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Wiseowl

Wiseowl

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Mar 13, 2011
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I had a counselling session that has helped with some past memories.

About nine years ago I was in a relationship with someone and I ended it because of my MH issues, I did not know who I was and therefore felt unable to open up to someone else. There were also traumatic events that had happened while we knew each other and at the time I could not be in contact with anything that reminded me of those scary memories, people included.

The counselling has allowed me to reconnect with that period of my life and assimilate it with my present sense of self.

Lots of good memories of spending time with my ex have returned, as well as some of the happy emotions I experienced.

We were always good friends as well as lovers.

My question is should I get in touch? Also has anybody else renewed contact with old partners, friends or family? If so how did this go?
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Sounds like the counselling is really helping you.
I'm pleased that some happier memories have returned - that's really lovely. :)

I haven't had any of these experiences, so I can't speak from experience or give you any advice.
But personally, i'd have to weigh up whether or not any potential risks are outweighed by the potential happiness a reunion could bring.
 
Wiseowl

Wiseowl

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Yes the counselling is proving helpful, particularly for the PTSD.

I do have many concerns.

I am weighing up the issues that could occur. It has been a long time he could be married with children, or angry at me, there are so many factors to consider. On the other hand he could be pleased to hear from me and happy to be friends again.

A huge part of me feels the ending we had was not satisfactory and I was so confused back then, I had no idea of what I actually wanted from life. My emotions and mood were in constant flux.

I might have to leave it as a regret and unfinished business. I guess sometimes it is better to have fond memories than taint them and end up causing angst for both of us.
 
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pepecat

pepecat

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I've reconnected with a couple of old friends, and it's been ok, but there are also others whom I would feel VERY wary about being back in contact with again, mainly because of how the relationships stopped, or how I've changed since then. I think some of them wouldn't approve and I'm loth to put myself back through that really.

It's a tricky one, I think - considering whether to reconnect with people from the past. I guess we have to be careful as to our motives - are we doing it so we feel better about something, or is there a genuine desire to reconnect with someone we had good times with? One my friends I"m recently back in touch with knows something of how I've changed since I saw her last (about 17 years I think) and she's ok with it, so we are going to meet up soon which will be good, but I think there will still be that wariness there. Others I might like to see again to make me feel better (apologising for something, for example), but I don't think it would be wise. And to be honest, that's fine. It wasn't anything hugely massive and I can live with it being unsaid.

As I said.... difficult decision to make. But I guess if you never put the feelers out and give the person the chance to say yes or no, then you'll never know.
 
Wiseowl

Wiseowl

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Thanks for sharing your experiences Pepecat, you have given me food for thought.

There are a few motivations for wanting to renew contact, some are altruistic and others for my own benefit. So a mixed bag.

I think I will think it over some more and not act too quickly.
 
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