again to make me feel better (apologising for something, for example), but I don't think it would be wise. And to be honest, that's fine. It wasn't anything hugely massive and I can live with it being unsaid.

As I said.... difficult decision to make. But I guess if you never put the feelers out and give the person the chance to say yes or no, then you'll never know.


Well-known member
Mar 13, 2011
Thanks for sharing your experiences Pepecat, you have given me food for thought.

There are a few motivations for wanting to renew contact, some are altruistic and others for my own benefit. So a mixed bag.

I think I will think it over some more and not act too quickly.
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
R My partner lied about his past love life People 11
M Feeling shunned by sister and past friends People 6
M Back in contact with past flame People 1
J Girl From My Past Wants To Date But I Upset Her Twice People 2
G My girlfriend has been abused and mistreated in the past and no longer feels emotions People 1
M Would any girl like a guy with a dark past like mine? People 16
A Haunted by my girlfriends past People 9
G past playing on my mind People 3
L This guy from the past People 3
N Do you ever get angry at yourself for not being more assertive in the past? People 3
F Someone fron the past trying to set me up!!! People 2
L Family not letting me go travelling due to being reclusive mentally ill past 10 years People 5
H Sabotaging the future because the past has been bad People 3
Valdore Prisoner of her past People 5
Valdore Can get past what she said... People 3
M Husband is obsessed with my past People 2
GreenTea a face from the past People 5
P How much do you tell a new bf about your past People 9
I Relationships. Why can’t I find anyone ??? People 11
M Amazing video about having better relationships... People 0
PinkCandyFloss Relationships and truths *Trigger warning** People 3
PinkCandyFloss “Colourful” family (and other) relationships (May be triggering for some) People 7
V unsatisfying relationships People 6
D Extensive problems with relationships People 3
A People and Relationships People 1
A Relationships People 1
A Destructive and unrealistic relationships People 14
D Romantic & Sexual Relationships People 8
P Family Relationships People 1
ElDorado Does anxiety/depression make you lose interest in relationships? People 2
S Relationships: And being put off People 1
D Amazingly hard to make friends and I keep running away from possible relationships People 4
M Running away from all my relationships People 2
cpuusage Relationships - Wisdom - Relationships and Emotions People 3
Diesel1988 I try to make friends, and to make my relationships work. People 1
S In relationships or opposite sex friendships do you keep with the same type People 12
Maya J Relationships scare me a bit People 3
J Can't maintain healthy friendships, relationships or get on with my family People 8
BEDROCK Broken Friendships & Relationships People 2
S Relationships, sadly vacant for the last 30 years...... People 42
P depression and how it is effecting me with "relationships" People 8
M Can't maintain relationships... what is wrong with me? People 5
R Relationships if you aren't particularly flush with cash People 7
W What is wrong with me? relationships/friends People 4
B Dealing with People and relationships. People 1
B Living and ending relationships People 2
GreenTea relationships People 8
Mandie1982 Having a Hard Time with Trust/Relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder People 5
A manipulative and controlling parents/relationships People 3
B want to tell my story from the very first day of my school life to present- dealing with depression People 1

Similar threads