Past mistakes guilt

M

Murrr

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Jul 29, 2018
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Hi!
I have had different types of OCD. But when past mistakes pops up, its the worst kind. I could use a little help with one. Its something im not proud of. When I was younger and masturbated on different porn sites, it happened a couple of times that I watched free live cams. I never wrote anything, or paid money to go private, and the girls there hade a lot of viewers at the same time, so it was not any emotions or anything involved. The thing is, I've been with my girlfriend for over three years now, and my mind is trying to make me believe that I also did this after I got together with her, witch I'm 99% sure I didnt. I know I did it a couple of times before when I was in other relationships , but I didnt think of it as wrong. But now my mind wants me to tell her, even though I know she either wouldnt care, or would get a bit hurt. So I'm trying to tell myself It's unnecessary to confess anything, but I dont know if it's the OCD, or if I should tell her. She know I have watched porn, something that I stopped with some months back, havent told her that yet either actually.

Any tips would be appreciated!
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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:welcome: to the Forum, murr. You want to tell her about your porn watching to make yourself feel better. It is a selfish thing. It will only worry her. She's not there as a parent to forgive you. To absolve you. You will only turn it into a bigger problem in your relationship by giving it air time. It will only make her feel bad.
 
M

Murrr

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Jul 29, 2018
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Thanks for the reply! Yeah, thats what I feel as well. Its been in my head for a week now, and makes me feel that if I watched live cam its more crossing a line or cheating, than watching porn which shes OK with. Even though Im quite sure I didnt watch cam since years before I met her, Its like my OCD tries to persuade me that maybe I did early in the relationship. I know its stupid, but my OCD tries to tell me she deserves to know this. I will keep it to myself, it will only make an uncomfortable situation. OCD keeps finding stuff to feel guilty about.
Would be nice to learn a good method to work with the past mistakes OCD.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Hey Murr, you know the old saying; you can't change the past. Guilty feelings are just beating yourself up.

I have done some huge "mistakes" in the past. But I view it a bit differently now. All that has happened in my horrific past was predestined. If it was my destiny, then I couldn't help but do those things based on my programming. Wherefore should I feel guilty ? ;)
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Another attitude shift I've had is I learned my guilt tripping is just a trick of the mind. It's like a bad habit. I had to learn to ignore the tendency until it just disappeared. I had to say NO to it, sometimes out loud.
 
Last edited:
Zardos

Zardos

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...All that has happened in my horrific past was predestined. If it was my destiny, then I couldn't help but do those things based on my programming. Wherefore should I feel guilty ?
Now theres dangerous thinking
 
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