- Jan 25, 2020
Past event OCD is different because I'm not worried and ruminating on what COULD happen, I'm ruminating on what DID happen. And by extension I guess I still am going through the options of everything in my mind that could happen due to this. Basically I had a phase in my life, about 4 years or so maybe so not even a short time in my early childhood where I had an awful superstitious compulsion. I'm too embarrassed to post it but it drove my parents crazy and several other people knew about it. It is humiliating to me how my mind could be so illogical and it was illogical even to me who knows it stemmed from a mental health issue, so imagine how it would sound to people who aren't familiar with that aspect. I am terrified about it coming up. Even at the time I had this I hated that I did it, but it was a thing that I needed to do to keep my good luck. This doesn't affect me in the slightest anymore but I keep ruminating on the fact that it did. I even have a list of mental reassurance rituals that I have to go through when it gets really bad or I think it will come up. How do you deal with past event OCD?